15
Mar
2010
Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room
Step Right up and Grab a Drink Before You Get Your Hit. Don’t see what you want? You can look at all the drinks on the menu individually — just click on the picture!
[itk-eticker]INTRODUCING THE dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA![/itk-eticker]
Have an Idea for a new drink? Please leave a comment and we’ll see about putting it on the menu!!!!
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A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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MJ
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Bad Boy Shot
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Ms. Chastity
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Chocolate Mike
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Liquid CobraCrack™
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Creamy Mike
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Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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DDD, also served by the bottle
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Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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Holoma’s Soup
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Holoma’s Soup
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L.O.V.E. Shot
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Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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Mikegasm
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Minty Mike
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Mr. M & Mrs. M
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Royale
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Prince Michael’s Pure
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Sangre
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The Force
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The Foreplay
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The Gentleman
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The Thriller
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Thug Passion
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- A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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- MJ
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- Bad Boy Shot
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- Ms. Chastity
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- Chocolate Mike
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- Liquid CobraCrack™
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- Creamy Mike
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- Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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- Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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- Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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- Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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- DDD, also served by the bottle
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- Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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- Holoma’s Soup
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- Holoma’s Soup
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- L.O.V.E. Shot
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- Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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- Mikegasm
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- Minty Mike
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- Mr. M & Mrs. M
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- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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- Prince Royale
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- Prince Michael’s Pure
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- Sangre
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- The Force
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- The Foreplay
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- The Gentleman
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- The Thriller
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- Thug Passion
Sorry about this, but please just give security your I.D. – we don’t want no trouble.
Okay now that you’re in, Look our Bar Room. :silly: :cheerful: Annie Decorated it and I think she’s done a FABULOUS job!!!!! Thanks Annie!!!!
After, if you are still walking, talking and coherent you might want to stop by our gift shop!!!!
N O W S E R V I N G :
Hey there handsome, excuse me for a minute I’ll be right with ya’ 
MENU LIST:
N E W ON THE M E N U!:
DDD, also served by the bottle
Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
INTRODUCING The dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA: Some of you addicts have been pretending. And it’s really not necessary. When you come into the bar, have a seat. Your drink has already been prepared. We’ll even serve you the bottle. After all, it’s got your name on it. :yes: :alien:
Warning: Do NOT Mix this drink with Bad Boy Shots. We’ve heard some stories, let me tell ya!
Bad Boy Shot
THE BAD BOY SHOT: Let’s face it, you’re not a good girl and you’ve never been one. You need something strong in ya and this big, black bottle IS IT. One shot is usually enough though we at CCC already know that’s not all you want. Pure Testosterone, raw masculinity infused with some BAD a$$ attitude – all you need to do is open up, throw this one back and wait for it.
:pouty: :sick: Warning (Drink Responsibly)
MJ
- MJ, Too
MJ: We’ve taken this infusion of all natural MJ bodily extracts and perfectly blended it into this refreshingly, naturally sweet and tangy citrus beverage we all ooooooof course, MJ. And we swear, it taste just like JUICE! We can’t really explain what it will do to you — experience it for yourself. You’ll understand after your very first swallow. :whistle:
A Wet Sabah -- Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
In honor of our favorite couple’s special night we at CCC have created two special drinks:
CHASTITY and UNLEASHED
Ms. CHASTITY
MS. CHASTITY: Coy and uninhibited, sweet and sincere. Remember when you were without fear, honest and whole — do you want to feel like that little girl again; do you want to experience, if only for a moment, the blissfulness of youth? Enjoy, Saniia’s Ms. CHASTITY. Experience the quality that captured Michael’s heart. INNOCENCE IS INTOXICATING.
Unleashed
UNLEASHED: Years of discipline, control and abstinence can only result in one thing: UNLEASHED. We were there. We captured it. We bottled it. Taste the flavor of unbridled passion.
Liquid CobraCrack™
Liquid CobraCrack ™
LIQUID COBRACRACK™ There hasn’t been a chapter uploaded for days! Your internet connection is on the blitz and you can’t find your IPod. Your family and friends have completely disassociated themselves from you because you’ve become a walking zombie. Not one of them understands why you’ve been staring at the blank screen of your computer for days now. But if you don’t get some Michael in you and in you quick, you will just explode!
Due to the number of addicts jonesing outside of CCC we rolled up our sleeves and created this TEMPORARY infusion of Michael in the form of Liquid CobraCrack ™. Stock up now while supplies last. Keep some in the back of your fridge, in the garage, under your desk at work and in your nightstand. Never be without Michael again!!! But Be Warned: Liquid CobraCrack ™ is equally as addictive as the real thing and there is a high likelihood of developing a tolerance very quickly. :sad: You really just can’t replace the real thing!!!!
The cool, refreshing boyish joy of Michael in your glass.
MINTY MIKE: Inspired by Sonia: We were just goofing off, experimenting when we took Michael’s cool smile, his refreshingly sincere good nature, his boyish charm and added just a dash of delight and to our surprise, POOF!!! A Minty Mike appeared! One sip and we couldn’t stop laughing!!! Almost scientifically identical to the chemical compound of JOY, this drink will chase away any and all of your blues and put a peppermint — permanent smile on your face. Enjoy!
Creamy Sabah
CREAMY SABAH: Creamy Chocolate Mike w/ just a hint of Sabah. We searched high and low for a non-x-rated picture that we could put up and this is what we came up with — WHEWWWW!!!!
Pure
Prince Michael’s PURE – Cool, Sweet and light as mist, this magical drink refreshingly satisfies your craving for Prince Michael without the calories or the alcohol. Passion distilled to its purest form, PURE WILL cure your thirst . . . but alas not your desire. Feel free to drink it all day and all night but be warned, Prince Michael always leaves you wanting more.
:wub: L.O.V.E.:When it comes to shots, we don’t offer anything that is more electrifying. We are serving the pure essence of Michael. It IS all that he had ever stood for and nothing more. People who met him basked in its warmth. It was in his words, his actions, his demeanor, his behavior and most of all, his smile. He simply exuded it from his pores. He gave and never asked for anything in return and now we offer the same to you.
If you’re feeling down and you need a pick me up; if you have been hit with a dose of negativity and need something to chase it away, we present to you something that will fill you with only the most natural of highs. It is ten times stronger than any of our other drinks and lasts twice as long: L.O.V.E. Have a shot today and experience the love of Michael Jackson. ***If you experience an immediate sense of peace, joy and contentment, don’t be alarmed that’s the magic of Michael in your system.
Chocolate Covered Mike
CHOCOLATE COVERED MIKE: For those of us with a sweet tooth introducing, Chocolate covered Mike. It’s decadently sweet, addictive, satisfying and unbelievably good for you. It’s just too perfect, OMG!!!!
- Sangre
SANGRE: Other establishments serve Sangria. We serve Sangre. Simply put, this sensually, seductive mixture of perfectly blended fruit, aged wine and just a tinsy weensy drop of Michael’s blood will invade your system and change your personality FOREVER. Undercover cameras captured the woman in the picture above seconds after she took one sip – we are not even sure she had a chance to swallow. Michael NEVER knew what hit him but I hear he was smiling for days afterward. Try it – if you’re woman enough. :devil:
The Force - it has a lot of power!
THE FORCE: This drink is served with a resuscitation kit. I don’t’ think I need to say more!
The Prince Royale
THE PRINCE ROYALE: You’re a lady, and you know truthfully that is the only kind of woman who can capture Michael’s heart. You only drink to relax, not to get drunk like some of the lesser women who frequent Da Smooth Criminal. You’re not interested in cheap sex, you want a life time commitment from the object of your affection. Your drink will be served in our finest crystal, the ones etched in gold, on a silver platter in the VIP section of the bar. The smooth and fruity undertones of this vintage wine will peel away the layers of your resistance until you are as free from your inhibitions as any Creamy Mike lover. The only difference is you’ve done it with style. The price of this drink only reflects your superior self-worth. Go ahead splurge. You’re worth it! And Michael will definitely take notice. He enjoys the finer things in life and so do you.
Thug Passion
THUG PASSION: Okay it’s no Michael but you’re strapped for cash. The flavor doesn’t last as long but it’s just a ‘lil something to keep you going until you can get a REAL drink. A favorite of our financially challenged customers. What you see is what you get and damn, come on girls, you have to admit, it looks good as hell.
THE MABHA * Michael chose the name so excuse the spelling : )
THE MABHA: A smooth and tangy combination of Sabah and Michael with a twist and zesty kick at the end. Don’t nurse it, ’cause it get’s flat. Drink it while it still has that sizzle!
THE GENTLEMAN
THE GENTLEMAN WILL stay in you all night and will also be the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning. Now let’s be clear: It’s not a hangover. It’s better than a hangover. It’s a HANG ON I’M CUMIN’.
Cool, milky, deceptively sweet.
THE MIKEGASM: Hands down, our most popular drink! Cool, Milky and deceptively sweet, you won’t see where the bang is coming from but IT WILL hit ya!!!!! What’s worst, you’ll keep ordering it anyway. We can’t explain why it explodes in your mouth, we just know we like it!!!! Make sure you have a designated driver if you start throwing back this one. We’re not going to take responsibility and you WON’T have just one.
Mr. M, Home Brewed Right Here at CCC daily!
MR. M: This is our signature beer. We brew it on the premises but if you’re watching yourself, you can get our light version instead.
Mrs. M, For Our Lady Cowgirls who WANNA remember the good times!
MRS. M: The light version of our homemade brew, for our responsible drinkers who also want to make it home in one piece.
Holoma's Soup
HOLOMA’S SOUP: This deceptively potent drink has babies popping up all over the place and since Michael loves da kids, we just can’t take it off the menu. It’s spicy and fruity and served with a strangely cool mist circling up top. Don’t mind the woman in the back hovering over the cauldron. She mixes a big batch of it every morning and though we’ve never asked for a specific list of ingredients, she says that it’s all natural and we trust her!!!
Creamy Mike
Creamy Mike w/ Extra Creme
CREAMY MIKE: (Inspired by Annie) Pure milk chocolate, lightened to perfection with thick, heavy cream and a blend of exotic liqueurs, the taste of this drink will linger in your mouth for hours. You’ll find yourself constantly licking your lips and thinking about it even after you’ve cleaned the last drop out of the glass with your finger. So delicious we naturally prepare two when it’s ordered because everyone gulps them down so quickly. BE WARNED: This drink WILL give you a particularly wicked alcoholic sugar rush. A number of women find it very difficult to keep their legs closed even after one small sip.
The Foreplay
THE FOREPLAY: (Inspired by Martinigirl) Trust me. Looks CAN be deceiving. This seemingly happy go lucky drink will put you flat on your back and keep you there. No matter what you’ve heard YOU ARE NOT READY for this drink. The tangy taste of pineapples smothered in Amaretto and Southern Comfort will knock you right off your feet – literally. Once on your back, you WILL stay there for days . . . and nights. I took this off the menu because I lost a couplah return customers. It’s served with a life size cut out of the Michael pic above. A bunch of people ordered, left and were never seen again.
Golden Boy
THE GOLDEN BOY: (Inspired by Enola) From the moment this Martini came into existence we knew it was special. Inexplicably sliding down your throat like icy cold molten lava, we struggled to formulate an adequate description. Fearing, because the drink was so powerful, that we would face multiple law suits if we put this volatile concoction on our menu we decided in the end it would only be safe to offer ONE drink PER PERSON per LIFE TIME. Ladies, ladies, before you protest, please try and understand: The Martini . . . shakes/stirs itself! (Cue dramatic music) ( O-O )
The Thriller
THE THRILLER — (Inspired by MJQuan) It sizzles, it pops, it dances in your mouth and then it gets down in you and makes you wanna dance, too. One sip, and your hand is up in the air, you’re pursing your lips and saying, “Oooooo”!!! This is our most popular non-alcoholic drink. You can take it all day and never get tired. Enjoy!
5,390 Responses to “Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room”
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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
(Spike to Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
"----->His intelligence is instinctual and emotional, like a child’s. If any artist loses that childlikeness, you lose a lot of creative juice. So Michael creates around himself a world that protects his creativity”. ~ Jane Fonda
i know im good, i just hope that i can make it though….. i need a thriller… gracie…. i told you, i have mj patience….
or PM patience… tantric reading i like to call it…
OH MAAAAAH GAAAAAAWD!
*sits down and can’t open her mouth for the rest of the afternoon, …night? day? what time is it? where am I? huh*
why does michael taste so good? what does he put in there…
*talking resingnedly*
ok Annie, is your fault if tomorrow i do CPR to the doctor instead to the patient..
what about those Sangres? or those Prince Royal? I´M THRIIIIIISTY!!!
Oh YES!!!
RoyalCreamyPrinceMichaelForeplayMikegasm to everyone! Huh, wait… was that the name of the drink?
LMAO!!!! OMg, you girls are too much today.
MJQuan, I don’t know, girl!
Annie did you see the picture of the Mikegasm in the other room? I took it of you when you finished the chapter! :smile:
We’re having Prince Royals — that’s it. Real ladies don’t mix their drinks *putting nose up in air*
*AnniesNotOkBecauseShe’sNoRealLadySNIFF*
*pouring a large glass of Prince Royal for Annie*
Annnnnnnnnieeee! Michael said to give this to you:
You´re a REAL LADY Annie, aren´t you? All women are princess, don´t you know that? My father allways says it…
S.O.S another princeroyal to Annie please!!
OMG, girl, forget about the Prince Royal (but thanks), what was that???? It even matches my gums, right now! LOL – And Michael said so…?
Irune, what a lucky lucky Princess you are to have such a King like that as father! I’m more like Cinderella (LOL… huh… no LOL :'( )
*whispering* Girls, do you see MJQuan licking her lips over and over…? She seems to be in ecstasy. Do you think she has read the chapter?
mmmmm Cinderella….GREAT! :w00t: She stays with the Prince!!!! So you are a lucky lady too… :heart:
Good night, and good “lollipoped guns” dreams.
Half full glass lady! LOL (Good night)
*Off to RR with my glass with TheDrinkWithNoNameButWithStrawberriesInItOMG*
nope havent read it yet… im hanging in there though……….
*sweeping the bar*
Boy there was SUCH a party in the Tame the Wild Cobra room tonight!!!! People were blowing up ballons and making crazy shapes out of them, and then they were putting strange fruit int the drinks like banaanas and slivers of pineapple and then laughing knowingly when they put them in their mouths.
I mean I don’t know what kind of CobraCrack those girls got a hold of but it must have been GOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!
Oh, Annie, that drink with the fruit, THAT’S the Prince Royal. You know, I need to put up a menu!!!!
gimmie something cold… MAMA is on fire.. TTWC has got me all a flutter…
:blush:
:blush:
:wub:
:wub:
:wub:
:blush:
:blush:
Sabine…what do you mean you were sweeping? You forgot the mop! remember the tsunami that just passed through TTWC? :w00t: :wink:
still havent read it yet… but my heads about to explode
UGh :shocked:
Yuck! :sick: PF, is THAT what was all over the floor?
:w00t: OMG!!!!
*running to get my gloves*
:ermm: MJQuan, wait a minute, an addict “waiting” to get a hit? I gotta look this ish up? I’ve never heard of that before!!!!!
Now someone get a hose of L.O.V.E. ready for Martinigril . . . .
:wassat: ugh, wait a minute.
You’re tending bar, aren’t you girl????
:lol:
i just wanted the time to be right, ok, im going in now… pray for me!!!! *holds breath*
yes mame I am tending bar…
but I need to take my LOVE shot back to the smile room
see you all for coffee in the AM!
ok im scared, i havent went into there yet, i had to put on my smiley face……
Scared of what? Da Cobra? Don’t be scurrrrrreeddd!!!!
Night MGril!!!! Sweet Prince MIchael dreams
*turning down houselights but lighting a lamp for MjQuan*
*stretch*
morning addicts
1 creamy Mike to go…
MJQuan… love your new avi!
…mmmmmorning…
I agree what MartiniGirl said! Girls I envy your beautiful curly hair.
Girl… Seriously, we have to talk, are you sending that request by smoke signals? (it’s not in my e-mail, should it be there? Here, where?) How are you feeling, btw?
MJQuan, have you read it yet?
OMG, now that I know what it looks like, I want a Prince Royal… no!, let it be 2 of them.
Annie!!! Hello my love! Guess what I’m doing? Making a menu as we speak!!!! I don’t know about you, but if I read a description on a menu, that’s on thing, but if I see a picture wow!!!!! that’s an instant way to make me say, I WANT THAT.
Which is what happens whenever I see Michael!!!!! :wub:
OMG, a menu full of “Michaels”
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come here again.
:shocked:
Well, I’ve shown you the Michael’s now I have to show you the drinks.
Mhmmm, I’m getting thirsty just looking at them!
You know Annie, my mind is totally in the gutter. I read:
and I really thought you were going to say something else!
oh Annie… We figure it out this weekend.
Nope not in da in box….
We talk later girlie…
ok im up, hello girls, thankz for the compliment… but before i do anything, i need the force so badly, sabine messed me up last night, i almost went into shock….lol! :blush: :pinch:
yes annie i read it… now, i think i have to read it again before i comment i dont know how am i supposed to go through with this :whistle:
:wassat:
:sad: I’m sorry . . . .
:lol: No, I’m not!!!!!
i wasnt even expecting that…. :getlost: :getlost: :getlost: :getlost: :pinch: :pinch: :pinch: :face: :face: :alien: that is what you did to me………!!!!!!!!
but seriously when i said why does he tastes so good, that was a random sayimg, i didnt know it had so much in common with the chapter… :lol: :blush:
At the end of a long day at work, this is the place to be.
NICE MENU!
But seriously, what did you put into that Mikegasm? I know I have a vivid imagination, but still…
I’m not sure I want to drink it when it looks like someone just… . :biggrin:
Noticed a drink on the menu I have not tried yet. How is that possible?
Better try it now! A Creamy Orgasm, please!!
Danish airspace has just been closed completely due to a cloud of volcanic ashes that is drifting this way from an eruption on Iceland. But I know better. It’s my fault. That TTWC chapter made ME erupt yesterday. Now I’m reduced to ashes drifting on the wind….
holy mother of god…
i have died and gone to heaven…
(I guess my mother was right when she said it will kill you if you don’t stop that)
heheheh
hello heaven – killing me softly… gimme that yummie-ness
I’m still working on it, unfortunately I made some of the “mike” pic disappear and we cannot have that!!!!
:blink: Okay what is going on here
What is this new menu we’re talking about???
Whatever, the most electrifying thing on it is, just give me that.
Yeah Enola, read about that too bad isn’t it.
:wassat: Its even more weird there have been a string of earthquakes around the globe and now this, looks like mother nature has gone off the deep end.
LOL!!! Enola, I’m still working on this, it’s taking much tooooooo long!!! I have another Mikegasm pic I might use!
Global WArming is real — that electrifying thing is The Force — do you see the titles Sonia?
Sonia,
…mother nature has gone off the deep end….
Yeah, sometimes I get that feeling too. Maybe she’s missing Michael just as much as we are? :cwy:
A few hundred miles away from here people can actually smell the sulphur in the air. The cloud is drifting in my direction, so I am getting ready to close my windows. Already the sunshine looks really strange…
Well, if the world is going under right now, I’m going to make sure that I go down with it with a happy smile on my face. So, can I have a Golden Boy too?
In that case I’ll join you…
One Golden Boy for me as well!
Apocalypse…that’s my opinion on it. Global Warming may be the scientific explanation for what is happening.I for one think its just more than meets the eye. There’s too much evil and wickedness in the world and it somehow has to be wiped. I loved this TTWC, because as Queen Elizabeth said, somethings just have to happen. All those people who get affected by all these disasters, that’s just their Karma coming back at them, its something we can’t explain. Humans have forgotten to be human and need to learn how to L.O.V.E. again.
:heart: I’ll take a shot of L.O.V.E as well in that case.
Amen to that, Sonia!
:wub:
A shot of L.O.V.E. – yes, one can never get too many!
i need help.. i got to go i havent eaten anything i just hopped on the computer… ill be back…
Ahhhh, i feel that way too I love what Michael said in This Is It, about the planet being sick, like a fever
It starts with us! Wow, he was just too good for this world
Do you see the drinks girl?
That Force is looking mighty good but I need ‘anoter Creamy Mike — I don’t like the one I have.
Yes, it starts with us.
It breaks my heart the he did not get a chance to go on tour with that message.
I wonder if he would have been able to make a difference, if he could have convinced people to do something instead of just sitting on their butt, waiting for the Amazon rainforest to disappear, Africa to turn to dust, the water level to rise to a point where entire nations are being submerged…
And now to someting totally different:
Yeah, I see the drinks!
Mmm, sure, the Force looks like it’s got a lot of power.
*hides face in her hands and giggles*
Oh, I see the naughty Mikegasm is still there.
No wait!
Now the Mikegasm is gone? :pinch:
I must be drunk. :silly:
LOL, just replaced but I’m still not satisfied and I just realized I don’t have The Gentleman up there and that won’t due
:lol: Naughty Mikegasm! those are the best kinds!
It’s befitting, isn’t it, that the Mikegasm would be the most difficult drink to put on the menu
Okay, in honr of me having accomplished that difficult task, I’m going to have one.
Stand back girls
(you’ll understand why when you see the drink!)