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23 Jun 2010

Understanding Michael

GIFs Pictures, Michael Jackson, Understanding Michael 58 Comments

In the wake of the anniversary of Michael’s passing, I’ve read a number of articles reflecting on his life.  Invariably they start out the same.  We remark on the boy genius and then the young man, with his angelic voice and flawless dancing, who took the world by storm.  There is much to do about the amazing, timeless music he’s produced and how it became the soundtrack of our lives.  Inevitably, the author goes into the tragic circumstances surrounding the child abuse allegations and the ensuing trial.  Off we go into the world of plastic surgery, as some remark not too kindly about his changing face and what self-loathing must have prompted it and then, of course,  we  travel down the sordid road of  Michael’s drug addiction.

The author always sums up his piece much like a cautionary tale of how not to live, what choices not to make and how one might end up — if they’re not careful.  And I’m always left with a longing, an unfulfilled, desperate wish:  I wish people would try to understand Michael.

I have a nephew.  He actually reminds me a little of Michael.  He’s tall, extremely thin, with long bony arms.  He’s wearing his hair in a curly afro now and he has a nicely shaped, if a bit wide, African American nose.   He can dance extremely well, loves to draw,  has a lovely voice and oh my God  he’s so funny.  He’s so funny, we all badger him to tell us stories and act out skits.  He actually loves to do it, too, and I’m so amazed sometimes by his talent.  I often think he should have been a child star himself but then I think of Michael and I correct my thinking.

One day while I was with him, his sister begged him to act out the story of Niko — a character he created, a little mischievous boy who was always getting into trouble.  My nephew sighed and said, ” I don’t feel like it”.

She asked again and my kids even got in on it but he said, “Nope, not right now.” See, as much as he loved telling jokes and entertaining us, he wasn’t in the mood.

Imagine not being able to say NO?

Imagine feeling obligated, from a very young age, to meet the needs of others while at the same time you are asked to deny your own needs, sacrifice your own wishes, ignore your own feelings and desires.  Michael was asked to do this not only by a domineering father who never once stopped to think about the extremely sensitive child he had been gifted with and what would make him happy, but then as he grew as an artist, by an ever increasing, insatiable audience.  We loved Michael.  We loved him so much we couldn’t get enough of him.  We wanted more and more and more.

The amazing part of it is that Michael gave us all and then some.  What artist in the history of music has ever been more attuned to his fans?  He never failed to acknowledged their undying love for him and to tell them how much he appreciated them for it.  He even served them food as they chanted for him outside of his window.    He loved us MORE.    For the This Is It tour, Michael asked his fans to tell him the songs they wanted him to perform.  He made a list of all the songs his fans wanted to hear and agonized over his own list because it didn’t encompass all their choices.  He didn’t want to disappoint us.   He gave of his time, going to orphanages, hospitals, touching the lives of the sick and the dying.  He gave his money, millions of dollars to charitable groups and schools and those in need.

But still, somehow, it was not enough.   People who he invited into his home, to whom he extended his kindness felt in some strange way that he owed them more.  And when he dared step back and say, through his actions, I think that’s enough, they became hell bent on extracting some kind of sick revenge, in effect sending the message to him:  You don’t get to tell us no.

Did anyone ever stop to think that Michael needed SPACE?  Did any of his loyal, loving fans who followed him from city to city and camped out in front of his hotels ever think that Michael needed TIME, PRIVACY, and life of his own, separate and apart from them?

When I look at Michael’s life, I see the life of a child prodigy gone terribly wrong.  He was a man who was never given space to be himself — what space he had, he created through his musical genius but always, always, he had vultures waiting at the gates, encroaching on his boundaries, employees, family, fans and wanna-be’s with their hand out stating:  WE WANT MORE.  Eventually, they invaded his home and robbed him of his serenity.  They took the beautiful haven he built for himself and filled it with memories of a shameful investigation based on lies.

I think that Michael’s life is a lesson to us all of what we, the public,  can do to the ones we claim we love; what can happen to a person when all they have to give  IS NOT ENOUGH.  When I look at the issues that Michael had, the way he tried to medicate his pain and fashion his face into someone he could recognize and live with, I totally understand.

As we grow from a child into an adult, we learn about who we are, what we like, what we don’t like, what we can tolerate, what we won’t stand for; we learn WHO WE ARE — Michael was never given — forget the chance but the space to do this.  When I look back at Michael’s life I  see a man struggling to be himself in a world that was constantly telling him who he was.

Now as the anniversary of his death approaches, there’s a race to produce programs that attempt to tell us who Michael was.  I listen to Michael’s music, I stop and pay attention to his lyrics,  I read his words in interviews and in his books and I hear Michael.  He told us who he was.  And that is enough for me.

This piece continues in Will the Real Michael Jackson Stand Up

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58 Responses to “Understanding Michael”

  1. MJQuan says:

    wow.... extremely tpuching. i feel the same way you feel about him.. but people do me the same way then turn aaruond and ridicule me... i love you michael and i can truly say i understand him because his spirit is inside me, i feel it. :wub: :angel:

  2. MJQuan says:

    sorry about the typos P.O.S.

  3. Jenny says:

    Just beautiful!

    Why do so many people fail to understand him?

    What do all of his haters and detractors have in common? Fear? Contempt? Jealousy? Ignorance? Narrow-mindedness? And why does there seem to be so many of them?

    I'll never understand this world or some of the people around me.

    :ermm: :sad: :unsure:

  4. Vicki says:

    Sabine: This is beautiful. From the heart and extremely perceptive. By the end, I was starting to tear up...,But then I saw the gorgeous pic to the left where he is looking over, checking up on us, making sure we smile and not cry when we think about him. I love this man. It's not just the media that needed to learn to give him space and let him live his life, but also the fans. I wish the fans would leave him alone now. They are becoming tabloid fodder, the one thing MJ truly despised. Like I said to you earlier today, MJ wrote hundreds and hundreds of songs. He had a voice, a very strong powerful one. Read, listen and learn. Fans who say they are now the voice of Mj need to realize MJ was strong and expressive. Let his voice be his voice, don't try to replace it.

    *getting off my soapbox*

    L.O.V.E. you girl!

  5. EnolaLee says:

    Amen.

    Thank you, Sabine.

  6. Frodes says:

    Sabine, words cannot express how beautiful I thought this was.

    I am CONSTANTLY asking myself "Why don't people understand him??? Why is it so hard to get???"

    But I understand him. I GET HIM. I see right through all of that media bullshit and I GET HIM.

    There's not one journalist or reporter that will EVER take that from me.

  7. katieangeli says:

    I won't say much because I guess you can understand how emotional and difficult times are for all of us. I could only say worse than yesterday, better than tomorrow... I am with you in all you said.
    all my love, Katie

  8. Sabine says:

    Hi everyone!!! Hi MjQuan, Jenny, Frodes, Enola

    OMG, :cheerful: Vicki, I'm honored -- hunored!

    Everyone, Vicki was the inspiration for this piece -- I knew I would write something in honor Michael, and after I rec'd an email from her earlier, the words just came together of their own accord.

    Vicki, well girl, you know I agree w/ you. Everyone needs space. Michael never was allowed that and every time he tried to make space for himself people with an incredible sense of entitlement, the media and yes, some fans, intruded on his space. If you were never allowed to say no as a child, it would be very difficult for you to say no as and adult.
    **********
    Jenny, I think it's fear, pure and simple. Human being's tend to fear that which they don't understand -- and run away from it rather than try and understand it. Everything else you mentioned stems from fear -- jealousy, contempt, ignorance, narrow-mindedness -- because they are afraid that inside they are not good enough, and they were afraid that Michael was TOO GOOD; knowing that made their fear; their insecurity worst. :sad:
    **********
    MJQuan I think having a connection to Michael spiritually is a wonderful, fulfilling feeling, and the best part is you can still feel him even though his body is gone.
    **********

    Enola, thanks!!!!!

    **********

    Frodes: But I understand him. I GET HIM. I see right through all of that media bullshit and I GET HIM.

    There’s not one journalist or reporter that will EVER take that from me.

    Frodes, that's the spirit girl!!!! I love what you've said. Music to my ears!!!

    No, no they can't take that away from me :whistle:
    *********
    Katerina, I understand -- thanks for reading and sharing, even in your sadness.

  9. Frodes says:

    Hey guys. Just wanted to share something with you that I found on another Michael forum that I post on called "Positively Michael". A group of MJ fans wrote a letter to Tom Mesereau in appreciation of what he did for Michael. I wanted to share it here because I feel that he is one of the few people in Michael's life that really understood him. The first bit is the letter sent from the fans:

    Letter to Tom Mesereau (FINAL)
    Monday, May 31, 2010 at 11:22am
    A LETTER OF APPRECIATION TO THOMAS A. MESEREAU, JR.

    Heroes stand side by side on the battlefields of war serving proudly to preserve our liberty and civil rights, and we honor them with the recognition they deserve. However, in everyday walks of life we see very few heroes. But we can think of two...and one of those heroes is you.

    As we face the painful one-year anniversary of the passing of our beloved Michael Jackson,
    the impact of his death continues to be intensely felt by fans around the world, as seen by the names that accompany this letter. We represent only a handful of the thousands who have come together to share our love and respect for Michael's genius, artistry and humanitarian greatness - and to share our grief.

    It was love that ruled Michael's heart and a desire to help others that drove his passion for living. Michael was a silent hero, who did so much to improve the human condition, yet never sought recognition or glory. His unsurpassed humanitarian efforts were seldom covered by the media. For every charitable deed the press "reluctantly" reported, Michael performed hundreds of private individual acts of kindness and generosity for people around the world. He was a true hero - one who did great things when no one was looking. Sadly, it is only after his death that many are discovering what an incredibly gentle, giving and compassionate man Michael was.

    Mr. Mesereau, to Michael's fans...you are also one such hero. So many disturbing questions remain about Michael's death, along with painful reminders of his last days that many of us are still barely able to hold it together. The loss of his life is felt as strongly as for one of our own. He is gone now, yet the mainstream media continue their tradition of treating Michael's death with the same ridicule he faced in life, proving once again that there are no heroes in journalism.

    Having said that, we wanted to mark this painful anniversary with something positive. And what better way than to express our heartfelt appreciation for your magnificent skills in representing Michael in 2005. Amidst the corruption, extortion and media bias that preyed on Michael, for no other purpose than to witness the fall of a great man played out on the world stage, you emerged as the beacon of sanity, integrity and truth. In a defining moment of frightening proportions, you were a Godsend for our precious Michael at a time when he had reached the lowest point in his life.

    Had it not been for your tireless research, belief in his innocence, and your commitment to defending Michael with every fiber of your conscience, we know the outcome could have been very different. Another attorney concerned with his own rising star might have played to the media, shortchanging Michael of the legal attention he deserved. We dare not think about what might have been had you not taken his case, as it is too agonizing to imagine Michael being incarcerated for a crime he did not commit!

    Mr. Mesereau, Michael Jackson's acquittal was every bit your victory as well as his. You were relentless in your commitment, not only to defend Michael enough to create reasonable doubt, but to prove to the world he was innocent! It takes a very special dedication and conviction to have gone the full course, and in doing so you stood out as a true defender of not only Michael, but of justice. You displayed impeccable skill, ethics - and a quiet dignity not often seen in high profile media cases. Just as Michael represented the best that humanity had to offer, you set the gold standard for what anyone entering the legal profession can and should aspire to.

    Reflecting today on the aftermath of such a victory must be painfully bittersweet for you, as it is for us. For we must now acknowledge the final tragedy of knowing Michael would only live another four years. Having heard your statements that followed the trial and Michael's death, we know his passing has left its mark on your heart. On this first anniversary without him, we miss his goodness and gentle soul more than words can say. But, at a time when it appeared that all hope was lost, we thank you for giving Michael back his life, for returning a father to his children, and for giving his fans and the world a joyful and just day to remember on June 13th, 2005. But most of all, thank you for being the "silent" hero Michael needed in his darkest hour. We will never forget what you did for him.

    With Deepest Love and Gratitude

    Here's the link
    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/...l/449060208974

    And here is the response that he sent back to the fans:

    MESEREAU & Yu, LLP
    ATTORNEYS AT LAW
    * A limited liabili!y parrnership including professional corporations.

    10390 SANTA MONICA BLVD.
    SUITE 220
    LOS ANGELES, CA 90025
    Tel: (310) 789-1177
    Fax: (310) 861-1007
    Website: http://www.mesereauyu.com

    June 22, 2010

    Dear Micheline:

    I am very grateful and deeply honored to have received your Letter of Appreciation.

    My gratitude goes to you and all of the "Friends of Michael Jackson," who created a sensitive, meaningful statement about my role in the defense and subsequent treatment of Michael. I can't thank you enough.

    As you all know, Michael Jackson was a towering genius, unique artist and loving individual. He had a sensitive, quiet soul that lived to create. He also did his best to propagate a unique message of love and kindness.

    Unfortunately, the world he populated is one characterized by enormous greed, violence and cruelty. In his life, the curse of jealousy and avarice seemed to constantly circle around him. His constant battle with these ugly forces took its toll.

    Nevertheless, Michael emerged victorious. The most savage attacks in the media, the courtroom and in his personal life were not able to erase the deep, loving essence of his character, spirit and ambitions. He left the world a better place.

    Your letter caused me to reflect on that powerful experience in Santa Maria, California. Yes, the opposition was fierce. But, so were we! It often seemed as if every shallow trick was constantly being thrown at us to distract from the real issues and true facts.

    On the anniversary of Michael's passing, I have a suggestion. All of us should make a special effort to be kind to someone we might tend to overlook. I believe this is the best way to honor Michael Jackson.

    Please send my best to all of your friends and associates. You have touched me very deeply, and I appreciate it very much.

    Sincerely,

    (personal signature)

    THOMAS A. MESEREAU, JR.

    I thought that was so very sweet. One of the few positive lights in Michael's life.

  10. Katie says:

    Sabine, that's so true!!!

    It's time to take a better look on what Michael gave us lovingly and be grateful that he did. I'm convinced by unwrapping a layer of his big gift, his music and his dance, his poetry, every new day (and it will last for very long and is more than enough, not to speak of what he had to endure through his life and still had the strengh to give and give and give) and giving his private life space at least now he's gone, and leave him in peace, we would do what he always wanted his fans to do, celebrate his incredible art and be happy and GRATEFUL that we had him.

  11. Sabine says:

    Wow Frodes *tear* Thanks for sharing!!!!

    I love Tom!!!! OMG, he rocks!!!! He is a person full of integrity, someone who not only talks the talk but walks the walks.

    I love his suggestion:

    All of us should make a special effort to be kind to someone we might tend to overlook. I believe this is the best way to honor Michael Jackson.

    Absolutely!!!! This is what Michael was about!!! THIS is part of who Michael was!

    Katie: . . . . giving his private life space at least now he’s gone, and leave him in peace, we would do what he always wanted his fans to do, celebrate his incredible art and be happy and GRATEFUL that we had him.

    HI Katie!!!!

    You know, if fans did what you suggested, they would allow Michael's children to enjoy the childhood that was robbed from him and not repeat the cycle. Michael gave his life to us, seriously. It's time to let his soul have some space and, as you said, peace.

  12. Scarlett says:

    Sabine, thank you so much for writing this beautiful and insightful piece. It completely expresses the feelings that I find so difficult to articulate. I repeatedly ask myself the question, "Why is it so difficult for people to understand Michael?" I struggle to understand why people cannot try to put themselves into his shoes.

    Of all the brilliant points you made, I especially like the one about Michael's privacy. He told us who he was in so many different ways and that should be enough. Whatever he chose not to tell us is not any of our business. I especially hate people who try to find inconsistencies or incompleteness in his spoken words. He had no obligation to reveal his heart to us whatsoever.

    Your point about Michael's love for his fans really humbled me. He did love us more than we loved him.

  13. Sabine says:

    Hi Scarlett -- I'm so happy I was able to give a voice to your own feelings -- isn't it magical when that happens?

    I love this part of your comment:

    Whatever he chose not to tell us is not any of our business. I especially hate people who try to find inconsistencies or incompleteness in his spoken words. He had no obligation to reveal his heart to us whatsoever.

    He really didn't!!!!!! And that he shared so much makes him sooooooo special!!!! We should really honor that!!! To me the people that look for inconsistencies don't seem to understand that human beings are complex, multifaceted people, not just images or objects that you can slap a label on.

    Michael didn't really have to tell us anything but he told us so much and I love him for his openness and his candor!!!!

    Oh, by the way, here is my nephew, the one I spoke about in the essay:

  14. foreverinmyheart says:

    i love this quote..... i hope i idid this right lol!

    Vicki: Sabine: It’s not just the media that needed to learn to give him space and let him live his life, but also the fans. I wish the fans would leave him alone now. They are becoming tabloid fodder, the one thing MJ truly despised. Like I said to you earlier today, MJ wrote hundreds and hundreds of songs. He had a voice, a very strong powerful one. Read, listen and learn. Fans who say they are now the voice of Mj need to realize MJ was strong and expressive. Let his voice be his voice, don’t try to replace it.*getting off my soapbox*L.O.V.E. you girl!
    </blockquote

  15. foreverinmyheart says:

    thank you sabine....*tears*.....im glad to be blessed with people who understand my love for the man and his music

  16. Sabine says:

    Thank you, Foreverinmyheart!!! For reading and sharing -- what you quoted -- I think what Vicki had to say is so important and so real. I'm glad she decided to stop by and chime in.

  17. Liz says:

    Sabine-

    I am glad to wake today to read this again. As the anniversary of Michael's death gets closer and closer, I feel again the anguish of losing him. The anguish, though deeper perhaps than any prior grief, is not a new feeling to those of us who loved Michael in life. My heart constricted in physical pain whenever Michael was the butt of a joke, the fodder of tabloid "journalism," or, as you have expressed, misunderstood. It broke my heart that otherwise intelligent people so easily bought what was sold to them to define Michael, rather than studying the man and the music as the source of knowledge. Fans joke that there are two types of people, Michael Jackson fans and losers - but I agree. People who did not appreciate and try to understand Michael did lose out. They lost an opportunity to see love, generosity, humor, artistry, compassion, sensitivity, strength, perseverance, acceptance and so, so much more personified in the person Michael was and the life that he always tried to live. He wanted so much to have his own space and yet continued to smile and tell us, "I love you more," each time he conceded that space for us. Thank you for what you wrote, and for understanding Michael in a world that profited by perpetuating an image the majority of the world was willing to accept. Those of us who understood him - who were and are willing to stretch ourselves and our perceptions to include his world-view and perspective, are indeed the winners. Though we have physically lost Michael, who he was will never be lost to us.

  18. Liz says:

    Frodes - Thank you for posting the TM letter and response...simply beautiful.

  19. Mel says:

    I have been trying to limit my Michael time this week for the fear it will make me too sad. Then this beautiful and well thought out sentiment is displayed and I realize why I have been so drawn to this sight. Thank you Sabine!!!!

  20. msjanice305 says:

    Good afternoon ladies

    That was beautiful Sabine, I couldn't have said it better myself. Well done.

    Frodes, thanks for posting the TM letter, it was very touching.

  21. Ingridje says:

    Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day, but reading all of these messages, makes me feel so much better. I'm ready to celebrate his life now, to remember him as the genius he was, and to love him for the man he was.

    Sabine, you put your thoughts about Michael in a beautiful tribute. Thank you so much.

    Frodes, thank you for sharing the messages to and from Tom Mesereau. I saw an interview with the man not so long ago and he was indeed the right man to defend Michael. He did an amazing job.

    For tomorrow I wish you all a lot of strength and a lot of love.
    :wub:
    Ingrid

  22. Kaija says:

    Hey everyone. I'm new to commenting here, although I have been reading and thoroughly enjoying this website for a while. I just want to say thank you and Amen, not only Sabine for posting such a beautiful and heartfelt understanding of Michael, but also to everyone who has shared their thoughts and feelings about him as well. It's very refreshing to see at least a handful of fans who DO understand him and truly love him for who he was. I also want to thank you, Sabine, for setting up this website. It has given myself and certainly many, many other fans a way to connect to others who think and feel the same way about Michael. I know I find it dificult sometimes to talk to someone about Michael and feel the same love and respect that I have for him come from the person I'm talking with. This past year has been dificult for me to deal with because I haven't had that person whom I can talk to about Michael, but, this will sound cornball I'm sure, then I stumbled across this site. All of you guys here have made me smile on more than one occasion and you mave made it much easier to think about Michael and to reflect on this past year without him.

    So, I guess I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is a part of CobraCrack Central for giving me/us/the fans someone to relate to. I am very happy that I've found this little haven where I can really feel the way I do about Michael and be with people who get it and feel the same way.

  23. Cherry says:

    Thank you Sabine for writing this! It's funny how just two days ago I tried to explain Michael to myself and had the same thoughts as you did concerning the way he grew up without having the space or the time to really get to know himself, to find his place in the world and understand how it works...He was so sensitive by nature and from the moment he was 5 until he died there was unimaginable pressure on him.

    But I know that he also had some fantastic moments in his life, got to see things, traveled the world, met the most incredible people and thrilled millions of people all his life. Who can say that? He made the world better just by being in it.

    So whenever I feel that my pity and sympathy for him overwhelm me I turn to these thoughts and his own words of how much fun he had and I feel better...

    I LOVED Michael as a child but I "moved on" to other things when I got older. So when he died a new life began for me, I was hit by something so strong, all of a sudden I was on his frequency again and I spent the past year researching him, trying to understand him, loving him, celebrating him and I feel that through that I've come to live more conciously and to love more strongly than ever. I understand a lot of things about myself by studying him, I see a lot of similarties between him and me and I've decided that he is one of MY people. :) So in that way, his death is not a bad thing for me because when he died, a new life started for me, it was like year 0 and here I am, in year 1, and I have LEARNED so much, I got to meet some wonderful people and I found this website and I am thankful for everything that has happenend to me because of Michael. Because of him I appreciate everything much more now than before...
    THere were times I was angry with him, probably because I didn't understand him, no matter how hard I tried. This is why I turn to you, Sabine, because you have shown your deep understanding of our man in your stories, this is really the reason why I love your stories. I will never stop trying to understand Michael and I feel that I will succeed more, the older I get. I'M only 21 and so some of the stuff Michael dealt with I have no idea about, which makes blame him when I probably shouildn't. On the other hand, I think there are things that you can blame him for but that's the case with everybody you will ever meet. I have to continue to get away from what the media's trying to say about him and trust my own instincts and ability to empathize and let my love for him lead the way...You, Sabine, are helping me a great deal to get there, too, thank you!

    :heart:
    Cherry

  24. MartiniGirl says:

    Thank you again Sabine for taking the time to express and share such beautiful words.

    I really feel so blessed that in such tragic circumstances I have been given the opportunity to have come to know all you beautiful wonderful strong ladies. We come from all over the world, vary in age and have such vast and different lives, yet we are bound by our unyielding love for one man. No matter how or why we love him, we know we all do fully completely with no boundaries'.

    I find it truly amazing that even though he is gone his true message of LOVE carries on.

    For the last week I have wanted to curl up into a ball and cry almost every single day - but I haven't - it is like I am waiting for the levee to break or as my good drinking buddy Enola says... waiting to exhale.

    Today I was the only person in my whole office - due to the G20 being held in my city this year - and I did something so uncharacteristic of me.

    Sitting alone in my private office - I played no music at all, not one single solitary song the entire time I was there - not even MJTunes in the background.. I too worked quietly never moving more than I had to or exerting too much energy as it seemed right for me to be quiet too...

    Tomorrow I know I will cry and CRY, but I know that it will be okay - and I hope that you all will be too..

    much L.O.V.E. ladies from the bottom of my heart
    xo

    :heart:

  25. Sabine says:

    I'm really hunored and touched by all the well thought out replies -- I don't have time to reply properly (today is my son's graduation, but I'll come back).

    I'm loving all the LOVE!!!!!

  26. ScienceGrl172 says:

    "When I look back at Michael's life I see a man struggling to be himself in a world that was constantly telling him who he was."

    "I listen to Michael's music, I stop and pay attention to his lyrics, I read his words in interviews and in his books and I hear Michael. He told us who he was."

    Yes, he most certainly did, and I understand him. I truly understand him, and he (unlike anyone I know) truly understands me too. Indeed, it was the total lack of understanding on behalf of most of the world that was a major/main contributing factor to his pain and loneliness. l love him more than anyone/anything in this world, not for his talent, but just as the truly amazing man that he was, and the amazing spirit that he is and always will be.

    Thank you for writing this.

  27. PCakes says:

    Sabine,
    Beautifully written and well said. Thank you for taking the time to roll it up into your message. Something Michael once said in an interview in the early 80's about being mobed has always stuck in my mind and to me was a metaphor of so much of his life. He said "It hurts being mobed, all these hands pulling at you like your spaghetti, tearing you apart." Everyone wanted a piece of him and if he wasn't going to give willingly then they were going to take it! His life was never his and from the age of 5 he became a commodity an no long an individual who deserved to be treated as a human being.

    My heart hurts how so many in the media continues to crucifiy this man in their so called acts of journalism. ...and so many who was suppose to be close to him family, friends, associates, etc. "selling" there rememberences / tributes. Selling the pieces of him that they TOOK of him. The exploitantion of his children is beyond disgusting. Their grandparents, uncle, aunt, cousins selling pieces of MJ's children that they TOOK for money. Could any of us imagined the unspeakable level of dysfunction, greed, narcisism, lack of accountablility, lack of shame and the lack of a moral compass this family would posess? Not I. It just continues to spiral downward.

    I am so grateful that I was alive to witness this genious...this angel that God sent us. I will continue to love him, his work and what he gave to the world. I will continue to stand up for him and hope to change one mis informed heart at a time by telling his truths. All out of L.O.V.E

    On June 25th, II will be honoring Michael by giving of my time and my money to 2 charities in his name. That is how I want to spread his message of L.O.V.E

  28. PCakes says:

    Sabine, Your nephew is adorable inside and out! Thank you for sharing him with us!

  29. Elmira2887 says:

    Sabine..
    your words are beautiful. I think you should publish it in a newspaper or something. You are right. Michael did tell us who he was. He was a beautiful person, inside and out. Caring, sweet, gentle, loving, talented and much much more.

    Thank you for the beautiful words.
    You know, my friend was telling me that she saw on TV that tomorrow night, june 25th, there was gonna be a 20/20 show on michael. She was telling me I should watch it. I Told her this "ahh they r probably gonna say a bunch of BS about him"

    you are right sabine, michael told us who he was through his music and act. we dont need to watch stupid tv shows about him to know who he was...

  30. squiffy says:

    Fabulous article, and so very, very true. My thoughts are will you all on this horrible day. I'll love you forever Michael. :sad:

  31. Gracie says:

    Well, not much for me to add, everyone else said it all...just thank you Sabine for sharing your gift with us...you always find the perfect way to express what we i am feeling but cannot express. Michael is so much more than the sum of the facts and details of his life...all anyone needs to do is listen to find it.

    and extra thanks for this place, where we can gather and share in Michael's spirit. I am so grateful for you, the CCC, and all the lovely ladies who i have come to know as if you were right next door. What an amazing place, all because of Michael. :wub:

    God bless you angel :angel:

  32. MARIAKOURAKI says:

    Thank you Sabine and thank you all of you lovely ladies for your wonderful words.It's amazing how this beautiful man's soul connected us from all over the world,it's just his magic.Such a loving caring person with a big heart,a big hug and a big smile for everyone.I also have to thank you for being here in CCC with you and sharing with you my love and respect for this amazing man.RIP Michael I miss you so much

  33. Scarlett says:

    Hi Sabine - I hope you're doing well on this very sad day. I'm still gripped with a tremendous sense of grief (although I'm doing better right now than I was this morning and afternoon).

    It IS magical when a complete stranger can give voice to my feelings so much better than people I know. Today, on the one-year anniversary, your response carries a particular meaning to me, especially this part:

    Sabine:
    To me the people that look for inconsistencies don’t seem to understand that human beings are complex, multifaceted people, not just images or objects that you can slap a label on.Michael didn’t really have to tell us anything but he told us so much and I love him for his openness and his candor!!!!

    I completely agree that he shared his core with us more than he had to, and maybe even more than any other public figure ever did. What he chose to tell us really came from his heart. I also want to give you a million hugs for what you said about human beings being complex. It is so true especially when it comes to Michael. Without that complexity in emotions, he would not have been able to create such beautiful music or to truly understand and love the people he came across. As you have alluded to and others have commented, it's not only the media that is guilty of not understanding this. It makes me feel very sad and angry when I see fans doing the same thing after his passing - and the dissection of his words inevitably lead to certain judgmental comments about him. To me, they have completely lost the plot but I shall not dwell on this subject on a day like today.

    Thank you for posting your nephew's picture. He is gorgeous and lively, and reminds me of a young MJ...if only I were a bit younger, I just might hunt him down myself (joking). I wish him all the best in his artistic career.

  34. Sabine says:

    Hey ladies!

    Ahhh, my nephew would love to hear woman calling him gorgeous! Now is it me but doesn't he look like a young MJ?

    I mean, of course I see MJ everywhere!!!!!! He'd love to be hunted down by you, Scarlett -- he's 17 and his hormones are raging!!!!!

    I hope he will be very successful too. He lives in a very abusive home, as well. I've tried to do what i can to save him from the effects but you know he's going to be scarred :sad:

    Scarlett, I love your "

    Scarlett: As you have alluded to and others have commented, it’s not only the media that is guilty of not understanding this. It makes me feel very sad and angry when I see fans doing the same thing after his passing – and the dissection of his words inevitably lead to certain judgmental comments about him. . . . they have completely lost the plot"

    --- mhmmmm, yep, I agree!!!

    Cherry, wow -- thanks so much for sharing and being so open and candid! I love that kind of stuff and definitely, I could understand YOU and where' you're coming from -- such a bright young lady!

    MARIAKOURAKI, lovely, everything that you said, and I feel the same way!!!!

    Gracie, honey, you too, and Squiffy, thanks for commenting and letting us hear your voice.

    Kaija: Hey everyone. I’m new to commenting here,

    Welcome!!

    Kaija: although I have been reading and thoroughly enjoying this website for a while

    And you're just now saying something!!! :biggrin:

    .Kaija: I just want to say thank you and Amen, not only Sabine for posting such a beautiful and heartfelt understanding of Michael, but also to everyone who has shared their thoughts and feelings about him as well. It’s very refreshing to see at least a handful of fans who DO understand him and truly love him for who he was. I also want to thank you, Sabine, for setting up this website. It has given myself and certainly many, many other fans a way to connect to others who think and feel the same way about Michael.

    You're so welcome -- it has been a healing experience for me too!

    Kaija: but, this will sound cornball I’m sure, then I stumbled across this site. All of you guys here have made me smile on more than one occasion and you mave made it much easier to think about Michael and to reflect on this past year without him.

    Nope doesn't sound cornball at ALL -- we all need to be around likeminded people from time to time -- it's very validating and self-affirming! So thank you for letting me know I've accomplished my goal in creating a place like this for you and everyone and yes, for myself too!!!!!

    Kaija: So, I guess I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is a part of CobraCrack Central for giving me/us/the fans someone to relate to. I am very happy that I’ve found this little haven where I can really feel the way I do about Michael and be with people who get it and feel the same way.

    You are so welcome!!!

    Ingridje Hey girl, I hope you weathered the storm and made it through yesterday -- I was working, which is what I do when I'm stressed!

    Hey Liz! This is beautiful:

    Liz: It broke my heart that otherwise intelligent people so easily bought what was sold to them to define Michael, rather than studying the man and the music as the source of knowledge. Fans joke that there are two types of people, Michael Jackson fans and losers – but I agree. People who did not appreciate and try to understand Michael did lose out. They lost an opportunity to see love, generosity, humor, artistry, compassion, sensitivity, strength, perseverance, acceptance and so, so much more personified in the person Michael was and the life that he always tried to live. He wanted so much to have his own space and yet continued to smile and tell us, “I love you more,” each time he conceded that space for us. Thank you for what you wrote, and for understanding Michael in a world that profited by perpetuating an image the majority of the world was willing to accept

    Pcakes, OMG, AMEN!!!!

    Pcakes: My heart hurts how so many in the media continues to crucifiy this man in their so called acts of journalism. …and so many who was suppose to be close to him family, friends, associates, etc. “selling” there rememberences / tributes. Selling the pieces of him that they TOOK of him. The exploitantion of his children is beyond disgusting. Their grandparents, uncle, aunt, cousins selling pieces of MJ’s children that they TOOK for money. Could any of us imagined the unspeakable level of dysfunction, greed, narcisism, lack of accountablility, lack of shame and the lack of a moral compass this family would posess? Not I. It just continues to spiral downward.

  35. Sabine says:

    Thanks -- you can tell he sincerely loved Michael and I like the interviewer too, he didn't seem like he was just after a story and that he didn't care to know how this person felt.

    I loved when he said Michael was touched by God, because I truly believe he was.

  36. Shaz says:

    Still catching up...thanks for sharing your reflections in this piece, Sabine. Beautifully said, all of it.

    Reading this I kept thinking of Bless His Soul:

    I try to do what's right for me
    But no one sees the way I see
    And then I try to please them so
    But how far can this pleasing go
    ...
    Sometimes I cry ,cause I'm confused
    Is this a fact of being used
    There is no life for me at all
    'Cause I give myself at beck and call

    also Human Nature:
    Why, why does he do me that way?
    I like livin' this way, I like lovin' this way
    (I know he didn't write it, but he sure sang it like it meant something to him)

    and Xscape:
    Why is it I can't do whatever I want to?
    Went in my personal life and I don't live for you
    So don't you try to tell me what is right for me
    You be concerned about you,
    I can do what I want to

    He really did tell us so much in his songs... we just need to listen.

    p.s. thanks to Frodes to posting the letter to Tom Mesereau, and his response. Very nice.
    p.p.s. Sabine, your nephew is adorable, really. He does remind me of a young MJ...you can see that gentle spirit shining through his eyes. I'm glad he has you in his life.

  37. Sabine says:

    Hey Shaz, I haven't forgotten about you!!!!

    I still need to reply to your lovely comment on Break of Dawn, I'm just not going to rush it!

    I need to be able to sit down and do it justice!!!

    I love Bless His Soul, and you can hear Michael's voice ringing loudly, at least I can -- I know he wrote that song! And in the others too, as he said if he don't mean it, he won't sing it.

    God, I want to shout this from the roof tops:

    "He really did tell us so much in his songs… we just need to listen."

    My nephew would be so psyched! he's a real sweetheart so thank you on his behalf!!!!

  38. Shaz says:

    Oh Sabine, take your time, - no worries! I've still got quite a bit of reading to do in here. :-)

    I love Bless His Soul too. It's so Michael.

    And yes, send your nephew big hugs and kisses from the women of CCC!. :wink:

  39. Sabine says:

    He's gonna get such a big head!!!!! I enjoyed reading your comment, because you're not going to believe this, but after i write the chapters I sometimes forget what I've written!!!! :lol:

    It's nice to take a stroll down my memory! :smile:

  40. SenoraSabine says:

    Hey Candance,

    Now you got me wondering what you were going to say!!! :lol:

    I like hearing people's thoughts so don't be "shy" on my account! :tongue:

  41. isabellabresci says:

    He told us who he was and it's enough for me too ;)

    :blush:

  42. isabellabresci says:

    The photo of young Michael on this post is so intense... would you please send it to me, if you can ?

  43. SenoraSabine says:

    Sure thing Isabella -- I just have to get to the right computer :tongue:

  44. lovelivesforever says:

    ''Hear, Hear!''
    If only more bloggers did understand Michael or at least try to, this blogger world would be alot more civilised! Saying that, if more bloggers understood Michael what would they be able to blog about? Such bloggers i don't waste my time with, they annoy me with their lack of respect and appreciation for michael, lack of facts, and pure lack of...understanding.

    One of those times where Michael was suffocated by those that call themselves 'true mj fans' was Exeter (uk) It still annoys me today, that the 'space' that michael should of been given, the space you talk about in your blog, by the very fans that shout 'I love you MJ' he wasn't by those fans. Those fans should still be deeply ashamed of themselves today, the same has those who didn't give michael his space has you say in your blog, constantly sat outside his home, although michael said 'he loves his fans' i wonder if he meant all those that didn't give him his space when at home also. I wasn't there to personally see it happen in Exeter, it still annoys myself how selfish those fans was. (Although i have no right to speculate on what happened) however Michael forgave those fans or did he? Did he really forgive them?? Michael being the forgiving person he was i guess he probably did.

    I can relate like yourself and many fans out there with what you say. Michael's words and music are what got me through a hurtful teenage life, being a young adult i would rather just forget, if i think back it was has though Michael had been where i then was and so was helping me. When he sang 'Stranger in Moscow' i felt his loneliness, when he sang with Janet 'Scream' i felt his anger, his frustration, hurt. 'You are not alone' to me that was michael saying to me through his music, 'I am with you through it all, in your heart, holding your hand because i love you more' ... When he said the words ''Together we can make a change in this world'' I wholeheartly believe those words, giving to charities on the hope that change for others will happen. When i read Michael's books to my children i smile...michael's love living on, for some of us michael's books, music and words are all we needed to understand michael.

    and of course loving blogs such has yours
    Much love

  45. lovelivesforever says:

    My comment proves what you say in your blog is right, Michael never stopped giving! i wonder sometimes if he thought how he could help those fans that didn't for whatever reason get to see him in person, because he unknowingly helped me and i imagine he helped many others the same way also.

    Sometimes i sit wondering what is a true fan? What puts a line between who is a true fan and who isn't? Those who saw michael in person wheather that be concerts at signings or camping outside his home are they true fans, or those who loved michael from afar and chose or had no choice but to love michael from a distance?. Personally i feel The Jackson family has a whole since June 2009 have a new source of 'leeches' i had to stop myself becoming one of them. unknowingly i was turning into a MJ fan who was just adding anyone and everyone assosiated to michael to any account across the web i had, just for adding sake... Just because i could!

    When Tito's twitter account was given out across facebook awhile back i asked myself the question, ''What am i doing'? By adding The Jackson Family member/s am i not playing apart in suffocating them the same way those fans you describe in your blog did to michael'?! but why do we do it? Are we using the internet has a new means of not giving The Jackson Family and their friends the space and respecting their space on Twitter. Personally i did it has a means of showing support that is how it started way way back. but where does it end? I decided to send my love remind myself how Michael felt about privacy and his family, which led me to delete my accounts so has to not play apart of invading the space and privacy that michael should of been given and i believe the Jackson Family should be given across the internet...I think me doing that comes under respecting their space.

  46. SenoraSabine says:

    Have you seen the open letter the fans have written to the Jackson Family?

    personally, I don't even like the word fan, which comes from the word "fanatic". I don't even think in terms of real fan, fake fan. I simply admired Michael, and to me, when you admire a person you want to be more like the person is, and you already have some of the traits they do.

    So when I see someone acting un-Michael like, I know that they are pretending or worst, just plain obsessive..

    http://mjanwatch.wordpress.com/2011/09/03/an-open-letter-to-michael-jacksons-family/

    By the way, I don't agree with the fans telling the Jackson family what they should and shouldn't do. I think that is once again, crossing a boundary that they shouldn't; they have no right to do that.

    They can only say what they will do, and I think if they stop retweeting Tito, Randy and Jackie's tweet and hanging on their every word, the family will stop what they are doing. The Jackson family IMO, seems to crave the spot light and have no problem exploiting Michael or the children to do so, but Michael wanted to keep his personal life and professional lifeprivate.

  47. Silvie161263 says:

    Hello, Sabine! Thank you for these wonderful thoughts. It is sad that people don't understand Michael just because they just read things that journalists have copied from other journalists and believe that this must be the truth. They don't take time to go deeper.
    It is so easy to understand Michael just by reading his autobiography and the lyrics of his songs. To understand why he wanted to be among children instead of adults and why he wasn't really ready for a love relationship.. It is so easy to understand Michael, even though none of us has ever been in a similar situation. And with your article you made it once again clear! Silvie

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