Michael, the Individual
Thank you Michael, for being an individual. This article isn’t really about Michael, but it is about CCC, and as a matter of fact, I’m not even going to write most of it. I’m just going to quote another article that I read that says it better. Yesterday, I “lost” a “follower”, my first, I think — I’m actually fine with that. When I banned a member a few weeks ago, she went out shopping for alliances. I had already seen what I viewed as a clique forming. I didn’t like it. What does cliques have to do with CCC, with Michael?
Well, the media that persecuted Michael was a clique.
The judicial system that falsely accused him and tried to sentence him to life in prison was a clique.
The people who MJ fans often refer to as “haterz” follow clique mentality.
I’ve seen MJ fans who also operate as a clique.
I never allow anyone to tell me what to think, who to be friends with or where I should frequent. I make my own decisions. I don’t require people to agree with me for me to like them. Nor do I require people to like me but I don’t believe in associating with people who are pretending to be friendly towards me when they really don’t care for me at all.
How do people show you that they don’t like you?
Lack of respect, lack of regard, gossiping about you, trying to show you up or put you down.
Maybe some members just like my stories? Do they have to like me personally to read my stories? Well, I’m sharing and not selling. To share, I require a positive environment.
I like people who think on their feet; who challenge me to think outside of my own box. I like innovators and trendsetters and those who won’t cow-tie to society’s dictations. I like people who are not afraid to ask themselves the hard questions.
I LIKE the fact that Michael said to HELL with what everyone thinks, I love children and I will continue to help them until the day I die.
I don’t like cliques. Why?
Cliques Retard Growth
By Kirsten Anderberg (www.kirstenanderberg.com)
Written Dec. 18, 2006
“Back in the 1970’s as a homeless teen, I was on a Greyhound bus that stopped in Portland, Or. On the side of a building next to the bus depot, these words were painted on the side of a building, with letters that were 5 feet high each read: “CLIQUES RETARD GROWTH.” I was so impressed with it that I even took a picture of it that I still have somewhere. I have remembered that line for decades, feeling it is so very true. Cliques *DO* retard growth, and that is what this article is about.
I have never liked mob mentality. I tend to veer away from it, whether it be in the form of “democracy” (mob rule with no protection for the minority) or trendy little cliques. In high school, petty cliques pervaded our every move. There were the cheerleaders and jocks, the lowriders (I am from Los Angeles), the surfers, the stoners, the drama/music geeks, et al. And I remember my discomfort with moving between these cliques.
Cliques act as though you are either with them or against them. Like G.W. Bush. When I first came to high school, after skipping the 8th grade, I hung out with what seems now like the lowest common denominator. I was trying to be “cool,” while being a violin-playing, academic overachiever. I hung out with “stoners” until I could not stand the lack of intellectual stimulation therein. I remember feeling I needed to change cliques, which sounds funny, but we’ve all been through it. As I looked around, discontent with stoner friends, I remember shopping around for cliques. I come from a performing family, and played violin in the school orchestra and had vocal solos in all the school musicals, but honestly, the drama geek thing never jived with me. The drama/music folks were more creative and intellectually stimulating than the “stoners” but they were a little too nerdy for my comfort levels. I did bond with some folks in the drama/music dept., but on the whole, those really were not “my” people.
I finally did find “my people” in high school and those folks remain close friends to date, 30 years later. But even though I found a group of smart, freethinking friends I became close with, by my junior year, I somehow branched out more socially, and went through some strange allegiance issues. “My people” were primarily the leftist politics and alternative culture folks, but somehow
I became friends with cheerleaders and jocks. Close friends. And my alternative culture friends got pretty pissy, even mean, when I began hanging out with cheerleaders. I’d say this is when I began to see *how* cliques retard growth.
I did not succumb to the peer pressures of cliques in high school. I hung out with drama geeks, cheerleaders, academic overachievers, and stoners and was high school sweethearts with one of the only black students present at our school. I am glad I did not let clique mentality constrict my experiences in my youth.
“When you get to be our age, you all of a sudden realize you are being ruled by people you went to high school with. You all of a sudden catch on that life is nothing BUT high school. You make a fool of yourself in high school, then go to college to learn how you should have acted in high school, then you get into real life and that turns out to be high school again – class officers, cheerleaders, and all.” – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
In my adult life, I see the macrocosm of the high school clique microcosm. I see people huddled in cliques, cliques that require gang-like allegiance and cliques that create oppressive environments for their own members. Cliques of fashion, cliques of trends, cliques of money, cliques of friends…Cliques retard growth and cliques have been shown to be a destructive force on everything from anarchy to feminism, hippie culture, and even special interest groups like Green Cross. I am not sure what creates clique mentality, but I do know it has undermined solidarity within the anarchy, prisoner rights, and environmental defense communities, as well as other activist circles.
Hippies get mad at my anarchist tendencies. Anarchists get angry at my feminist leanings. The feminists are angered by my class politics…I learned long ago that you cannot please everyone
and that one clique is too restrictive for my character. And it appears the alternative to clique mentality is individualism. I would prefer to be an independent agent, moving freely where my interests lead me, than to restrict myself to one prescribed clique and its agenda. And I have yet to find one clique that encompasses all of my beliefs, interests, and goals.
I saw an Oprah show recently about women “coming into their own.” The show talked about getting to a point in your life where you can trust *yourself.* I’d almost argue that confidence in your own intuition is the antidote to cliques. I see cliques as being far more destructive than constructive.
So, what cliques are you part of and why?
Does your clique restrict you in any way for membership?
What is your positionality in your clique?
What is your clique’s hierarchy structure?
What do you sacrifice for your clique?
What would happen if you quit clique mentality and stood on your own two feet, following your own drummer?
How would your life change?
The freedom to think for yourself is priceless. Not having to wait for clique approval is invaluable. Trusting yourself is a genuine freedom. Cliques Retard Growth.”
This is so true… It hit every mark right on the dot!!!
Hey Chris!
I’m glad you agree :smile:
But you know what? I’d still think you’re crazy cool, even if we didn’t agree :wink:
Hi! This is my first comment on this website! Never really get a chance 2 comment on anything nowadayz becuz of high school! I totally love this becuz its true! I’m a freshman (probably the youngest person on here but I’m mature lol) and I hav 2 deal with cliques everyday!!! Now I go 2 a very ghetto skool in dallas and itz seperated very distictively! There’s the murphy kids (some say I’m apart of but I don’t believe becuz I’m broke) who r the rich snobby kids …then there’s the bowmans were most of all tha bad kids and stoners come from and same for clark. And other than them u hav tha black group! All the black kids together but travel in small packs and there’s the mexicans who alwayz know each other! Of course the weird kids and smart kids and then there’s me. I lyk 2 travel….I’m friends wit that smart ppl becuz they help me with everythin and then the weird ones when I need a gud wtf moment and then tha jocks wen I wanna tlk sports and laugh and the cheerleaders/drill team girls when I wanna do hair or makeup wen lazy and the stoners….well you know lol jk but this article is so me… I don’t do nuthin that ain’t me… I do me!…no one else!
Hey Jamma! Welcome! I’m glad you love it! :wub:
Your comment reminds me of a scene in Clueless — I don’t know if you’re ever seen that movie but it’s my favorite. Anyway she’s walking through the courtyard of her high school and pointing out all the cliques. Of course she has her own clique, the rich one, but she IS clueless
:smile:
In that movie they try to make Brittney Murphy, the new girl into one of them but she decides by the end of the movie that she’s okay the way she is. So I’m glad to hear you say that you do you and no one else, especially at the age you are! Go on w/ your bad self! :kissing:
Cause girl, you’re gonna find all through life people are going to be trying to recruit you into their “group”!!! It really never stops.
It would be one thing if they sent you an invitation, like they do in college for fraternities. But it doesn’t even work like that. It works like this:
We lovvvvve you when you agree with us, and as soon as you have an independent thought well all of a sudden we try and treat you like there’s something really wrong with you cause you don’t think like “us” (that’s to try to shame you into getting back to thinking right) or we punish you by ostracizing you; rolling our eyes at you in the hallway, not sitting w/ you at lunch; not speaking to you anymore when we used to be all up in your face before. And of course it feels yucky to be on the receiving end of that crap, because it’s really negative and passive/aggressive.
People will tell you, no, I’m not in a clique those are just my friends but if they do what I just said above, you better believe they’ve got that clique mentality.
So I applaud you getting it at such an early age. I love how you already know you what you can get from all different kinds of people!!! You can learn a lot from people from all different walks of life, especially the ones that you don’t agree with. Now I sound like I’m preaching but it’s really really true.
Look at Michael! He was the ultimate individual. The world did their best to tell him who he was and he shouted back, I know who I am damn it! They tried to ostracize him, calling him a freak and every thing they could think of. The Jehovah Witness did it when he wouldn’t dance the way they wanted him to. Then the world did it, when he didn’t act like the way they thought was “appropriate”. They tried to make him “weird” ’cause he didn’t fit in with the norm, and he just kept on being himself no matter what.
And in the end he got to experience what all true individuals have already figured out, when you are true to yourself, then people will follow YOU!!!
That’s how Michael created trends and styles and new genres where none existed all of his life, by being true to himself.
Hi Sabine! You know I agree w/ this article 100%. That follower you “lost” . . . . . . looks like someone got caught being a hypocrite redhanded and couldn’t deal with being called on it. good riddens. If i’m right I think you’ve got five or six more followers since sso no loss on your part. My advice: you’re not being paid for this. you are doing this out of love and if someone is pretending to be loving towards you when that is not in their heart then they are not your friend and have no place here. let them go somewhere else. :wub: :heart: :wub: :heart: :wub:
Hey Nuje again. :tongue: Why are you up so late — it’s 1:05 a.m. here!!! Now why am I not surprised that you like this article? :pinch:
I read and answered you on the other thread so I won’t talk more about the “lost” follower but you’re not getting any disagreements from me. :smile:
It’s true, I am sharing out of love, and I think you’re right that someone who is pretending to be loving towards me/this place has no place here. You’re absolutely right about that. :wub:
I never understood why people pretend anyway. oh, by the way, we do need a smh smiley, and a shrugs smiley too!!! :tongue:
Hahaha thankz! I do wat I do lol :cool: but I do get judged 4 it..it sukz…lyk 2 the black group I’m not “black enough” and I’m black! I dress different and tlk different doesn’t mean I’m tryin 2 b someone else! They make fun of wat I wear but I kno they r jus jealous of me but idk y! :ermm: jus becuz my bestfriend is white they think I dnt lyk hangin wit them..she’s actz real black though but still I ignore it but ppl admire me for bein different! I get voted best dress and most talented wen it comes 2 my art work and apparently I’m a comedian and get told that I make pplz day better wen they c me :biggrin: :heart: I admire michael for that 2 he’s different jus lyk myself he dressed and tlkd different which makez us unique 2 weird 2 others but as I said b4 we jus do us lol
Sounds to me like they’re just insecure — which is normal I guess when you’re young, even normal for adults. We all have insecurities.
The messed up part is when you go around projecting that crap onto other people and telling them who they should be friends with, how they should dress, or wear their hair, how they should talk or what they should think, and people who are insecure sometimes do that crap.
And like I was saying, they don’t say it by saying it. They don’t say, You should talk different; you shouldn’t think like that. They say, Ewwwwww, why do you talk LIKE THAT? Is THAT what you think? OMG! LIke you’re an alien or something, instead of trying to understand where you’re coming from.
Same difference.
Well, there you go, you’re being admired for the guts to be different!!!! So you’re an artist — artists are way cool in my book!!!!! :heart:
Haha yea I do a lot of drawingz and paintingz…I did one of mj and it came out awesome..he’s usually my inspiration wen I draw… I won’t show something unless I lyk it no one else so wen tha teacher asks me to add somethin and I kno I lyk it the way it is…I won’t do it lol its my work I made it so I kno how it goes not u! I definaley think lyk him in that field and chewin gum 24/7 haha :tongue: :heart:
OOoo, I wanna see it. I love drawings and paintings of Michael. My son is in art school and has the same problem, he doesn’t want to draw on command and won’ show something if he doesn’t feel comfortable. As a writer I feel him. I don’t like no one messing with my stuff either!!! :pinch:
But sometimes it’s good to let the ones with more experience give you advice, you can learn a lot, but you don’t have to like it :lol: :tongue:
My computerz messed up ugh! :sad: :angry: but if I cud I wud but it won’t let me send pictures… so weird… but I do listen it jus as soon I see a great picture and stop.. of course jus lyk mike I’m never realllyy satisfide…but I think itz good enough but nothin can be that visible that random ppl can point of mistakes… jus how I am wen I draw! Plus my art teacher is goes crazy bcuz of us! No one except a few kidz and me actually listen to a word she says! They break everything she buys for tha room and never do the work and it makes me luk lyk a teachers pet and an overacheiver which I don’t believe I am but I love art! Another hater bringer rite there!…
Sounds liked you’re very passionate about art! That’s what matters, not what anyone else thinks. As long as your creative expression brings you pleasure and it’s coming from a real and solid place that’s all that matters. I think a good teacher can spot the ones who are serious and the ones who are just foolin’ around. :wink:
:biggrin: Aaaaaaawwww the teacher told me she was proud of me today! :wub: awesome! I wonder if mike waz told that a lot lyk in the Bad video haha I lyk the feelin afterwardz he shud hav been told that every hour of the day bcuz hez done so much 2 b proud of…HELLO BIGGEST SELLIN AFRICAN AMERICAN ARTIST EVER…NOOO SCRATCH THAT BIGGEST SELLING ARTIST EVER!! U can’t get more proud than that! Ur music changed ppls lives and ppl will always (hopefully) remember him for that! That would be amazin accomplishment and being increeeeedddaabbbllleellllyyyy hot does help! Lol :w00t: :wink: me and my friend were arguin abt who waz hiz wife the whole class period!! She waz lyk I jus marry him and take the money! I waz ok well I jus keep him and his fine behind I don’t need the money! Lol
Great article!! Lately I’ve been thinking about and reconsindering my friendships quite a lot and those questions at the end are really helpful so thanks!! :heart:
I’m glad you liked it Cherry!!!!
I think those are important questions to ask ourselves from time to time, no matter how old we are, especially if we’re making friends on line!!!!!! :w00t: