Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room

Step Right up and Grab a Drink Before You Get Your Hit. Don’t see what you want? You can look at all the drinks on the menu individually — just click on the picture!
[itk-eticker]INTRODUCING THE dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA![/itk-eticker]
Have an Idea for a new drink? Please leave a comment and we’ll see about putting it on the menu!!!!
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A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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MJ
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Bad Boy Shot
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Ms. Chastity
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Chocolate Mike
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Liquid CobraCrack™
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Creamy Mike
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Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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DDD, also served by the bottle
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Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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Holoma’s Soup
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Holoma’s Soup
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L.O.V.E. Shot
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Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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Mikegasm
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Minty Mike
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Mr. M & Mrs. M
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Royale
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Prince Michael’s Pure
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Sangre
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The Force
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The Foreplay
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The Gentleman
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The Thriller
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Thug Passion
- A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
- MJ
- Bad Boy Shot
- Ms. Chastity
- Chocolate Mike
- Liquid CobraCrack™
- Creamy Mike
- Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
- Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
- Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
- Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
- DDD, also served by the bottle
- Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
- Holoma’s Soup
- Holoma’s Soup
- L.O.V.E. Shot
- Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
- Mikegasm
- Minty Mike
- Mr. M & Mrs. M
- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
- Prince Royale
- Prince Michael’s Pure
- Sangre
- The Force
- The Foreplay
- The Gentleman
- The Thriller
- Thug Passion
Sorry about this, but please just give security your I.D. – we don’t want no trouble.

Okay now that you’re in, Look our Bar Room. :silly: :cheerful: Annie Decorated it and I think she’s done a FABULOUS job!!!!! Thanks Annie!!!!
After, if you are still walking, talking and coherent you might want to stop by our gift shop!!!!
N O W S E R V I N G :
Hey there handsome, excuse me for a minute I’ll be right with ya’ 
MENU LIST:
N E W ON THE M E N U!:

DDD, also served by the bottle

Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
INTRODUCING The dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA: Some of you addicts have been pretending. And it’s really not necessary. When you come into the bar, have a seat. Your drink has already been prepared. We’ll even serve you the bottle. After all, it’s got your name on it. :yes: :alien:
Warning: Do NOT Mix this drink with Bad Boy Shots. We’ve heard some stories, let me tell ya!

Bad Boy Shot
THE BAD BOY SHOT: Let’s face it, you’re not a good girl and you’ve never been one. You need something strong in ya and this big, black bottle IS IT. One shot is usually enough though we at CCC already know that’s not all you want. Pure Testosterone, raw masculinity infused with some BAD a$$ attitude – all you need to do is open up, throw this one back and wait for it.
:pouty: :sick: Warning (Drink Responsibly)

MJ

- MJ, Too
MJ: We’ve taken this infusion of all natural MJ bodily extracts and perfectly blended it into this refreshingly, naturally sweet and tangy citrus beverage we all ooooooof course, MJ. And we swear, it taste just like JUICE! We can’t really explain what it will do to you — experience it for yourself. You’ll understand after your very first swallow. :whistle:
A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
In honor of our favorite couple’s special night we at CCC have created two special drinks:
CHASTITY and UNLEASHED

Ms. CHASTITY
MS. CHASTITY: Coy and uninhibited, sweet and sincere. Remember when you were without fear, honest and whole — do you want to feel like that little girl again; do you want to experience, if only for a moment, the blissfulness of youth? Enjoy, Saniia’s Ms. CHASTITY. Experience the quality that captured Michael’s heart. INNOCENCE IS INTOXICATING.
UNLEASHED: Years of discipline, control and abstinence can only result in one thing: UNLEASHED. We were there. We captured it. We bottled it. Taste the flavor of unbridled passion.

Liquid CobraCrack ™
LIQUID COBRACRACK™ There hasn’t been a chapter uploaded for days! Your internet connection is on the blitz and you can’t find your IPod. Your family and friends have completely disassociated themselves from you because you’ve become a walking zombie. Not one of them understands why you’ve been staring at the blank screen of your computer for days now. But if you don’t get some Michael in you and in you quick, you will just explode!
Due to the number of addicts jonesing outside of CCC we rolled up our sleeves and created this TEMPORARY infusion of Michael in the form of Liquid CobraCrack ™. Stock up now while supplies last. Keep some in the back of your fridge, in the garage, under your desk at work and in your nightstand. Never be without Michael again!!! But Be Warned: Liquid CobraCrack ™ is equally as addictive as the real thing and there is a high likelihood of developing a tolerance very quickly. :sad: You really just can’t replace the real thing!!!!

The cool, refreshing boyish joy of Michael in your glass.
MINTY MIKE: Inspired by Sonia: We were just goofing off, experimenting when we took Michael’s cool smile, his refreshingly sincere good nature, his boyish charm and added just a dash of delight and to our surprise, POOF!!! A Minty Mike appeared! One sip and we couldn’t stop laughing!!! Almost scientifically identical to the chemical compound of JOY, this drink will chase away any and all of your blues and put a peppermint — permanent smile on your face. Enjoy!

Creamy Sabah
CREAMY SABAH: Creamy Chocolate Mike w/ just a hint of Sabah. We searched high and low for a non-x-rated picture that we could put up and this is what we came up with — WHEWWWW!!!!

Pure
Prince Michael’s PURE – Cool, Sweet and light as mist, this magical drink refreshingly satisfies your craving for Prince Michael without the calories or the alcohol. Passion distilled to its purest form, PURE WILL cure your thirst . . . but alas not your desire. Feel free to drink it all day and all night but be warned, Prince Michael always leaves you wanting more.

:wub: L.O.V.E.:When it comes to shots, we don’t offer anything that is more electrifying. We are serving the pure essence of Michael. It IS all that he had ever stood for and nothing more. People who met him basked in its warmth. It was in his words, his actions, his demeanor, his behavior and most of all, his smile. He simply exuded it from his pores. He gave and never asked for anything in return and now we offer the same to you.
If you’re feeling down and you need a pick me up; if you have been hit with a dose of negativity and need something to chase it away, we present to you something that will fill you with only the most natural of highs. It is ten times stronger than any of our other drinks and lasts twice as long: L.O.V.E. Have a shot today and experience the love of Michael Jackson. ***If you experience an immediate sense of peace, joy and contentment, don’t be alarmed that’s the magic of Michael in your system.

Chocolate Covered Mike
CHOCOLATE COVERED MIKE: For those of us with a sweet tooth introducing, Chocolate covered Mike. It’s decadently sweet, addictive, satisfying and unbelievably good for you. It’s just too perfect, OMG!!!!

SANGRE: Other establishments serve Sangria. We serve Sangre. Simply put, this sensually, seductive mixture of perfectly blended fruit, aged wine and just a tinsy weensy drop of Michael’s blood will invade your system and change your personality FOREVER. Undercover cameras captured the woman in the picture above seconds after she took one sip – we are not even sure she had a chance to swallow. Michael NEVER knew what hit him but I hear he was smiling for days afterward. Try it – if you’re woman enough. :devil:
THE FORCE: This drink is served with a resuscitation kit. I don’t’ think I need to say more!

The Prince Royale
THE PRINCE ROYALE: You’re a lady, and you know truthfully that is the only kind of woman who can capture Michael’s heart. You only drink to relax, not to get drunk like some of the lesser women who frequent Da Smooth Criminal. You’re not interested in cheap sex, you want a life time commitment from the object of your affection. Your drink will be served in our finest crystal, the ones etched in gold, on a silver platter in the VIP section of the bar. The smooth and fruity undertones of this vintage wine will peel away the layers of your resistance until you are as free from your inhibitions as any Creamy Mike lover. The only difference is you’ve done it with style. The price of this drink only reflects your superior self-worth. Go ahead splurge. You’re worth it! And Michael will definitely take notice. He enjoys the finer things in life and so do you.

Thug Passion
THUG PASSION: Okay it’s no Michael but you’re strapped for cash. The flavor doesn’t last as long but it’s just a ‘lil something to keep you going until you can get a REAL drink. A favorite of our financially challenged customers. What you see is what you get and damn, come on girls, you have to admit, it looks good as hell.
THE MABHA: A smooth and tangy combination of Sabah and Michael with a twist and zesty kick at the end. Don’t nurse it, ’cause it get’s flat. Drink it while it still has that sizzle!
THE GENTLEMAN WILL stay in you all night and will also be the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning. Now let’s be clear: It’s not a hangover. It’s better than a hangover. It’s a HANG ON I’M CUMIN’.

Cool, milky, deceptively sweet.
THE MIKEGASM: Hands down, our most popular drink! Cool, Milky and deceptively sweet, you won’t see where the bang is coming from but IT WILL hit ya!!!!! What’s worst, you’ll keep ordering it anyway. We can’t explain why it explodes in your mouth, we just know we like it!!!! Make sure you have a designated driver if you start throwing back this one. We’re not going to take responsibility and you WON’T have just one.
MR. M: This is our signature beer. We brew it on the premises but if you’re watching yourself, you can get our light version instead.
MRS. M: The light version of our homemade brew, for our responsible drinkers who also want to make it home in one piece.

Holoma's Soup
HOLOMA’S SOUP: This deceptively potent drink has babies popping up all over the place and since Michael loves da kids, we just can’t take it off the menu. It’s spicy and fruity and served with a strangely cool mist circling up top. Don’t mind the woman in the back hovering over the cauldron. She mixes a big batch of it every morning and though we’ve never asked for a specific list of ingredients, she says that it’s all natural and we trust her!!!

Creamy Mike

Creamy Mike w/ Extra Creme
CREAMY MIKE: (Inspired by Annie) Pure milk chocolate, lightened to perfection with thick, heavy cream and a blend of exotic liqueurs, the taste of this drink will linger in your mouth for hours. You’ll find yourself constantly licking your lips and thinking about it even after you’ve cleaned the last drop out of the glass with your finger. So delicious we naturally prepare two when it’s ordered because everyone gulps them down so quickly. BE WARNED: This drink WILL give you a particularly wicked alcoholic sugar rush. A number of women find it very difficult to keep their legs closed even after one small sip.

The Foreplay
THE FOREPLAY: (Inspired by Martinigirl) Trust me. Looks CAN be deceiving. This seemingly happy go lucky drink will put you flat on your back and keep you there. No matter what you’ve heard YOU ARE NOT READY for this drink. The tangy taste of pineapples smothered in Amaretto and Southern Comfort will knock you right off your feet – literally. Once on your back, you WILL stay there for days . . . and nights. I took this off the menu because I lost a couplah return customers. It’s served with a life size cut out of the Michael pic above. A bunch of people ordered, left and were never seen again.

Golden Boy
THE GOLDEN BOY: (Inspired by Enola) From the moment this Martini came into existence we knew it was special. Inexplicably sliding down your throat like icy cold molten lava, we struggled to formulate an adequate description. Fearing, because the drink was so powerful, that we would face multiple law suits if we put this volatile concoction on our menu we decided in the end it would only be safe to offer ONE drink PER PERSON per LIFE TIME. Ladies, ladies, before you protest, please try and understand: The Martini . . . shakes/stirs itself! (Cue dramatic music) ( O-O )
THE THRILLER — (Inspired by MJQuan) It sizzles, it pops, it dances in your mouth and then it gets down in you and makes you wanna dance, too. One sip, and your hand is up in the air, you’re pursing your lips and saying, “Oooooo”!!! This is our most popular non-alcoholic drink. You can take it all day and never get tired. Enjoy!

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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
Are you over
18oops I mean 21?:whistle:
thanks Sabine… I know he will be fine – coz I will be all over it – I just hate the waiting and not knowing..
Yes happy Michael thoughts are with me..
And a fellow MJ fan sent me a smile this morning… so I share it with you all:
That made me feel so great!
Happy day girls!
HI MGirl…you and Coop are in my thoughts all day today…..(((hugs)))and kisses to you both and thanks for sharing that pic… *sigh*…lovely. :heart:
L.O.V.E. shots on the bar for me and anyone else who happens by!
*shuffles in with a piece of paper sticking to her forehead*
Hi there, Gracie.
*shaking up two cans of whipped cream for two Creamy Mikes*
AHA! I knew I would get you outta there!….Michael’s pretty great but even he is better with whipped cream!
you must be hungry….chocolate covered Mike too?
OMG, LMAO at the pic!! :lol: :lol: !!
24 hours locked up with Michael will do that to ya i guess!
Yeah, lots of whipped cream and uh… can I have three Chocolate Covered Mikes?
Well Gracie, it wasn’t the 24 hours that did it to me, it was Michael himself.
He glued it to my forehead while I was sleeping after one of our pillow fights. (He lost because I used dirty tricks, so I am guessing he does not like to lose. )
Can you believe it? :angry:
The best part though, is that I have glued a piece of paper to his back at the exact spot where he cannot reach it himself. :devil:
Three Chocolate-covered Mikes coming right up! *slides the plate down the bar to Enola*
Michael’s a sore loser? never would have guessed! :wink:
but it seems in the battle of wits he is no match for you my dear….never underestimate the cleverness of a blonde, right?
how is your world today ? i have a million chores waiting for me but i have only one kid right now and she’s sleeping (an event that occurs about as often as solar eclipse) so i am giving myself 1 hour to drink and oogle.. :happy:
YAY! Look at those beautiful Chocolate Covered Mikes!
Oh boy, I have missed them so much!
*rubs her hands in excitement and launches her attack on the CCMs*
Mmrubf humbf…
Sorry, I should not be speaking with food in my mouth.
How is my world? Not bad, as a matter of fact. I ordered the Dangerous Short Films DVD on the Internet last week and I have just received it today. I plan on watching it later. I feel a little silly sometimes when I think about the fact that my MJ collection is growing all the time. I mean at my age… Shouldn’t I be knitting or something? LOL!
Knitting?!?!? HA! I don’t think you EVER have to give up Michael! I’m a little jealous, I have no DVD’s…my daughter and i have to rely on whatever is showing on cable On Demand…there are ususally 3 or 4 MJ videos on there we can watch. We do happen to have “Will You Be There” (my little girl’s FAVORITE song) just because we happen to have the “Free Willy” DVD and it’s on there as an extra. We watch it over and over…and over… :happy:
well, thanks for drinking with me honey…my addiction will have to just be quiet the rest of the day, i have too much to do!
Later! *waving bye*
Bye Gracie!
:wub:
OMG sabinee.. hhahaahahhaahha
you realy think im a baby huh?
you know how old im gonna be next month? :w00t:
No Elmira, how old are you gonna be!!!! :happy:
hahaahahhaahhahaahah
I’m gonna be 23 years old :tongue: I’m getting OLD!
Hey eveyone the bar is always so busy
You know what I don’t think I’ve ever formally ordered a drink here( except for the imaginary one I tried to brew and serve myself :whistle: :lol: )
If I may I would like to try a MJ, I don’t drink at all so don’t give me too much, I want to go slow :angel:
Did anybody get you your drink — here you go!!!!
Sip slowly, MJ is potent
okay, now watch out, someone is bringing my cup to the car for me. Excuse me :happy:
Elmira, if you’re 23 and you’re old, then what am I?
I’ll be 39 this July :wink:
hello everyone i totally did something crazy With this boy i been talking to for 3 weeks (whistles) we kinda got busy last night. And theres more!!! Oh my god Im having a heart attack!!!
hiya girls…
just checking in quickly…
My puppy Cooper (actually he is 3 – but I still call him a puppy) is okay and no surgery
mommy is better and doing her happy dance…
Whew….
hehehe… baby boy when he was a puppy!

we will return to our regular blog drunk activities shortly!
You are NOT old..
Your are a PYT sabine :angel:
That little doggy is a adorable!!! I’m so happy for you Mgirl.
Elmira, girl, flattery will get you everywhere.
Hey MjQuan, girl, I am speechless.
:whistle:
*strolling in*
Yo! What up ladies?
It is noon somewhere – let’s drink!
MJ in my travel mug looks just dandy to me!
Happy HuMp Day!
Good morning, Mgirl — you’re sounding chipper today!
I actually had some work to do so I’ve been up all night but I’m surprisingly or maybe not, not tired!
And today is my son’s junior prom — he looks so handsome in his suit, maybe later I’ll post a picture!
Feel free to use the Big Gulp cups — ( Gracie brought in a whole bunch of them the other day)
Hi Sabine!!!!
Congratulations to your son and you!!!!!!!! :silly: :biggrin: :heart:
Post a picture, I wanna see if he still has his cute “Hamsterbacken”!
:angel: It’s after noon here, I’ll start celebrating with a Sangre….
Hamsterbacken!!! LOL! You remembered! Well, he’s about 6′ now soooooo . . . let’s toast to a future gentleman Hamterbacken like Michael! :wub:
Hey addicts! hmmmm..Big Gulp of MJ? that should perk up this dreary morning here! just one thing though…could we maybe hire a cuter guy to carry them out for us?….just askin’……
..and Coop is well! YAY! I”m so relieved! and it’s good to have the drunk back on her barstool. :wink:
…Sabine, we would love to see prom pics if you’re OK with it…6″ tall!?! How old is he? and what are you feeding him…my oldest could use a little height (poor thing, there are 2nd-graders taller than him!…he blames me and my short genes)
Now get some sleep,girl!
have a beautiful day everyone! :biggrin:
ok, obviously i meant to type 6′ not 6″! :lol: sorry…just blame it on the boogie!
its just that hes a michael jackson dancer. And i guess that i had to find out how good he can “dance” (whistles) and i have to truly say that he rocked my world. Im such a naughty girl..
*walks in and leaves note on the bar*
“Hi ladies,
I have to tell you something, but it is so embarrassing I cannot bear to tell you in person. So, I have left this note for you and am now hiding in Da Recovery Room with Michael. :blush:
Here it comes…
I did more than going a on round trip in a helicopter on my birthday last month. I did something stupid, too stupid for my age. I attempted to do a MJ spin in my living room. At first, it seemed like a great idea. I was a little high on Michael and I just went with it, you know what it is like. However, when I lost my balance and crashed through our glass table it stopped being a good idea. Luckily, I managed to escape with nothing more than a chipped tooth and… oh well, I guess my pride took a direct hit too. I had to buy a new table as well of course.
This time it is NOT glass table.
See you when I stop blushing.” :blush: :blush: :blush:
Hi girls, I know I don´t come in here often and ii don´t want to interrupt you, but I came running to bring you this, ya .. I know it’s not Saturday night, but … I love this video and want to share with you and what better place to put it on ( with your permission, Sabine) …. mmmmmh it´s raining here but i need a fresh Sangre!
Enjoy it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-yRtNp8E8A
hahahahaha……ups! i´m sorry enola…not a oak table either :tongue:
Hey girls. busy day today. My son is 14 — but his dad is 6’4 so he’ll probably be pretty tall. he’s eating me out of house and home.
I’ll post pics later.
MjQuan, I’m worried about you, girl. :sad:
Thanks for the drink it’s delicious
MjQuan Congratulations…. I think :wassat:
Sabine you should post a picture I’m curious to see your son, prom wasn’t that long ago for me, did he have a date?
MJQuan what do you mean” he’s a Michael Jackson dancer?
It’s junior prom — from Middle School to H.S.
Here he is — we’re gonna be late!
hansome son. Is he a male model??. About my previous conversation What i mean is that he professionally dances like mj for a living. Sabine, dont worry me & my bf Split about a month ago.
AWWWWWW Sabine he’s so handsme, such a tall young man, that’s a slick suit, not the predictable black everyone else usually wears. I hope he has a good time. :smile: Thank for posting. What does he think of the stories you write?
MJQuan, so he’s a MJ inpersonator or something? I hope he’s not taking advantage of you because you’ve only known each other for a short period of time, 3 weeks you said? that’s not long at all. Be careful. :unsure:
Awwww, OMG Sabine, did you cry?…I feel a little misty and he’s not my kid! he is very handsome and you should be so proud. :wub:
my 13-year-old is 4′ 9″…..he is still holding out hope for the NBA though! :lol:
STILL raining here…funny you were having the same weather in your part of the world Irune, thank you for sharing the video! :smile:
Sangre sounds yummy….one for the road!
i didnt tell him that i love mj yet. But hes so sweet. He blushes wildly everytime he sees me. He cant even focus at work because hes constantly thinking of me. Did i tell you He can sing also?
OMG IT’S A CAPTAIN EO WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meeting up with a whole crapload of family members that I haven’t seen since before I went traveling and we are all going to DIsneyland!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you all know what that means!!! CAPTAIN EO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gonna have the best time EVER!!!
Sabine… your son has your eyes. Very handsome.
:smile: :smile: :smile:
Oh Sabine…
you make beautiful babies…
so handsome!
I am with Sabine MJQuan – you worry my heart
take care love and be safe
Hey ladies I’m baccccccck! Hi Gracie, Mgirl, Collette, Frodes and MJQuan — my son a model, ha!!!!
He doesn’t even like to take pictures! Frodes, yeah he has my eyes, and Mgirl, awwww, thank you but really O- M – G, he looks just like his Dad!!!
Captain EO! :w00t: I’m jealous! Sounds like you’re gonna have a great time !!!
Now my son, what does he think of my stories — he could care less — he’s 14 remember! But I tell him lots of funny stories that don’t have to do with MJ and crack him up that way.
Gracie, did I cry? Well, I’m a big crier, but no I didn’t — probably at the graduation I will cry.
The prom was sooooooo nice. It was a catered affair at an Italian catering hall — they let us go in to take pics, but damn, my son rushed me outta there REALLLL fast!!!!!
All the kids look so grown up! *sigh*
I didn’t get to go to my prom (wasn’t allowed to) :sad:
MjQuan, I said I’m worried for you because you just lost your grandmother and there’s a hole there that hasn’t healed and I wouldn’t want you to fill it up with the wrong things.
SABINE..
OMG
your son is SOO handsome! He is cute :) He seems like a good kid, you can totally tell he has a good head on his shoulders :D
how sweet.!!
Hi Sabine!!!!
Wow!!!! Your son looks FINE!!!!!! Such a handsome boy, or should I say young man? He does look older than 14, which at his age is a compliment…
:biggrin: And that beautiful suit – so sophisticated!!!!
:heart: Cheers!!!
Btw – I hope that’s not too private – I like your interior, it’s beautiful!!!
Hi Elmira, Hi Katie, That’s not too private at all! You can see the room? As you can see, I like wood! What do they call that style — old English — I don’t know. I like it. The antique look.
Yeah, my son is a young man, I can’t believe it — I’m like where did all the time go! Thank you on his behalf. His Dad bought the suit, I don’t even want to say how much.
I was like :w00t:
But he said, kinda proudly, you always need a good suit. I thought that was cute.
He looks older than 14 ’cause I guess he’s tall but he acts like he’s 10! :biggrin: And I’m not kidding.
Elmira, you can tell from the picture that he’s a good kid? :wassat:
I’m just teasing you — he’s very sweet. :wub:
come on you guys. Youre making me sad. I know my grandma is gone now and i miss her alot but for some weird reason mj death is more traumatic for me. Its like watching my own self die.
*sipping away in a dark corner*
whoop…
3000