Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room

Step Right up and Grab a Drink Before You Get Your Hit. Don’t see what you want? You can look at all the drinks on the menu individually — just click on the picture!
[itk-eticker]INTRODUCING THE dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA![/itk-eticker]
Have an Idea for a new drink? Please leave a comment and we’ll see about putting it on the menu!!!!
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A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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MJ
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Bad Boy Shot
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Ms. Chastity
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Chocolate Mike
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Liquid CobraCrack™
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Creamy Mike
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Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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DDD, also served by the bottle
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Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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Holoma’s Soup
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Holoma’s Soup
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L.O.V.E. Shot
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Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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Mikegasm
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Minty Mike
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Mr. M & Mrs. M
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Royale
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Prince Michael’s Pure
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Sangre
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The Force
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The Foreplay
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The Gentleman
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The Thriller
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Thug Passion
- A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
- MJ
- Bad Boy Shot
- Ms. Chastity
- Chocolate Mike
- Liquid CobraCrack™
- Creamy Mike
- Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
- Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
- Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
- Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
- DDD, also served by the bottle
- Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
- Holoma’s Soup
- Holoma’s Soup
- L.O.V.E. Shot
- Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
- Mikegasm
- Minty Mike
- Mr. M & Mrs. M
- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
- Prince Royale
- Prince Michael’s Pure
- Sangre
- The Force
- The Foreplay
- The Gentleman
- The Thriller
- Thug Passion
Sorry about this, but please just give security your I.D. – we don’t want no trouble.

Okay now that you’re in, Look our Bar Room. :silly: :cheerful: Annie Decorated it and I think she’s done a FABULOUS job!!!!! Thanks Annie!!!!
After, if you are still walking, talking and coherent you might want to stop by our gift shop!!!!
N O W S E R V I N G :
Hey there handsome, excuse me for a minute I’ll be right with ya’ 
MENU LIST:
N E W ON THE M E N U!:

DDD, also served by the bottle

Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
INTRODUCING The dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA: Some of you addicts have been pretending. And it’s really not necessary. When you come into the bar, have a seat. Your drink has already been prepared. We’ll even serve you the bottle. After all, it’s got your name on it. :yes: :alien:
Warning: Do NOT Mix this drink with Bad Boy Shots. We’ve heard some stories, let me tell ya!

Bad Boy Shot
THE BAD BOY SHOT: Let’s face it, you’re not a good girl and you’ve never been one. You need something strong in ya and this big, black bottle IS IT. One shot is usually enough though we at CCC already know that’s not all you want. Pure Testosterone, raw masculinity infused with some BAD a$$ attitude – all you need to do is open up, throw this one back and wait for it.
:pouty: :sick: Warning (Drink Responsibly)

MJ

- MJ, Too
MJ: We’ve taken this infusion of all natural MJ bodily extracts and perfectly blended it into this refreshingly, naturally sweet and tangy citrus beverage we all ooooooof course, MJ. And we swear, it taste just like JUICE! We can’t really explain what it will do to you — experience it for yourself. You’ll understand after your very first swallow. :whistle:
A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
In honor of our favorite couple’s special night we at CCC have created two special drinks:
CHASTITY and UNLEASHED

Ms. CHASTITY
MS. CHASTITY: Coy and uninhibited, sweet and sincere. Remember when you were without fear, honest and whole — do you want to feel like that little girl again; do you want to experience, if only for a moment, the blissfulness of youth? Enjoy, Saniia’s Ms. CHASTITY. Experience the quality that captured Michael’s heart. INNOCENCE IS INTOXICATING.
UNLEASHED: Years of discipline, control and abstinence can only result in one thing: UNLEASHED. We were there. We captured it. We bottled it. Taste the flavor of unbridled passion.

Liquid CobraCrack ™
LIQUID COBRACRACK™ There hasn’t been a chapter uploaded for days! Your internet connection is on the blitz and you can’t find your IPod. Your family and friends have completely disassociated themselves from you because you’ve become a walking zombie. Not one of them understands why you’ve been staring at the blank screen of your computer for days now. But if you don’t get some Michael in you and in you quick, you will just explode!
Due to the number of addicts jonesing outside of CCC we rolled up our sleeves and created this TEMPORARY infusion of Michael in the form of Liquid CobraCrack ™. Stock up now while supplies last. Keep some in the back of your fridge, in the garage, under your desk at work and in your nightstand. Never be without Michael again!!! But Be Warned: Liquid CobraCrack ™ is equally as addictive as the real thing and there is a high likelihood of developing a tolerance very quickly. :sad: You really just can’t replace the real thing!!!!

The cool, refreshing boyish joy of Michael in your glass.
MINTY MIKE: Inspired by Sonia: We were just goofing off, experimenting when we took Michael’s cool smile, his refreshingly sincere good nature, his boyish charm and added just a dash of delight and to our surprise, POOF!!! A Minty Mike appeared! One sip and we couldn’t stop laughing!!! Almost scientifically identical to the chemical compound of JOY, this drink will chase away any and all of your blues and put a peppermint — permanent smile on your face. Enjoy!

Creamy Sabah
CREAMY SABAH: Creamy Chocolate Mike w/ just a hint of Sabah. We searched high and low for a non-x-rated picture that we could put up and this is what we came up with — WHEWWWW!!!!

Pure
Prince Michael’s PURE – Cool, Sweet and light as mist, this magical drink refreshingly satisfies your craving for Prince Michael without the calories or the alcohol. Passion distilled to its purest form, PURE WILL cure your thirst . . . but alas not your desire. Feel free to drink it all day and all night but be warned, Prince Michael always leaves you wanting more.

:wub: L.O.V.E.:When it comes to shots, we don’t offer anything that is more electrifying. We are serving the pure essence of Michael. It IS all that he had ever stood for and nothing more. People who met him basked in its warmth. It was in his words, his actions, his demeanor, his behavior and most of all, his smile. He simply exuded it from his pores. He gave and never asked for anything in return and now we offer the same to you.
If you’re feeling down and you need a pick me up; if you have been hit with a dose of negativity and need something to chase it away, we present to you something that will fill you with only the most natural of highs. It is ten times stronger than any of our other drinks and lasts twice as long: L.O.V.E. Have a shot today and experience the love of Michael Jackson. ***If you experience an immediate sense of peace, joy and contentment, don’t be alarmed that’s the magic of Michael in your system.

Chocolate Covered Mike
CHOCOLATE COVERED MIKE: For those of us with a sweet tooth introducing, Chocolate covered Mike. It’s decadently sweet, addictive, satisfying and unbelievably good for you. It’s just too perfect, OMG!!!!

SANGRE: Other establishments serve Sangria. We serve Sangre. Simply put, this sensually, seductive mixture of perfectly blended fruit, aged wine and just a tinsy weensy drop of Michael’s blood will invade your system and change your personality FOREVER. Undercover cameras captured the woman in the picture above seconds after she took one sip – we are not even sure she had a chance to swallow. Michael NEVER knew what hit him but I hear he was smiling for days afterward. Try it – if you’re woman enough. :devil:
THE FORCE: This drink is served with a resuscitation kit. I don’t’ think I need to say more!

The Prince Royale
THE PRINCE ROYALE: You’re a lady, and you know truthfully that is the only kind of woman who can capture Michael’s heart. You only drink to relax, not to get drunk like some of the lesser women who frequent Da Smooth Criminal. You’re not interested in cheap sex, you want a life time commitment from the object of your affection. Your drink will be served in our finest crystal, the ones etched in gold, on a silver platter in the VIP section of the bar. The smooth and fruity undertones of this vintage wine will peel away the layers of your resistance until you are as free from your inhibitions as any Creamy Mike lover. The only difference is you’ve done it with style. The price of this drink only reflects your superior self-worth. Go ahead splurge. You’re worth it! And Michael will definitely take notice. He enjoys the finer things in life and so do you.

Thug Passion
THUG PASSION: Okay it’s no Michael but you’re strapped for cash. The flavor doesn’t last as long but it’s just a ‘lil something to keep you going until you can get a REAL drink. A favorite of our financially challenged customers. What you see is what you get and damn, come on girls, you have to admit, it looks good as hell.
THE MABHA: A smooth and tangy combination of Sabah and Michael with a twist and zesty kick at the end. Don’t nurse it, ’cause it get’s flat. Drink it while it still has that sizzle!
THE GENTLEMAN WILL stay in you all night and will also be the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning. Now let’s be clear: It’s not a hangover. It’s better than a hangover. It’s a HANG ON I’M CUMIN’.

Cool, milky, deceptively sweet.
THE MIKEGASM: Hands down, our most popular drink! Cool, Milky and deceptively sweet, you won’t see where the bang is coming from but IT WILL hit ya!!!!! What’s worst, you’ll keep ordering it anyway. We can’t explain why it explodes in your mouth, we just know we like it!!!! Make sure you have a designated driver if you start throwing back this one. We’re not going to take responsibility and you WON’T have just one.
MR. M: This is our signature beer. We brew it on the premises but if you’re watching yourself, you can get our light version instead.
MRS. M: The light version of our homemade brew, for our responsible drinkers who also want to make it home in one piece.

Holoma's Soup
HOLOMA’S SOUP: This deceptively potent drink has babies popping up all over the place and since Michael loves da kids, we just can’t take it off the menu. It’s spicy and fruity and served with a strangely cool mist circling up top. Don’t mind the woman in the back hovering over the cauldron. She mixes a big batch of it every morning and though we’ve never asked for a specific list of ingredients, she says that it’s all natural and we trust her!!!

Creamy Mike

Creamy Mike w/ Extra Creme
CREAMY MIKE: (Inspired by Annie) Pure milk chocolate, lightened to perfection with thick, heavy cream and a blend of exotic liqueurs, the taste of this drink will linger in your mouth for hours. You’ll find yourself constantly licking your lips and thinking about it even after you’ve cleaned the last drop out of the glass with your finger. So delicious we naturally prepare two when it’s ordered because everyone gulps them down so quickly. BE WARNED: This drink WILL give you a particularly wicked alcoholic sugar rush. A number of women find it very difficult to keep their legs closed even after one small sip.

The Foreplay
THE FOREPLAY: (Inspired by Martinigirl) Trust me. Looks CAN be deceiving. This seemingly happy go lucky drink will put you flat on your back and keep you there. No matter what you’ve heard YOU ARE NOT READY for this drink. The tangy taste of pineapples smothered in Amaretto and Southern Comfort will knock you right off your feet – literally. Once on your back, you WILL stay there for days . . . and nights. I took this off the menu because I lost a couplah return customers. It’s served with a life size cut out of the Michael pic above. A bunch of people ordered, left and were never seen again.

Golden Boy
THE GOLDEN BOY: (Inspired by Enola) From the moment this Martini came into existence we knew it was special. Inexplicably sliding down your throat like icy cold molten lava, we struggled to formulate an adequate description. Fearing, because the drink was so powerful, that we would face multiple law suits if we put this volatile concoction on our menu we decided in the end it would only be safe to offer ONE drink PER PERSON per LIFE TIME. Ladies, ladies, before you protest, please try and understand: The Martini . . . shakes/stirs itself! (Cue dramatic music) ( O-O )
THE THRILLER — (Inspired by MJQuan) It sizzles, it pops, it dances in your mouth and then it gets down in you and makes you wanna dance, too. One sip, and your hand is up in the air, you’re pursing your lips and saying, “Oooooo”!!! This is our most popular non-alcoholic drink. You can take it all day and never get tired. Enjoy!

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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
*hiccup*
I am proud so to blog drunk to be…
*hiccup*
gimme one creamy Force puleasssss
*oh… that floor looks comfy*
I want one of those exploding things too! Holy moly! :w00t:
Quick, give me a Mikegasm. I think I’ll just be able to gulp it down on my way to dinner.
See you later!
*Sabine runs into the bar after being blasted out of the window, her hair is a mess and her shirt is torn but she’s smiling*
:w00t: I wanna another Mikegasm!!!
Elona enjoy!!!!
hey girls! :blink: Whew…i just took a lit midterm over there in the TTWC room, I need a drink! OOOH Sabine, that Mikegasm looks amazing!!! well worth it honey, fix me one up!!
:lol: Good Lord Martini, on the floor again??? isn’t this what the recovery room was created for? tsk tsk.
:w00t: I’m having my third one!!!! Here put this on
*drapes Gracie with a Raincoat and sticks a plastic rain cap on her*
:w00t: WOW!!! *Gracie licks Mikegasm from her lips and fingers*
Girl, that was just what I needed!!
((HUGS)) and :kissing: :kissing: :kissing:
ummm..do i get to keep the raincoat for next time? it’s kinda flattering :ermm:
*Sabine rushing in from across the street where the Mikegasm blasted her to*
:w00t:
Huuuh, what was that???
Oh the rain coat :cheerful:
Yeah, sure thing!!!
:ermm: I shouldn’t have another one, right?
The guys across the street said they’re going to call the cops if I come through their window one more time
:blush:
:wassat: Hey, how’d you manage to stay inside and drink that?
:lol: how did I stay inside? oh, I just grabbed on to my barstool, honey…like a ship in a storm!!
I’ve got time for one more with you and you know what? This time i’m not holding on!!…..
WHEEEEEEEEE!!
*dives into a bush to avoid being hit by a large object that is flying through the air, going wheeeeeee*
WTH?
A human cannon ball?
*runs into the bar*
WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?
Oh God, Enola, I’m crying i’m laughing so hard :lol: :lol: :silly:
sorry if I frightened you there, did you think it was another sign of the apocalypse? poor thing, first the volcanic cloud and now flying addicts high on Mikegasms!!
Here, hold my hand and we’ll have one together!
OMG! I can’t stop laughing. Another sign of the apocalypse? Oh Gracie, that’s so funny!
Okay, let’s try a double cannon ball!!
:pinch: Ready?
im so scared to read it again, i feel like a virgin with this chapter….
*downs the Mikegasm and flies through the roof of the bar*
Yiiiiiiiii-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
No, Gracie, don’t let go of my haaaaaaand…
OMG! Where did she go?
Oh, no, no, no I’m going down….it’s going to be a crash landing. Heeeeeelp!
*loud crash as Enola reenters the building through the roof*
*entering the bar, leaves and sticks in her hair, rain hat sadly lost)
Enola???? Enola LEe???? Where are you????
Hey Ladies
For some reason I’m kinda in a bit of a sentimental mood again, just having a slow moment remembering Michael and when I thought of him this was the picture that came to mind….
:wub: :heart:
:heart: I want a big shot of L.O.V.E.
Talking about the apocalypse and all earlier just reminded me that maybe it was for the best Michael left. We all might not see him here on earth but we will see him someday.
Michael once said that he wanted to live forever. I was thinking deep and hard just the other day about why he would say that. I think he said that because he was VERY afraid of death and dying, but I think he should have thought that beyond this world there is another world another place and time waiting that is much more fun, carefree and no pain waiting for him. We often think this world is the last stop but it isn’t. Its just one of many stops on this journey to a much better place.
I was thinking how come we can’t seem to remember too much before the age of 5. Like when we were babies, how come we can’t remember just lying there having it all good, having someone doing everything for us. Feeding us, clothing us, not having a care in the world, kinda nice to burp, be messy, and do everything to just have someone come and clean it up for you isn’t it??? Well if we remembered all that pampering, wouldn’t that make us very lazy and spoiled and not want to grow up and explore the world, thinking “hey we already have it so good….so whats the need to explore???” We would miss out on all that fun and never know what was out there, and that would truly be a loss.
I looked at that comment Michael once said in the same way. I thought Michael if you want to live forever, and never want to leave, how will you ever come to know what a more fun place is waiting for you beyond. You must go on to the next level and explore, and for that you have to put your fears of dying to rest.
Sorry kinda went off the deep end. Its late afternoon and I’m drunk on exhaustion.
*looking open-mouthed at the new drinks panel*
oh my I need a drink!
I am in blog .PHP hell and I am getting very frustrated… grrrrrrrrrrr
Okay, so what are you having?
I left a special something for you in the Kimono room, where you’ll be staying tonight!
ohhhhhh I gotta go find it… I am very excited.
I will have a Prince Royal lovely Sabine….
:blink: There’s a Kimono room
I LOOOVE!!! Kimonos
:biggrin: Hey Sabine I want one too, if there isn’t another one, I’ll have to push annie out of it, sorry annie. I’m a bit greedy when it comes to kimonos.
Well, there’s two pictures of Michael in a Kimono in the new story, so that means there’s two Kimono rooms. IF you click the first one, you’ll see what I put in there for Annie.
If you want the second one, let me know and I’ll hook it up for you but I think you better move fast ’cause it looks like Martinigirl just took off outta here!
“Blob.php hell” :wassat: Get the hell outta there, MGirl!!!! That place will make you nuts!
oh you know I want it…
Lemme go look!
oh Sabine – I know – i had it perfect except for one minor item.. that I have been working on since 4PM – I have missed something – so that means I need to reinstall the back up and start again coz I can’t find it…
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
me like
me like
Girl do you ever sleep?
LOL, not if I can help it!
That is how I use to be…
In my teens I use to set my alarm in the middle of the night so I could get up.
My mom said I was always thinking I was gonna miss something…
I was a raging insomniac in my pre teens…
then one day my l was just tired and 11PM was just a memory…
LOL, but I’m not an insomniac! I just don’t seem to go to sleep. I’m always telling myself I will — and I am tired, but there’s so much to DO.
The wonderful thing is when I do lay down, I’m out like a light!
I had a bout of insomnia — lying awake in the bed and longing for sleep was horrible!
Yooohooooo *peeking in*
I’m in desperate need for a shot of l.o.v.e.
Is it Friday yet? Had a long day and need to relax a bit.
Hi Sabine and Martini, how are you two lovely ladies today? :heart:
well hell I may not sleep tonight!
I got my Xampp installed on my desktop and my blog exported…
I am gonna find this FREAKING problem
Ohh, OH – Sabine I have somthing to share – I ahve to email it to you..
but I would love if you wanted to share it with da ladies.. It made my trip home worth while…
lemme go get it to send you!
Hey MsJ soooooooowhat can I get you — a shot or do you see stg else you want frm the menu?
I just sent it.
It i kinda big – but resize as you feel fit if you decide to post it…
hmmmmmmm what to have next
*Waiting by the mail box w/ a bottle of Sangre*
He MsJ… I haven“t seen you in a while..
I am good how are youÉ
uh oh – my keyboard is acting up..
Join us for a shot!
I’ll have multiple shots of love pronto…
I’ve missed you girls, my computer was acting up but it’s good to be back.
righto – here you go honey…
and Chug.. Chug..
I am catching up on all my missed drinking
I’m trying to catch up as well
Okay, now I’ve got the drinks lined up and ready to get tipsy. :wink:
How was your trip BTW?
Ms. Janice, are you going to read the last TTWC or are you Team Sabah? :lol:
*mmmmmorning gurls*
*Enola enters the bar wearing a crash helmet*
Hi everybody!
It’s friday afternoon in my part of the world, so I think it’s okay to have a drink now.
I’m ready to take on the Mikegasm once again. See?
*knocks on her crach helmet*
Enola-kamikaze, you’re too much! LOL
Morning ladies!
Overall to be honest – my tri was good MsJ – I really don’t see my mother that often. Tiem before this last trip was Christmas 07.
It is amazing how face your parents age when you don’t see them for a couple years…
And I got a fancy new car outta the deal… so I can’t complain – but home is where the heart is – so I am glad to be back!
Enola that is my philosophy… it is noon somewhere – so let’s drink!
Annie honey – we gonna get you all set up this weekend – how was your “room” last night?
Good morning
Sabine, do you serve any virgin drinks? It’s a little too early to have alcohol in my system.
That would be the Thriller, but now that you mention it, I need to have a Prince Michael on the menu! : )
TGIF Ms Janice, right!!!!!
Oohhhh, Annie, how was your breakfast this morning? I left it outside of your room.
Kamikaze?
I’ll show you kamikaze!
*makes sure helmet is securely fastened – then yells*
HEY SABINE!
Being the inventor of the Golden Boy, I must say I’m a bit disappointed with the way it looks on the menu.
A light beer? Come on, you know our Golden boy is nothing like a light beer – it’s fire down below!
I have taken the liberty to photoshop a new picture for the menu – I hope you will like it. If not, feel free to throw it right back at me. Just remember, I’m wearing a crash helmet!
Oh, it’s all for L.O.V.E. – of course! :heart:
Here it is:

hey enola, i like that golden boy, but look at the yellow part way at the top, now what does that look like to you? a golden boy… :whistle: :ninja:
MJQuan,
Wow! You’re right!
:w00t:
*nomnomnom – mouth full of different kinds of breakfast*
Well… I slept like a baby (dirty minds uh?!). Thanks Sabine.
MGirl, you tell me. “Set up”?, from what Google translator says me, are you going to do my makeup? *shiny eyes because of emotion*
OMG, Prince Michael coming soon on the menu… yes!
LOL – Enola, I’m really picturing you with your helmet right now!
MsJanice, hi, long time no see!
MJQuan, I really like your new avi! This bar is full of beauties.
Ok, see you all later *blowing kisses to the air*
enola: thats what the crack do to you… lol!!!! nasty, just nasty :devil:
annie, do you see what sabine has done to us…hmm prince michael cumming. :blush: . erm coming soon, :wink: i likes, why thank you for the copliment, i love taking pics, im gonna show you some more soon…. :heart:
im such a wimp, i still havent re-read that chapter, that one in particular really did something to me :blush: :whistle: :devil: :ninja:
ok i really like that golden boy pic enola…. i can just imagine myself swallowing that :blush: “GOLDEN BOY” but i would also like to try it upside down like this :silly: :whistle: :devil: