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25 Oct 2011

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Future Post, GIFs Pictures, GIFs Pictures, Michael Jackson 88 Comments

I’ve mentioned before in the comment section and on different posts, when I wrote the first short story about Michael it was pure, delicious fun.  Other short stories followed because the response was so positive.  I had never read a fan fiction story in my life and truthfully, at the time, I  did not know what they were.  When I wrote the first chapter of Cowboy Mike, I was asked if I was going to continue the story and after writing the second chapter, I thought to myself, okay, I’ll do it.  But from the very beginning I knew that the only way I would continue to write the story was if I could address the many issues that I felt Michael faced during his life time, primarily the fact that he was objectified and used from the time that he was a child, first by his parents and siblings and then as he grew as an artist by the world at large.

There were other issues I wanted to address as well, his nebulous sexuality, the appalling invasion of his privacy and the inhuman labeling of him, being just a few.  I believe Michael, in addition to being an obviously artistically gifted human being, was also highly empathic.  By this I mean I believe Michael was extremely sensitive to the feelings of people around him.  Having my own personal history with this, I felt I could bring a unique perspective to Micheal’s story, a story so many people have attempted to tell in the past.  Central to my intention in writing the story was giving Michael, in fiction, the normality and love that had been robbed from him in life.

Being a creative person, both an artist and a writer, it was inevitable that CCC would come to be, first on blogger and then on its own site; there were just too many ideas that I wanted to incorporate into this project.  So, of course, I attracted a lot of attention.  People come in varying personalities so I attracted both the good and the bad.  I’ve spoken about this already, but there were many people who wanted to align themselves with me, not for what they could bring to this place, but for what they could get from me — popularity, ideas for their own sites and stories about Michael — who knows.    While I love to help and inspire I didn’t appreciate the usurious aspect of those alliances.

It should have been obvious to me, but really wasn’t at first, that of course I would attract in writing this story and creating CCC, the same types of personalities that Michael also attracted in his life time!  I hinted at this in Will the Real Michael Jackson Stand Up but what I am going to say now is not going to be popular, but it needs to be said.

Michael had the most loving, sensitive and devoted fans but he also attracted the  most insensitive, callous and obsessive people that I’ve ever observed.  In writing this story I’ve come in contact with both ends of the spectrum, and also those in between.   Michael had fans who saw past the show, the image and the performance to the man, the person and he also had fans who only saw the image, the performance and who REFUSED to see pass that.  I’m speaking of the people who thought Michael was perfect and could do no wrong; who refuse to acknowledge the many issues he obviously struggled with in life and the ones who see him mainly and specifically as a sex symbol.

People are who they are and you cannot change them.  Artists hope that they can.   Writers write to empower and influence, it’s true.  So in writing CBM, perhaps there was a subconscious wish that I would somehow reach those people and humanize Michael in their eyes.  I’m not sure if that was the case but it seems plausible.    So when I started to feel that my story about Michael was not being received as a story that humanizes him, but was being instead used as a story that further exploited him, making him into a sexual object without substance, I voiced my concerns and spoke again about my intention for the story.

 I wanted CCC to be an all inclusive space where many people could come together and discuss Michael, the man, not just the sex symbol, not the stand in lover that many wished he could have been, but the person, with all of his faults and issues and gifts and virtues.  I also expressed that I needed feedback to motivate me to continue writing, something that was consuming a lot of my time and for which I was not being paid a single penny.

The stories were made private and I decided only to invite those to read who shared my vision.  In doing so, it was clear that there were a few people who would pretend to share that vision just so they could read the story.  I knew they had no intention of giving feed back and would just say whatever they needed to get approved.  This is human nature, I suppose.  But again, like I’ve said,  I view this as just more of the same personalities that Michael attracted to him all his life, people who wanted something for nothing, and the irony of that is amazing to me.

Now after so many months I have to just say I’ve reached a point where I feel that I am giving so much more than I am receiving in this process.  To make matters worst, I sort of naively embarked on this journey not really realizing how much angst and hatred has been projected onto Michael all his life, and even after death and being exposed to that is starting to have a negative affect on me.

Writing the story involved and still  involves many hours of research.  During this research, I have become familiar with the viscous and relentless way that the press has attacked Michael Jackson all his life and continues, again, to do so after his death.   It is just heart-breaking.  In tangent with becoming familiar with the press, I have also become aware of a part of the public who has been spoon fed lies by the press and has now gone on to regurgitate the most vile and insensitive opinions about a man that they never knew and never met.   The rigidity with which these people hold onto their idea of who Michael was is appallingly disturbing, and I cannot fathom how Michael was able to exist while being the recipient of such hate.  Just being a witness to it affects me terribly and puts me in a state of mind that is not conducive to writing this story.   Though I hate to quote him, Rabbi Schmuley mentioned in a program last week that Michael, in the end,  felt so reviled by the public, and all I can say is of course he did.

Once again, I am going to make what might not a very popular statement, but this is my opinion:

The fans who view Michael primarily as a sex symbol and miss the depth of the man behind the pretty face act very similarly to the people who hate Michael and view him primarily as a weird freak.  The similarity is that both groups have assigned labels and attributes to Michael that have nothing to do with who he really was, though they borrow little snippets from his personality to give their idea of him validity.   Michael was sexy, and he was physically beautiful, but he was so much more than that, too.  Michael was weird, and may have done some things that most people might find strange, but that’s not who he was in totality either.  Making Michael into an object of consumption, whether it was in a “good” way or in a “bad” way is still objectification.

It makes me very sad that I’ve attracted a good many people who insist on seeing Michael in a rigid, single minded way; who are not open to viewing him from a different angle.  While the amount of hate directed towards Michael is reprehensible; the amount of obsessive love that left no room for a person to be a real, flawed human being is equally as reprehensible.  To my eyes, it is two sides of the same coin; a mirror reflection of one thing:  Dehumanization.

For this reason, I hope the people who can appreciate my stories will find them fun, sexy, but most of all realistic, and I hope more than anything, that the true meaning and message of the stories will someone how shine through as well. ~ Sabine

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88 Responses to “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall”

  1. isabellabresci says:

    Ok, then I will order them tonight and I hope not to have problems on the site...
    Yes, 2012 seem to be a turning point but it will be hard. The dawn starts but it is still very dark until the end of this year... that's what they say. The global situation is terrible from many points of view.
    Everybody is concentrated on economy now but we don't realize that this crisis floats on the huge global energy crises. Too much energy is needed to keep this system going and we don't seem to slow down our rate of making consuming and wasting of every kind. A good part of humans are waking up but it is not enough yet. Governments are unable to change laws Earth-wise. We are like a family who keeps watching tv while the house is burning...
    I love those Indignados in N.Y. who cleaned the park but police disperse them anyway... Italians are too laisy to do things like that :)))))
    I love movies too but I prefer to go to the cinema, is a reat treat and I forget about everything. At home is not the same thing but sometimes I still watch tv when I'm too tired to do anything else or when I'm sick or sad.. is my brainwashing machine ;) There are some good shows too, expecially on hystory channel and 3rd cultural channel

  2. Sabine says:

    I love going to the movies; that's where i watch most of my films. Then I buy my favorites on DVD but never watch them :lol:

    You're talkin about the Project Wall Street people in the park, now they can only stay during park hours; they can't camp out there any more.

    I like your analogy. The Earth will burn down before some people change!!!! :yes:

  3. aeternusmckellar says:

    You have summed up most of my thoughts in this. You are so right. Finally some has explained this. The thoughts in my mind couldn't really be explained when i said it to people but you have rightfully written them down. Thank you for bringing awareness to this because there's not only one side to things or people. It all differentiates on the situation or based on the surroundings. :)

  4. Sabine says:

    Thank you, aeternumsckellar for being able to hear me! It's always magical when that happens. :thankyou:

  5. nickiwatts says:

    Hello Sabine. Sorry its been a minute for me to comment, but here goes.

    I so hear you, I so understand what your trying to get across, Michael was a human being....just like you and me. Lots of people dont see that. Lots dont even see each other as human beings. Selfish and greedy seems to be the norm these days...but then there are the RARE ones like us who dare to be different. We see things and feel things others cant seem to understand. YOU have helped me see Michael in a different light, but without your time consuming research I wouldnt have stuck with you or this site. I see him the way you do, and Iv done massive amounts of research as well and Sabine you do Michael PROUD. There are ones of us who very much appreciate your time. As Iv wondered how Michael found so much time to do many things, good things, Iv wondered the same about you. YOU are amazing in what you do....and Im sure you carry that in your private life as well. Even if you stopped writting tomorrow...you know there are ones of us who would still stand beside you and have your back. Iv not only found a beautiful tribute to Michael in your site....but also a good friendship I will always cherish.

    You have given some of us the same thing Michael gave us....escapism . Just last week alone I worked 24 hours of overtime. I worked from 7am till 10:30pm this last Wednesday and what did I do when I got home....took a shower, got in bed and read a couple of chapters of CM and slept like a baby. A great way to wind down and relax. Im sooooooo glad Iv got the book !! I may not get on here and say it as much as I should...but you are so LOVED. Wish you were my neighbor....we would be the bestest of friends. We are connected, hope you feel that. " I see you " :blush: :writing: :reading: :wub: :whistle: :swoon: :cheerful:

  6. sept11984 says:

    Sabine,
    I guess I'm a little late noticing your post. I was thinking about your stories and that I hadn't seen an email update lately. I came by to check in and saw your comments.
    I read several fanfics and honestly feel like I'm getting an awful lot for free ... and wish I could express to you and the other writers what the stories have meant. I feel like I know Michael better as a result -- although they are fiction, it is obvious the amount of work and reaserch that goes into the writing.
    I guess I can really only comment and say thanks on a regular basis.
    I know I have told you before that I have experienced nearly every emotion imaginable with CBM and BBM -- the Michael you write about is truly complete and multi-dimensional ... it's a shame that readers can't appreciate the real Michael by experiencing him through your story.

    I'm glad to hear that you will be continuing the stories, they do effect many, perhaps more than you will ever know.

  7. Sabine says:

    Hi Sept! Hi Nicki :bye:

    I feel like it's an early Christmas!

    Sept, you've always express gratitude for the stories, at least I've always felt that. It's not quantity so much as it is quality in regards to comments -- just like parenting!!!!

    Nicki, your message has put such a smile on my face. "I see you" -- I remember that from Avatar, I thought it was the best way to communicate to another person. I wish I could have said that to Michael. Michael, I see you!!!!

    You're an amazing person, Nicki. I hope you know that. I'm so glad I got to meet your acquaintance through these stories!!!!

    :thankyou: for the beautiful comments you guys :kiss:

  8. ericabryant says:

    Forget the people who have decided, in their minds, that their image of Michael Jackson is right and exact. For one, he wasn't an object, he was a person and people are fluid. People change and adapt depending on their experiences and their environment. How you decide to display and express your vision of who Michael Jackson was, is your right. Allowing us to view it, is a privilege. Anyone who has a different view and feels compelled to spew criticism, can stop reading and exit the page, while holding tightly onto the box that they have shoved Michael Jackson's image into.

  9. Sabine says:

    Forget the people who have decided, in their minds, that their image of Michael Jackson is right and exact. For one, he wasn’t an object, he was a person and people are fluid. People change and adapt depending on their experiences and their environment. How you decide to display and express your vision of who Michael Jackson was, is your right. Allowing us to view it, is a privilege. Anyone who has a different view and feels compelled to spew criticism, can stop reading and exit the page, while holding tightly onto the box that they have shoved Michael Jackson’s image into.

    Erica! :wub: :thankyou: :kiss:

  10. crystalw says:

    :blush: Sabine sweetheart you are truly loved. I came across your site from a girl on a hair forum that I frequent, she recommended that if we had an open mind, that your stories were definately worth the read. And right she was, I consider myself an open minded person, and I've expressed numerous times in the past just how much I appreciate the time and effort you have put into the stories. I had a lot more time on my hands back then to chit chat and comment throughout the day when I was home with my baby, but now she is growing up and I went back to work fulltime as well as in graduate school fulltime, and I met my own Michael :cool: so I got so busy with life that I would come on here in spurts. I hope I didn't come across as reading and not giving back, because you are a true gem, and so are your creative stories. :blush:

    I enjoyed and missed the fellowship we have had here in our own little family, sharing thoughts and being transparent with one another under the same interest. I totally get what you are saying feeling like you give like MJ, but didn't get the same in return, or in return: hatred. I am sorry that people choose to spew their toxic poison under the guise of collectively coming together on your site for him, and in return you might get the opposite. :sad: I hope that the majority of us who have stood by you these past few years out weigh the weeds in the bunch. :yes:

    I never forgot you, and just like a true addict, the force has a hold on me. :w00t: I miss Sabah and MIchael, and your TTWC story as well. Thank you for being the giving person you are, and allowing us to be transparent with you. It is great and imperative that in this chaotic world that we all have an outlet to just get away and relax. For me this place is here, and that's why I just keep coming back.

    So to you madame, I bow to your creativity and tell you to continue writing! You have talent, and whether its 1 or 500 of us reading, one of us out here are eager to read your stories and continue to look forward to updates. :blush:

    I've rambled enough I think. :writing:

  11. Sabine says:

    Thank you for taking the time out to read this and also to reply. It's an unfortunate liability of the medium that I don't know what people think unless they tell me. I can't see faces or register any kind of reaction otherwise, and its starts to feel very lonely and isolated behind this computer screen if you're putting out a lot of time and energy and not receiving back.

    Yes, gotta say, there have been some ugly, ugly people I've encountered in this process (and one person in particular who doesn't seem to want to leave me alone) but I don't want to concentrate on those types any longer. Suffice it to say, it's a good thing they realize they are neither welcome or wanted in my house!!!!! :tongue: They have no room or part to play in my life. I want to think happy thoughts and create stories that make me happy, and if they make other people happy, too that's great; if not, they should move on and read elsewhere. I'm so over the number of readers I have or how many people are logging in, I'll take a handful of sincere, kind and honest people over 10,000 people pretending any day.

    I think of this place as a safe haven and for the most part it really has been. Though I miss the chatting and fun that seemed to be present in the beginning, especially when we moved on over to our own space, I don't miss the pretense, the he say/she say or the behind the scenes gossiping. I'd rather have blessed quiet than that.

    So any way, you're good to go again! Enjoy! :yes: :kissing:

  12. crystalw says:

    Oh wow, gossiping? :cwy: Well I had no idea. It's unfortunate when you are doing a good thing, most people never have your best interests at heart and want to drag you down.
    But you know what, you are right, since this is your home, and safe haven, then only positivity should reside here. I will continue to help you make it a place with great vibes, as it should be. :blush:

  13. Sabine says:

    :yes: Oh yes, gossiping and worst. Thanks for being so positive though! I love that! :w00t:

  14. honeygirljackson says:

    Sabine,

    I am so glad to see that you have published the stories into books. I apologize for being gone from the site for so very long. The email address that the updates from this site goes to is one that I don't use all of the time and I am lax in checking on it sometimes. But the other day I was thinking I hadn't seen an update from you in a very long time. I'm glad to see that you are still here and writing. It does my heart good. You have done such a beautiful job in "Seeing" Michael and making sure that came across in the stories. As I told you once before I am quite the procrastinator and I can't seem to bring myself to finish reading the story because I just don't want it to end. I know you continued it in Bad Boy Mike but for some reason I just have this thing about not wanting to get to the end of it. I know it is crazy but it is how I feel. I am going to buy the books and when i hold them in my hands I will manage to make it to the end I promise. I hope you decide to continue on and publish the Bad Boy Mike stories as well. If you do I will definitely purchase them. I know I haven't participated much in the discussions on this site but I hope you realize how much I appreciate all of you hard work and research to put these stories together. It is quite apparent with the end result. You can tell that they were written with much love for Michael always.

    Thank you for all of your hard work and love for Michael and I hope to see more books from you in the future.

    Love,
    HG

  15. Sabine says:

    You know, you're not the first person who said they don't want to finish the story! I devour books and then get upset that I read them so fast :lol:

    Thanks for the sweet comment :smile:
    The books are like my babies, I love them so much. THey really came out very well. :swoon:

  16. Louise Loader says:

    Sabine,You have explaied all this,in a way that not even i can explain! but it's what everybody thought and i appreciate you for saying it. Even as im writing this im not sure how to word it,but basicully i agree with everything you said completly,people do appear to be fake to try and get what they want,and that's how alot of people treated Michael,but i think after a while he caught on,which was what made him so hard to trust people. I can't believe how easy you wrote all that,and it made sense! Im just going to shut up now because i can't even explain what im saying,but im sure you understand what i mean :D Loving the stories,never stop writing! Oh! and i brought your books! Loved them,couldn't put them down all weekend! you made everything sound so real,like i was actually there! Loved it! <3

  17. Sabine says:

    Hi Louise! It feels so good to be understood so thanks for that!!! Did you spend all weekend reading!!! :reading" Ooooo, I love when that happens to me, nothing better than rain and a good book! Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and gosh, wait until you see the pictures! :swoon:

  18. Sissy says:

    Hi Sabine. .. It's been a while, as you know...I'm having a very filled time plan since the end of 2011 and therefore I won't log in that much in future, but I really miss those days when I came here a thousand times a day and spent many many hours here reading and reading.
    I don't know what exactly happened in between... but what I know is that you and me have a lot in common relating to our view about Michael (and this ain't a a..licking affectation, but you know very well, that from since day 1 when we communicated through mails etc we mostly had a similar view). Therefore I enjoyed your stories, because tey were so realistic to me and so familiar to my own view and imagination.
    Anyways, I hope to find more time in future to come here more often and escape into this loving world. I never was a big comment-maker (you know it), what all the thing I always wrote here came from my heart. I appreciate this announce and it's good to remind people all these hints! I so get what you mewn with those 'fans' it's so sad! But it has always been this way.
    Jesus christmus I have to catch up a lot. :w00t:

    Thumbs up for continuing oh and thumbs up for the lay out here! I see a lot of changings.
    Missed this place! :blush:

  19. Sabine says:

    Well, I have a special place in my heart for people who agree with me :lol:

    Just kidding! :kiss: Seriously, you and I have always saw things the same way and I appreciate having someone I can talk to who gets where I'm coming from. You have to treasure that kind of friendship because it doesn't come along often! Yes, I made a few changes and so I hope you get to enjoy it when you have the time. That's why I made this place, to share the love!!!!

    :happy: :reading:

  20. honeygirljackson says:

    Sabine,

    I just received my books and OMG they are gorgeous!!!! I can't wait to start reading!!! :reading: And so looking forward to your putting Bad Boy Mike into book form as well!!! :writing: Thank you so much for "seeing" Michael and giving him in these stories the life he should have been able to live. :wub:

    Love,
    HG :cheerful:

  21. Sabine says:

    You did! That's great! I'm so excited for you. I have copies propped up on my piano so I can glance at them through out the day! :lol:

  22. Rikki says:

    After reading this I see you are still going through difficulties with your story and the people who read them but now it isn't just haters its actually fans who have become just as bad as the haters. I understand fully what you are trying to say and in put into peoples minds with this. That Michael was a red-blooded air breathing human being. I can see that in your story that is all you are trying to protray him as. But many fans do have a hero complex about him. I feel no matter how much time you spending reading books or researching no one will ever be able to show who the real MJ was. No one knows and no one will ever know because we will never be able to hear from the man himself about who he really is and what he really feels and thinks. Your story is one of the few I feel come the closet to show MJ as a real common human being. I hope that you can soon continue ur story if you still want to that is. Its a fantastic story. I apologize if I have done anything to make you feel like the work you put into your story isnt appreciate or I don't deserve to read it anymore. I understand.

  23. Sabine says:

    :bye: Hi again, Ricki!

    Believe me, it is not personal. My feelings, about this site and the stories have changed over time from a lot of fun and excitement to a satisfaction, tinged with a sort of sadness.

    There have been the negative people on both the fans/haters side, and they all share a horrible intolerance for different points of views and a sense of entitlement! Haters act like someone owes it to them to argue with them or explain to them when I really don't want anything to do with it!

    I think you're absolutely right that no one will ever "know" Michael fully, and so there's really no room, in my opinion for know it all fans or haters. When people start insisting that their opinions are facts or that the way they see things is the only way, it is just a drag, IMO ,especially when you're talking about a human being! Human beings are so multi-faceted.

    Of course I'm not talking about someone making up blatant lies about a person, like haters do about Michael -- there's not point in talking to them. I sure don't want to! But it's sad that some MJ fans want to argue and fight about their opinions about Michael, but if someone else is attacked on his behalf, they say nothing. I'm not expecting any MJ fan to fight my battles for me, mind you, but the silence on the fact that I am being attacked on behalf of Michael is disturbing, especially when I'm being asked to produce.

    It's sort of like, you know, someone getting beat up on behalf of a person, let's call him Bob, and while they're being kicked and slapped, another friend comes up, makes no mention of the hitting but says, hey, did you get a chance to write that essay about what a great guy Bob is? I can't wait to read it. :w00t:

    I feel like I'm expected to get beat up for Michael AND write about him, too, with no support or a kind word that says, good job or I'm sorry this is happening to you :sad:

    There is a feeling of entitlement that I get as if I "owe" it to people to do this, as if it's not a gift (which it is) . Some people really don't feel the need or have any desire to do/give anything in return for all the hard work, time, energy and money that has gone into making this site and writing the stories; that's not been fun to experience.

    You'd like to be appreciated when you do something and in this medium, I can only know that I'm appreciated if someone says so :smile: (even if someone buys a book, I won't know unless they tell me)

    So I've been in a funk about the stories and this place, really about the whole "fandom" world and trying to get out of it but not having much luck.

    Well, anyway, I won't go on and on; I accept your apology, thanks for extending it, it means a lot.

    :thankyou:

  24. Rikki says:

    I understand what your saying. Its sad that something that is meant at least to me is to be an outlet for the pain and lost of MJ is causing such a big pain for you. I feel that alot of fanfiction is used as a way to cope with the pain of the lost of MJ. Not just for the readers but the writers themselves. I feel that the writers of these stories are really put they're hearts out there for all to see because its your emotion and feelings your putting through your writing. So for someone to try to fight with you about it is crazy. I see the stories as a very generous and beautiful thing its suppose to be fun and uplifting it shouldn't be causing all these problems. So I understand why you are and would be so upset. Its wrong but its something as human beings on this earth we have to deal with. Most of the time its something we can't get away from but in this case you can. If you choose not to continue your story it will be sad becasue thats not fair for you to stop doing something you enjoy because of the negativity of others but if you feel it is neccessary than its left up to you. Especially if you feel your not getting the support you deserve. It is sad that something like that would be going on and everyone is silent. I read a story about this exact type of problem. Its by Elie Wiesel its called Night. Heres a quote.

    "Neutrality helps the opressor , never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."- Elie Wiesel

    Also your welcome.

  25. Sabine says:

    Again, honestly, thanks for understanding, it means so much. I'm not so much upset as I am -- what's the right word...annoyed?

    :pouty:

    I don't know, it gets to me. I love to write and will always write; it's cathartic and fun, a great release and like Michael would say, great escapism, and I think when I feel more positive and inspired, I will continue the story, but I don't know if I will put it online, I have to be honest.

    We'll see. I enjoyed sharing the story very much, and I enjoy conversing with the many sweet people who have commented (including yourself) that is/was fun -- the rest, not so much. And I want to say when I talk about the MJ fans who said nothing about my being harassed/attacked, I'm talking about those fans who were present during the harassment and know of it -- not necessarily anyone having to do with this site. Especially knowing that for Michael, they will talk a really good talk, as if they are really for human rights and against people being bullied, etc.

    I'm proud that I've always kept CCC a neutral, safe place from ugliness and I've not just done that for Michael, but for myself and everyone who visits here. Michael was amazing, a really special person, but so are we all, in our own ways and we are all deserving of respect and kindness.

    I will not name names, but a very popular site which defends Michael actual addressed the attacking and even though many people were and still are being attacked on the site they mentioned, they demanded apologies ONLY for themselves as if no one else mattered. I was left thinking WOW. :sad:

    You know, I read Elie Wiesel's "Night" but I didn't remember that quote. Thanks for sharing it! I read it three times to really let the meaning sink, and then I realized he's talking about what really bothers me and always has and that you do get what I mean.

    Rikki:"Especially if you feel your not getting the support you deserve. It is sad that something like that would be going on and everyone is silent."

    Apathy. I've always disliked apathy. The holocaust is one of the biggest examples of the high cost of apathy. It bothers me that for human beings some times it has to get that bad and it has to personally affect them before they bother to care that others are being hurt.

    Boy, isn't that what happened with Michael?

    I'm sure you've read this quote by Martin Niemöller.

    When the Nazis came for the communists,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a communist.

    When they locked up the social democrats,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a social democrat.

    When they came for the trade unionists,
    I did not speak out;
    I was not a trade unionist.

    When they came for the Jews,
    I remained silent;
    I wasn't a Jew.

    When they came for me,
    there was no one left to speak out.

    I suppose the people who witnessed and said nothing figured that they were not "me" so didn't need to say anything; or they didn't want to get "involved" or maybe I just didn't matter. Well, I hope if they ever do experience this, someone around will be kind enough to acknowledge their humanity. (which is by the way what you're doing for me, so again, thanks.)

    :kiss:

    In a conversation on another site someone said that they feel Michael, all of his life, just wanted people to acknowledge his pain. I agree, that's a central need of all human beings, to have their feelings acknowledged.

  26. Rikki says:

    Yea apathy is just one of the many things wrong with our world today. I try my best to always speak out when necessary not just for bullying but for anything really. I realized people are sometimes silent out of fear and not fitting in and sometimes out of pure selfishness. I do believe that everything you do as a person as a consequence so for those who were silent they will learn from their mistakes. As for the holocaust I personally learn so much from going into the history of that tragic time I feel everytime I learn something new and it just makes me want to be better as a person. When I read the "Night" it had never came to me that while all that evilness was going on no one said anything to stop it. I don't know it just was never was something I thought of and when I read it I realized how that is just so true. I hope you get your inspiration back and can move past this. Also your welcome, again.

  27. Sabine says:

    I know that some people are scared to speak up, and in some ways they should be, because evil people who like to abuse others are always looking for victims. I wish more people understood though that if everyone spoke up, they'd be outnumbered and then they'd have to back down. So every voice counts and the more the better but people have to be smart. Speaking up can mean hitting that "report" or "abuse" button in a forum, or sending out a word of encouragement to the victim. It doesn't mean confronting the bully and saying stop, that's not always wise.

    Imagine if all the people who stood by silently and watched Michael get bullied by the media, lied on and attacked said, this is disgusting, and complained. If they said in letters, I will not buy your publications or watch your programs if you continue.

    Money talks like nothing else. They would have stopped.

    I think I will get my inspiration back. Actually conversations like this helps a lot. In the meantime, I'm happy that the stories continue to give some people pleasure and a place to come to, to escape. By the way, you should be okay now!!! :w00t: :reading:

  28. Rikki says:

    Omg! I tottally agree. If less people gave into the lies and garbage of the media about Michael and more spoke out about how heartless and cruel it really was and still sometimes is. The media out put about him would have been way more positive. Same goes for bullying bullies only have as much power as you allow them too. If people stood up for others bullies wouldn't even be a big problem in our schools and world. Idk nobody likes to be outcased I guess. I can only pray that it gets better as time progresses. I'm sure as long as you keep looking forward and slowly get pass this your inspiration will come. Also thank you again for giving me access.

  29. Sabine says:

    You're very welcome! :caress:

  30. mjquandavis says:

    wow, i dont know, and still dont have the slightess clue whats going on, i must been living under a rock. and now im catching up, i kinda feel like someone whos been unknowingly thrown into a battle with no weapons. and maybe i dont visit too many websites so im kinda left outon whats going on, is it here? because this is the only mj website i go to secretly, but like i mentioned earlier im not really verbal, but im definitely not afraid to stand up, i hate whats going on and i feel tremendous sorrow for you because its not only affecting you, but its affecting the rest of us who really do mean well, even though i kinda really dont know whats going on. its all so frustrating. :wacko: but now that i know something fishy is going on, i will try my best to stay alert and keep my eyes open *throws on badge*

  31. Sabine says:

    It's not something you would know unless I told you! THink of it like when your good, good, goooooooood friend confesses that her boyfriend has been cheating, or her Mom hits her. You just open your arms, and give her a big hug.

    Now if you SEE the boyfriend with another girl AFTER she tells you or you're there when her mom tries to lay one on her, that's TOTALLY DIFFERENET!

    Basically, I'm not expecting anyone to do anything but offer understanding and kindness. But it's funny, at the place where it was happening, one MJ fan said to a person who pointed out that none of the MJ fans had said or done anything, she said, keep in mind some of us are not here when it's happening.

    :lol:

    THAT was her reaction, reading it, to say, well I wasn't here. :pinch:

    And then in the next breath, justice for Michael! :biggrin:

  32. ameloushamonee says:

    seems like I haven´t been here since the trial in November...I can´t believe that there really are fans who only are interested in seeing Michael as a Sexobject. That is truly sad and not incomprehensible to me!!! :(
    I totally see your point. The reason I haven´t been here since the CM Trial is, that I didn´t feel like reading the stories. I have to be in a good and happy mood, to read it and throughout and after the trial I naturally haven´t been in this mood. Just a few weeks ago I started reading CM again because I felt okay with it.
    I´ve also met fans, who aren´t that interested in dealing with his personality and discovering his beautiful soul. Some only listen to his music, which is okay. But many fans here in germany, can´t understand the english language, which makes it almost impossible to understand him in any way. Which is really sad.
    But I never came across people, who were only interested in talking about his sexiness...of course this is an undeniable fact to us, too but to reduce him to that...man, that is crazy. How can this be? I am sorry for those who act that way. Shallowness! This man had so much more to give. Becaus to me, Michael means so much more and had to live such a turbulent life, it doesn´t get into my mind, why some so called fans still can´t see that or don´t want to see that. But maybe that is some sort of lack of mental horizon :S
    I was wondering, why you didn´t came up with any more chapters but I didn´t ask because I thought you had your reasons. And now I know and I totally understand and am happy that you shared your thoughts with us.
    Please be sure, that I am not one of those. ♥
    I think I said this before: I thought those lovescenes were absolutely amazing and inspiring BUT what is much more important was the whole story around it. Those many details regarding his life and analizing his problems, describing their wonderful and excitingly evolving relationship, it helped me a lot understanding him better and comprehend the one or the other of his actions. And if you´d decide to strike the lovescenes that would be fine as well. It is the way you write and the love for the details you put into your stories, paying attention to most of the known issues he dealt with or experienced that keeps the reader attached to it. We feel like we have been there with him. thanks to you!
    I can imagine, that you must be disappointed by those who showed that kind of poor behaviour. After so much work and love and time you put into all this!!!
    I am looking forward to reading more of your beautiful stories and hope that the people you spoke about don´t bother and annoy you anymore.
    Sorry, for not beeing here for a loooooong time.
    LOVE

  33. ameloushamonee says:

    nickiwatts:
    Hello Sabine. Sorry its been a minute for me to comment, but here goes.

    I so hear you, I so understand what your trying to get across, Michael was a human being....just like you and me. Lots of people dont see that. Lots dont even see each other as human beings. Selfish and greedy seems to be the norm these days...but then there are the RARE ones like us who dare to be different. We see things and feel things others cant seem to understand. YOU have helped me see Michael in a different light, but without your time consuming research I wouldnt have stuck with you or this site. I see him the way you do, and Iv done massive amounts of research as well and Sabine you do Michael PROUD. There are ones of us who very much appreciate your time. As Iv wondered how Michael found so much time to do many things, good things, Iv wondered the same about you. YOU are amazing in what you do....and Im sure you carry that in your private life as well.Even if you stopped writting tomorrow...you know there are ones of us who would still stand beside you and have your back. Iv not only found a beautiful tribute to Michael in your site....but also a good friendship I will always cherish.

    You have given some of us the same thing Michael gave us....escapism . Just last week alone I worked 24 hours of overtime. I worked from 7am till 10:30pm this last Wednesday and what did I do when I got home....took a shower, got in bed and read a couple of chapters of CM and slept like a baby. A great way to wind down and relax. Im sooooooo glad Iv got the book !!I may not get on here and say it as much as I should...but you are so LOVED. Wish you were my neighbor....we would be the bestest of friends. We are connected, hope you feel that. " I see you "

    WORD!!! Wellsaid!!! :)

  34. Sabine says:

    Aww, shucks Amelie, don't worry about not being here. I don't expect people to come here every day or in any time frame.

    I can't wait for me to be able to write this story again, I really want to finish it!!!!! But I'm like you, I have to be in a good and happy mood to write it!

    :pinch:

    It's interesting to hear your thoughts, since you are in Germany, and I often wonder if it's different here in the States, or if the internet is changing my opinion about MJ fans for the worst :lol:

    Maybe it's the MJ fans online in the forums that I've been that focus so much on Michael's sex appeal that make me feel that there are so many fans objectifying Michael, but then again, to be honest, it's not just the objectification -- I've observed other fans, who just want to see him only in one rigid way, and refuse to open themselves up to his humanity.

    I actually wrote about that, but I didn't put that article on here. I called it the Wonderful, Wacky World of Michael Jackson :yes:

  35. pithundermj says:

    Hi Sabine. Just dropping by to say hello. :bye:

  36. Sabine says:

    Hi Pit! So nice to "see" you :smile: :yes:

  37. Jaz says:

    Hi Sabine, I guess I am late to your site and all the problem you have had. I do not know everything that has happened to you here I just ended up clicking this link. :yes:
    That seems to happen to me a lot.

    I don't think I could say anything to make you feel better, but I love your site. I have heard so much about it but could never get here. I hope you continue to write, not for my sake as much as I would love to read your stories, but for your own. Expression is freedom. I hope you get that back.

  38. Sabine says:

    Thanks, Jaz, for the support. It really means a lot. Sometimes all a person needs to hear is a kind or supportive word to help through a trying time. It may not seem like much, but to the person who is stressed it really can be the difference between feeling up or down.

    I wrote the stories really for me, but I shared them with others to share the joy and escapism. So I really only want to share the stories with those who I feel can appreciate them.

    Enjoy : )

    :reading:

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“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a . . man.”

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