21
Mar
2010
Michael’s Oxford Speech, 2001
Apart from hearing Michael's beautiful voice, I love to hear the sentiment and sincerity in his words. The deep understanding and brave honesty. It's touching and heart braking but oh, so necessary!
Is it real? Is he faking? What do you think?
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19 Responses to “Michael’s Oxford Speech, 2001”
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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. ShakespeareCreate an account with FB, Twitter, Google and Yahoo!
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(Spike to Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
"----->His intelligence is instinctual and emotional, like a child’s. If any artist loses that childlikeness, you lose a lot of creative juice. So Michael creates around himself a world that protects his creativity”. ~ Jane Fonda
Uh... I'll listen to it tomorrow, today is not the best day for me.
Can I show you a few of my faves vids?
Oh God... Michael... it's all so unfair...
*leaves the room sobbing*
***edited: Thanks Annie, the first three I already have up and I put up the other four, don't cry honey. We're all so emotional this week!!!
Okay I guess I'll be the first one to respond to Michael's wonderful speech. I'm kind of in a dilemma after hearing his speech because, he's asking every child out there who has ever been hurt by their parents to forgive them, yet when Michael brings up the part about Joe never telling them what a GREAT show they did, he was so choked up. The pain is still there, but how can you ever truly forgive someone and move on from the past. The damage has already been done. I commend Michael for asking children to forgive their parents, but its much easier said than done, Michael no doubt has a big heart. Even before I had ever even heard this speech I had figured out Joe's motives for why he was so hard on Michael and his brothers. I no doubt agree it must have been hard having been brought with an "iron fist" by his father Samuel, and growing up in America, that too in the South where racial discrimination against African Americans was prevalent, but does this all make a good excuse or justify Joe's actions? I don't think so. Joe was hard on Michael and his brothers, because he did not want them to be treated subordinately fine, and thus pushed them to be great performers. What about all those parents out there who don't really have a strong motive other than the fact they themselves are just wounded puppies and taking out all their anger and frusteration on their children. Can those children truly forgive. Michael says he can forgive, because he saw the reason behind his father's abuse and since Joe did not know how to be the kind of father Michael always wanted him to be, Michael could forgive him. In my opinion, motive or no motive it does not excuse a parent from abusing their child.
It was so heartbreaking about the part where me met the little boy with cancer and he didn't live to see Michael in concert. Then on one of the points, where Michael said every child should be loved "even if they have a face only a mother can love", I was almost choked. I was like Oh Michael if you're referring to yourself, don't....YOU have a face everyone loves". I've heard Michael many times say that he loves performing and somewhere he means it. However, if given the chance I'm sure he would have traded it all in for the kind of home he was talking about in his speech where a home that is filled with love is always bright and snugly, and to be able to call Joseph, Daddy. At times I just think Michael says he loves to perform just to keep all his fans hearts and not wanting to hurt them, but it just makes me say to myself "that's okay Michael....we would still love you". I would like Michael even if he was just a regular, the guy next door, since he had such a good heart. Liking Michael for me has nothing to do with his music and dancing which are no doubt GREAT! His singing and dancing was just a stepping stone, a medium for reaching out to the world. Michael's mission here on earth was much larger than his career, unfortunately many people only stop at that, and don't want to hear the rest as what Michael talked in this speech.
Well, Sonia these two quotes kind of sum it up for me: Forgiveness is a present you give to yourself.
And Refusing to forgive is like taking poison and hoping the person you are not forgiving will die.
When we don't forgive, we just hurt our own selves. No amount of anger is ever going to make the other person acknowledge or even be sorry for what they've done.
It's not to excuse what the person has done, it's just to release yourself from the pain, and to accept the person as they are.
And really that's the only way to heal. I think Michael finally came to a place where he understood, as he said, that Joe was the only father he was going to have and because he WANTED a relationship with him, he was going to make the best of it.
I listened to this speech shotly after he passed. It totally broke my heart into many pieces. I cried when he chocked and when he shared his "donut" story. Michael did have a big heart but at the same time he was very understanding. I think before we all judge Joe TOO harshly we should put ourselves in his shoes. He was RESPONSIBLE for 6 boys and 3 girls. Not an easy task. None of the children ended up in gangs or drugs or pregnant ot other horrible situations. In that aspect, I believe Joe and Katherine did a wonderful job in keeping the children on the right track. But Joe did take it way toooooo far with the performances and the practices. He shouldn't have hit the kids. I feel sooo soo bad for Marlon b/c all the brothers always say that MArlon got most of the beatings. No body is perfect. I do believe that joe loved his children. He just had too much pride to show it. You never know, maybe he cried behind closed doors when michael passed.
Elmira, I believe Joseph is a wounded soul who just passed on his hurt to Michael but he chose to have those kids so he can't complain about feeding them or taking care of them. I tell my childrenS' father that all the time when he tries to complain about how much it costs to raise kids. I tell him, Next time, where a condom.
Remember how Michael died- it's not true that none of his kids ended up on drugs or in horrible situations. Jermaine had two kids within months of each other w/ his mistress and his wife. He also had children with his brother's fiance, the mother of his nephews. Randy beat up his wife and spent one month in a psyche ward. Michael suffered all his life from what they did to him.
I'm sorry honey, but Katherine and Joseph -- and this is my opinion -- they did a HORRIBLE job -- Katherine did not protect her children and Joseph was a hypocritical role model -- in fact both of them were. That doesn't mean they didn't do good. But their bad, boy it was BAD. Don't you think it's strange the neither Janet or Latoya had kids? Joseph not only abused the kids physically, it was verbal and emotional too. And they USED Michael to fulfill their own dreams. That's the worst thing you can do to a child. Joseph did the best he knew how, it's true, Katherine too, but it was not good, and certainly not good enough.
From one Leo to another, honey you know I gotta tell you how I feel! :)
Now now, don't all the Leos here get all cozy, the Libra is right behind you with the scales of justice, and boy oh boy do I love to speak my mind, gotten me into a heck of trouble in my lifetime also. I try to be as fair when speaking my mind and talk as objectively as possible, but in the end it all comes down to personal opinions which everyone is entitled to.
When I think of the Jacksons I just think my family not just immediate but aunts, uncles, cousins everyone, could really give the Jacksons a run for their money when it comes to being messed up, it would be neck "n" neck competition. Since we also have big families and many things parallel the Jacksons. Cheating, sleeping with the other brother's wife, aunt being stuck in an abusive marriage and my dad had to rescue her like the way Randy had to go rescue LaToya, and my grandparents also losing a baby at birth. I know this could be alot of families out there, but I personally think my is worse, I could be wrong though.
I never thought I would say this, as much as I hate to admit it, I loved that part when Michael talked about the glazed doughnuts, and how his dad use to secretly put them downstairs without being noticed. I guess Joe did have feelings but for fear that it might make his kids weak he never showed it. When I listen to Michael talk, NOT that I condone what Joe did, although I've made that clear, at least, AT LEAST he had an agenda in mind and goal for what he was trying to make his kids into. When I think of my own mother, or antoinette's character, I can't see much of a goal in their minds for their kids, other than that they are just a nuisance and parasites. Again I commend Michael's big heart, but some parents are beyond reach, and many relationships too damaged, but course his advice would have to be taken on a case by case basis.
The part where he talks about a dog named "black girl" and how he and Janet tried their best to love it, but their efforts proved futile, as I always say, if the right thing isn't done at the right time, it has no meaning. When Michael talked about this point, it almost sounded as if he was contradicting himself. On one hand he believes relationships can be salvaged on the other hand once damage is done, it done for good. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, the people out there who are willing to work on their relationships with their parents should, but for others there is just too much water under the bridge to go back. I know I wouldn't want to, knowing how toxic my family is, because on many occasions I have given them chances and they just go back to their old ways in no time. It has to be a team effort and its not a one man show.
As for is Joe faking it or not. I don't think so, but like I said if the right thing isn't done at the right time it has no meaning. Which I why I think that Shmuley really sold Michael out. He said the intention always was for those tapes to be published so Michael could revive his public image and clear up suspicions. Then why for almost 10 years those tapes were sitting idle and only after Michael died he decided to publish them. Michael's death defeated the purpose of those tapes being published, and since he is no more, it has no meaning left.
LOL. when it comes to dysfunctional I think my family could win a contest!!! I don't know Sonia, maybe Joseph felt "safe" to express that bit of sadness after Michael was dead?
It's still his ego talking 'cause he's saying that he could have saved him -- well what was he doing for the last 10, 20 years? Joseph was part of the problem.
I think when Michael talked about his dog, and him having been so damaged he couldn't trust, I think he was validating how difficult it would be for children to forgive their parents for harming them -- but still, idealistically, he was saying ultimately this is what is necessary to repair the family. It's true, I think but possible? Maybe not for many families, dare I say most? Yes, the damage is done but even the hardest of hearts can be turned. I believe in miracles!!!
Jermaine of all the brothers seemed to have been waiting for Michael to die so that he could step into the limelight.
I'm sorry everyone who might be reading if this might be a somber topic, but it's the ugly truth. Jermaine, who called himself Michael's backbone? Come on Jermaine!
I don't know if its my overactive imagination or its one of those things that everyone internally questions but just afraid to voice it. Sometimes I've gotten this strange gut feeling that Michael's brothers wanted him to die. The way they were so pissed off that they didn't get invited to the Grammy's, its like since Michael is no longer alive, the coast is clear, they're all fighting to hog the spotlight. When Michael died, the day after Janet was allowed onto the premises of his mansion and got some stuff not quite clear what. The way Joe has gone knocking at the court's door begging for a monthly allowance, uugghh!!! My husband and I have talked about this, and its not as straightforward as it looks, the less I say the better.
What's even worse is just 2 days after he died, some paparazzi shot some footage of debbie inside a restaurant and she was smiling and having lunch like nothing happened, and then blew once outside. Well don't wanna get into that. The only one who truly looked sad was Katherine and the his children.
*sigh* I can't even finish watching...
this is too much
c'mere Annie...
follow me to the sweet smile room - that is my haven
Oh Gosh.. That was a wonderful speech and you can feel that it was spoken from the heart. I also love the doughnut story and can somewhat relate because my father doesn't show his emotions and never told me that he loved me either so I also tend to hold on to the little things.
Okay, I'm starting to get emotional
Hey Ms.Janice, it seems to be the order of the day, being emotional that is. The only emotion my Dad ever showed is anger and laughter. MIchael is so smart and insightful!!!!
Hi Martinigril! Sorry we're not partying -- wouldn't want to bring anyone down, but it just seems to be where we are today. . .
Sonia, I think Jackie was pretty shook up by Michael's death, Janet too. The rest of them, I think they were taught to hide their feelings and probably don't know HOW they feel.
Welll.. it depends what aspect of parenting skills we are talking about I guess.
I don't know anymore. I am a big fan of michael and janet. I know they loved eachother dearly. I don't think janet lived of of michael's success. I think Janet is also talented but not as much as Michael. Anywyas.
Do you guys know if Jermaine and Randy talk to eachother? :S
I know Jermaine stole randy's fiance.. gosh some ppl are soo messed up..
I think MJ got over it and the fans should too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQgDDCTdMoU
Obviously the way he felt about his parents is all that matters. Not how other people who don't even know them feel.
"I think MJ got over it and the fans should too."
Michael didn't get over it -- He died. :(
About the worst thing you can say to a person dealing w/ trauma is "get over it". Humans don't heal that way. You wouldn't tell a person w/ a gunshot wound to just get over it . . . the wound needs to be treated, cleaned and sewn up. Feelings need to be processed, experienced and felt, not dismissed. Even the fans, who many of them relate to Michael because they've gone through the same thing, need to process their feelings; everyone's feelings matter.
Michael loved his parents but he was also very hurt by them, which is perfectly normal considering how they treated him, but he also didn't want the media bad mouthing them. They were his parents after all -- makes sense to me. It's like I can say anything about my mother but don't you say it -- I'm not like that but many people are. Michael never took back what he said about the abuse. He was honest about it until the very end. He just wanted to paint a balanced picture of his parents. Joseph helped him but hurt him, too. So did Katherine, (and Michael never was even able to admit that). That's the human experience. Even the best parents at one point or another hurt their children.
I forgot to add above that Latoya went on to marry an abusive man and also accused her own brother of molestation publicly. I think that hurt Michael more than he could say, and Latoya said they just never talked about it.
Elmira, I don't know if Randy and Jermaine talk -- I know he didn't want to have anything to do with the reality show, which says a lot to me.
How old was Michael when he made this speech?????
40 right?
Well i dont think he got over it. And like Sabine said he died. He died because he was trying to suppress the pain and ignore it. I think he was just starting to recognize, and deal with the it.
He died because he was trying to suppress the pain and ignore it. I think he was just starting to recognize, and deal with the it.
Aint that the sad truth. :(
I totally agree with you Sabine when you said, Michael did love his parents, but when the people whom you look up to the most, your parents are the very ones inflicting the wounds, nothing could be more painful, no wonder Michael could never trust anyone. The very people who brought him into this world hurt him. I'm like that also with my husband, when he starts to say stuff about my parents I'll be like, "man what are you so pissed off at em about?....you weren't around when they were doing all their bs with me, I have good reason to talk bad about them, whats your reason??" In that way I can understand Michael, to me that is a sign of a decent human being with a good soul.
Many people like to give Joe, and Michael did also the credit for his success but I really have to question that. Michael was naturally gifted from God with the talent he displayed during his lifetime, to me all Joe did was just perhaps help Michael channel it in the right direction, its another matter that he could have done it in a more loving and less abusive way, but still I feel no one can totally "make" someone. Its not as if Joe instilled all that talent in Michael, if that was true, how come the rest of his brothers didn't become as big as Michael did? Because I think Michael was "the chosen one" by God that's why. Joe never really ever gave a pat on the back or credit for all the hard work he was doing, because Joe probably felt that if he let Michael know how great he was, Michael then would probably become over confident, smug, cocky or whatever and not strive to continuously improve himself, and start thinking he was "all that". I don't think so, I personally feel like doing even better and improving myself even more when someone makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9. Its so encouraging to feel positive about yourself and have a positive outlook, and if Joe had realized this, Michael could have been spared all the pain.
I couldn't agree w/ you more, really everything you've said. The fact is Michael was chosen. Joseph channeled. None of the other brothers had his passion, determination or drive. I awlays wonder how big Michael would have been if he had loving supportive planets. I mean, to me the sky is the limit! But then again, I remember that most of our "leaders" come from backgrounds filled with pain. I guess that's what shapes our character. WE get tested in the fire, like iron. Iron can't be molded unless it's red hot. Sometimes i think people are like that.