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15 Mar 2010

Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room

Bar Room, GIFs Pictures, Michael Jackson 5,390 Comments

 

Step Right up and Grab a Drink Before You Get Your Hit. Don’t see what you want?  You can look at all the drinks on the menu individually — just click on the picture!

[itk-eticker]INTRODUCING THE dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA![/itk-eticker]

Have an Idea for a new drink? Please leave a comment and we’ll  see about putting it on the menu!!!!

Sorry about this, but please just give security your I.D. – we don’t want no trouble.

Okay now that you’re in, Look our Bar Room.   :silly:   :cheerful:   Annie Decorated it and I think she’s done a FABULOUS job!!!!! Thanks Annie!!!!

After, if you are still walking, talking and coherent you might want to stop by our gift shop!!!!

N O W   S E R V I N G :

Hey there handsome, excuse me for a minute I’ll be right with ya’

MENU LIST:

N E W  ON  THE  M E N U!:

 

DDD, also served by the bottle

 

Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana

INTRODUCING The dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA:  Some of you addicts have been pretending.  And it’s really not necessary.  When you come into the bar, have a seat.  Your drink has already been prepared.  We’ll even serve you the bottle.  After all, it’s got your name on it.   :yes: :alien:      

Warning: Do NOT Mix this drink with Bad Boy Shots.  We’ve heard some stories, let me tell ya!


Bad Boy Shot

THE BAD BOY SHOT: Let’s face it, you’re not a good girl and you’ve never been one. You need something strong in ya and this big, black bottle IS IT. One shot is usually enough though we at  CCC already know that’s not all you want.  Pure Testosterone, raw masculinity infused with some BAD a$$ attitude – all you need to do is open up, throw this one back and wait for it.

:pouty:     :sick:   Warning  (Drink Responsibly)

MJ

MJ, Too

 MJ: We’ve taken this infusion of all natural MJ bodily extracts and perfectly blended it into this refreshingly, naturally sweet and tangy citrus beverage we all ooooooof course, MJ. And we swear, it taste just like JUICE!  We can’t really explain what it will do to you — experience it for yourself. You’ll understand after your very first swallow.  :whistle:

 

A Wet Sabah -- Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.

A Wet Sabah:  Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.

In honor of our favorite couple’s special night we at CCC have created two special drinks:

CHASTITY and UNLEASHED

Ms. CHASTITY

MS. CHASTITY:  Coy and uninhibited, sweet and sincere. Remember when you were without fear, honest and whole — do you want to feel like that little girl again; do you want to experience, if only for a moment, the blissfulness of youth? Enjoy, Saniia’s Ms. CHASTITY. Experience the quality that captured Michael’s heart. INNOCENCE IS INTOXICATING.

Unleashed

UNLEASHED:   Years of discipline, control and abstinence can only result in one thing: UNLEASHED.  We were there.  We captured it.  We bottled it.  Taste the flavor of unbridled passion.

Liquid CobraCrack™

Liquid CobraCrack ™

LIQUID COBRACRACK There hasn’t been a chapter uploaded for days!   Your internet connection is on the blitz and you can’t find your IPod.  Your family and friends have completely disassociated themselves from you because you’ve become a walking zombie.  Not one of them understands why you’ve been staring at the blank screen of your computer for days now.  But if you don’t get some Michael in you and in you quick, you will just explode!

Due to the number of addicts jonesing outside of CCC we rolled up our sleeves and created this TEMPORARY infusion of Michael in the form of Liquid CobraCrack ™.  Stock up now while supplies last.  Keep some in the back of your fridge, in the garage, under your desk at work and in your nightstand.  Never be without Michael again!!! But Be Warned: Liquid CobraCrack ™ is equally as addictive as the real thing and there is a high likelihood of developing a tolerance very quickly. :sad: You really just can’t replace the real thing!!!!

The cool, refreshing boyish joy of Michael in your glass.

MINTY MIKE:  Inspired by Sonia: We were just goofing off, experimenting when we took Michael’s cool smile, his refreshingly sincere good nature, his boyish charm and added just a dash of delight and to our surprise, POOF!!!   A Minty Mike appeared! One sip and we couldn’t stop laughing!!! Almost scientifically identical to the chemical compound of JOY, this drink will chase away any and all of your blues and put a peppermint — permanent smile on your face. Enjoy!

Creamy Sabah

CREAMY SABAH:   Creamy Chocolate Mike w/ just a hint of Sabah.  We searched high and low for a non-x-rated picture that we could put up and this is what we came up with — WHEWWWW!!!!

 

Pure

Prince Michael’s PURE – Cool, Sweet and light as mist, this magical drink  refreshingly satisfies your craving for Prince Michael without the calories or the alcohol. Passion distilled to its purest form, PURE WILL cure your thirst  . . .  but alas not your desire.  Feel free to drink it all day and all night but be warned, Prince Michael always leaves you wanting more.

:wub: L.O.V.E.:When it comes to shots, we don’t offer anything that is more electrifying.   We are serving the pure essence of Michael. It IS all that he had ever stood for and nothing more.  People who met him basked in its warmth.  It was in his words, his actions, his demeanor, his behavior and most of all, his smile.  He simply exuded it from his pores.   He gave and never asked for anything in return and now we offer the same to you.

If you’re feeling down and you need a pick me up; if you have been hit with a dose of negativity and need something to chase it away, we present to you something that will fill you with only the most natural of highs.  It is ten times stronger than any of our other drinks and lasts twice as long:  L.O.V.E.  Have a shot today and experience the love of Michael Jackson.  ***If you experience an immediate sense of peace, joy and contentment, don’t be alarmed that’s the magic of Michael in your system.

Chocolate Covered Mike

CHOCOLATE COVERED MIKE: For those of us with a sweet tooth introducing, Chocolate covered Mike. It’s decadently sweet, addictive, satisfying and unbelievably good for you. It’s just too perfect, OMG!!!!

 

Sangre
 

SANGRE:  Other establishments serve Sangria. We serve Sangre. Simply put, this sensually, seductive mixture of perfectly blended fruit, aged wine and just a tinsy weensy  drop of Michael’s blood will invade your system and change your personality FOREVER. Undercover cameras captured the woman in the picture above seconds after she took one sip – we are not even sure she had a chance to swallow. Michael NEVER knew what hit him but I hear he was smiling for days afterward. Try it – if you’re woman enough. :devil:

The Force - it has a lot of power!

THE FORCE:  This drink is served with a resuscitation kit.  I don’t’ think I need to say more!

The Prince Royale

THE PRINCE ROYALE: You’re a lady, and  you know truthfully that is the only kind of woman who can capture Michael’s heart. You only drink to relax, not to get drunk like some of the lesser women who frequent Da Smooth Criminal.  You’re not interested in cheap sex, you want a life time commitment from the object of your affection. Your drink will be served in our finest crystal, the ones etched in gold, on a silver platter in the VIP section of the bar. The smooth and fruity undertones of this vintage wine will peel away the layers of your resistance until you are as free from your inhibitions as any Creamy Mike lover. The only difference is you’ve done it with style. The price of this drink only reflects your superior self-worth. Go ahead splurge. You’re worth it! And Michael will definitely take notice.  He  enjoys the finer things in life and so do you.

Thug Passion

THUG PASSION: Okay it’s no Michael but you’re strapped for cash.  The flavor doesn’t last as long but it’s just a ‘lil something to keep you going until you can get a REAL drink.  A favorite of our financially challenged customers.  What you see is what you get and damn, come on girls, you have to admit, it looks good as hell.

THE MABHA * Michael chose the name so excuse the spelling : )

THE MABHA:   A smooth and tangy combination of Sabah and Michael with a twist and zesty kick at the end. Don’t nurse it, ’cause it get’s flat. Drink it while it still has that sizzle!

THE GENTLEMAN

THE GENTLEMAN WILL stay in you all night and will also be the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning. Now let’s be clear: It’s not a hangover. It’s better than a hangover. It’s a HANG ON I’M CUMIN’.

Cool, milky, deceptively sweet.

THE MIKEGASM: Hands down, our most popular drink! Cool, Milky and deceptively sweet, you won’t see where the bang is coming from but IT WILL hit ya!!!!! What’s worst, you’ll keep ordering it anyway. We can’t explain why it explodes in your mouth, we just know we like it!!!! Make sure you have a designated driver if you start throwing back this one. We’re not going to take responsibility and you WON’T have just one.
Mr. M, homebrewed right here at CCC.

Mr. M, Home Brewed Right Here at CCC daily!

MR. M: This is our signature beer. We brew it on the premises but if you’re watching yourself, you can get our light version instead.

Mrs. M, For Our Lady Cowgirls who WANNA remember the good times!

MRS. M: The light version of our homemade brew, for our responsible drinkers who also want to make it home in one piece.

Holoma's Soup

HOLOMA’S SOUP: This deceptively potent drink has babies popping up all over the place and since Michael loves da kids, we just can’t take it off the menu. It’s spicy and fruity and served with a strangely cool mist circling up top. Don’t mind the woman in the back hovering over the cauldron. She mixes a big batch of it every morning and though we’ve never asked for a specific list of ingredients, she says that it’s all natural and we trust her!!!

Creamy Mike

Creamy Mike w/ Extra Creme

CREAMY MIKE:   (Inspired by Annie) Pure milk chocolate, lightened to perfection with thick, heavy cream and a blend of exotic liqueurs, the taste of this drink will linger in your mouth for hours.  You’ll find yourself constantly licking your lips and thinking about it even after you’ve cleaned the last drop out of the glass with your finger.  So delicious we naturally prepare two when it’s ordered because everyone gulps them down so quickly.  BE WARNED:  This drink WILL give you a particularly wicked alcoholic sugar rush.  A number of women find it very difficult to keep their legs closed even after one small sip.

The Foreplay

THE FOREPLAY:  (Inspired by Martinigirl)  Trust me.  Looks CAN be deceiving. This seemingly happy go lucky drink will put you flat on your back and keep you there.  No matter what you’ve heard YOU ARE NOT READY for this drink.  The tangy taste of pineapples smothered in Amaretto and Southern Comfort will knock you right off your feet – literally.  Once on your back, you WILL stay there for days . . . and nights.  I took this off the menu because I lost a couplah return customers.  It’s served with a life size cut out of the Michael pic above.  A bunch of people ordered, left and were never seen again.

Golden Boy

THE GOLDEN BOY: (Inspired by Enola) From the moment this Martini came into existence we knew it was special. Inexplicably sliding down your throat like icy cold molten lava, we struggled to formulate an adequate description. Fearing, because the drink was so powerful, that we would face multiple law suits if we put this volatile concoction on our menu we decided in the end it would only be safe to offer ONE drink PER PERSON per LIFE TIME. Ladies, ladies, before you protest, please try and understand:  The Martini  . . .  shakes/stirs itself! (Cue dramatic music) ( O-O )

The Thriller

THE THRILLER — (Inspired by MJQuan) It sizzles, it pops, it dances in your mouth and then it gets down in you and makes you wanna dance, too.  One sip, and your  hand is up in the air, you’re pursing your lips and saying, “Oooooo”!!! This is our most popular non-alcoholic drink.  You can take it all day and never get tired.  Enjoy!

 

5,390 Responses to “Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room”

  1. AnniesNotOK says:

    3AM and still “UPACKING”(?)…
    :cwy:

  2. MartiniGirl says:

    oh honey… I see delivered… but I don’t see anything…

    you shush… you will fit in my suitcase….

    bahahaha…. gimmie

  3. MartiniGirl says:

    LOL @ Annie…
    I am afraid to tell you…

    you
    are
    addicted!
    3AM

  4. AnniesNotOK says:

    I’m gonna die, narcoleptic shock that is. And uh tomorrow… well, today already,… why oh why I decided to check the site before going to sleep
    :cwy:

  5. MartiniGirl says:

    that is like me last time…
    but then I could not wait anymore…
    and I when I awoke the chapter was up… and da addicts where indulging… like vampires!

  6. MartiniGirl says:

    ACK – Annie it is up..

    Up!

  7. AnniesNotOK says:

    OMG, I’m dying here

  8. MJQuan: says:

    mgirl i think im going to live. But seriously all i think about is mj 24/7 to a point when i just lose Consious. But i still was thinking about him passed out. Im the one who needs a shrink.

  9. Sabine says:

    Hi Annnieee!!! Hi everyone.

    *comes in with a can of LCC*

    Can you believe I’m finished? It’s not 3:00 a.m. here but :lol: I’m so happy . . . .

    :pouty:

    :cwy:

  10. Frodes says:

    *crawls into the bar on all fours*

    Okay, I need…. something. Anything.

    I know that I’m not Sanaii but I feel like Prince Michael just totally rocked my world.

    Somebody, please help. A drink. Any drink.

    Quench my desire.

    :wub: :w00t: :blush: :cheerful: :devil: :heart: :kissing: :sideways: :silly: :smile: :wink:

  11. Sabine says:

    *Calls out to Frodes from behind the bar*

    Did you know if you drink 10 glasses of pure straight, you can have one heck of a Mikegasm? :wink:

  12. AnniesNotOK says:

    FrodesIsNotOk!!! LOL

    10 glasses of Pure for me, please…
    :whistle:

  13. EnolaLee says:

    Jussst thought I’d drop by Za Bar for a quick zink, eh drink…
    Excuze me girlsss, let me get out of da car, okay?
    MIIIICHAEEEEL, honey, I want what she had…that Zaniiiiia gurl…ooopsie daisy…I must be a tit uh…bit, drunk on LOVE. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

  14. Katie says:

    :sick: :silly: :biggrin: Omegosh, how did you find that picture of me, EnolaLee, I thought I burned them all…

  15. Sabine says:

    Good lord, I hope someone is able to help that poor girl off the floor!!!!!

    Hi my lovely addicts!!!!!

    How are you guys today!

    Ahhhh, love is in the air — everyone is floating on cloud 9, especially me!!!!!

    :wub: :heart: :cheerful:

  16. Sabine says:

    In honor of this new chapter, I changed the first song just for now

    :happy: tee-hee

    If you listen to it, you’ll know why!!

    :whistle:

    Why I love you — gotta to have you — I need you right now :silly:

    The end is my favorite :smile:

  17. MartiniGirl says:

    :blush:
    :blush:
    :blush:
    :blush:
    :blush:
    :blush:

    i am happy – but speechless.. – happilyspeechless – sappilyhpeechless

    BREAK

  18. Sabine says:

    Sappilyhpeechless LOL!!!

  19. Gracie says:

    good grief ! no addicts at da bar?! even MartiniGirl is speechless?!?! :w00t: guess everyone is “basking in da afterglow”! hmmmm…

    well, you know what they say…if ya can’t beat ’em, join ’em….i’m just gonna fix myself a tall Creamy Mike and head over to enjoy the chapter again!

  20. MartiniGirl says:

    I can’t drink and ride…
    I mean drink and dive…

    Oh I am so hap, hap happy… sappy…
    *sigh*

  21. Sabine says:

    *Looking up from reading my comments with a big smile*

    Hi Gracie!

  22. msjanice305 says:

    Yoohooooooooooo

    It’s awfully quiet in here.

    Dropping in for a Sangre.

  23. Sabine says:

    Hey MsJanice, all of the addicts are in a state of bliss!

  24. msjanice305 says:

    Sabine- I’ve noticed.

    I’m heading over to TTWC to see what all the commotion is about.

    *grabs another glass of Sangre*

    Martini- if you’re in here, I’ve received your email honey.

  25. Sabine says:

    Oooo, can’t wait.
    Ms. J, :lol: That last line, reminds me of some place

    :happy:

  26. Sabine says:

    Ugggh, it’s so quiet! Oh, well . . .

  27. MartiniGirl says:

    *stretch*
    *waving to her mama*
    morning boss..

    you must be beaming..
    not ONE unsatisfied customer in da house…

    I need something to get my energy up – I am still wasted from the da love making… I think I will take a Mahba

    Oh goodie MsJ!
    Oh Enola honey – pick your self up girl…. ha-ha!

    Happy day addicts.

  28. Sabine says:

    Hey morning MGirl, yep, the sweet sound of satisifed addicts :smile:

  29. Gracie says:

    *sigh*…*yawn*….

    good morning MGirl, Sabine, …it’s a cold and dark rainy day here…i need something to pep me up a little….a Big Gulp of L.O.V.E. should do…that’s the closest thing to liquid sunshine there is!

    …hey has anyone heard from Enola since she fell out of the car yesterday?…that looks bad, i’m a bit worried about her.

    …MartiniGirl, did you see i left you comments on BTG? :biggrin:

    …Sabine, it’s like you put us in a trance girl! no one drinking, no one begging for a hit…we’ve all been sated. It feels so calm and peaceful here in da afterglow….so calm…so peaceful…so calm…

    *Gracie slaps her cheek* Snap out of it woman!!

    *gulping down the L.O.V.E.* …off to the morning round of errands and crap! have a good day everyone!

  30. EnolaLee says:

    Hi ladies,
    I’m okay.
    Just a little embarrassed… :blush:

    I don’t know what I was thinking. Driving around like that, high on L.O.V.E.

  31. Gracie says:

    awww, Enola, glad you are okay…don’t be embarrassed, we’ve all done crazy stuff when high on L.O.V.E.! I bet you have one hell of a headache though! :lol:

    here, let me buy you a Thriller and a chocolate covered Mike…you better take it easy today.

  32. EnolaLee says:

    Awwww, Gracie…you are sooooooo sweet.
    No, headache, I swear!

    Eeeeh, wait a minute… a Thriller and a Chocolate Covered Mike… is that taking it easy?

  33. MartiniGirl says:

    what up boss?
    Helllllllllllooooooo
    anybody here?

    MGirl is looking for something to sate her cravings… I am thirsty!

  34. MartiniGirl says:

    *tapping my fingers on da bar*
    Hmmm looks like it is just you and me…. Golden Boy!

    Here let me put you in my drink cozy… and walk around da house.

  35. Sabine says:

    LOL! We have two Annies!

    :wassat:

    hi Annie honey — what are you seeing, girl?

    MGirl, what are you having today?

    Something sweet and innocent? :angel:

  36. Sabine says:

    Ooops Mgirl, little Mickey just jumped out of your drink and ran under the bar!!!!

    :happy:

  37. MartiniGirl says:

    we are online at the same time!
    *I bow in your esteemed presence*

    Yeah… sweet and innocent… what do we got that is that?
    I mean besides me??

  38. msjanice305 says:

    Hey gals

    What are you up to?

    I haven’t had a Golden Boy in so long….mmm :tongue:

    Sabine you are all over the place girl

  39. Sabine says:

    Girl you know you are far from sweet in innocent!

    :ermm:

    We can mix hm, PURE, L.O.V.E.drop it into a Mikegasm and then stand back and see what happens . . .

  40. Frodes says:

    I like the idea of “seeing what happens”.

    Okay. I’m gonna now and “attempt” to write a review on a chapter that pretty much has me speechless so I don’t know how well it’s going to turn out. But it’ll be a review, nonetheless.

    Wish me luck.

  41. MartiniGirl says:

    tsk I am so innoncent… and pure… in spirit!

    Hello Ms.J – welcome to the WildCobra Addiction..
    Tis crazy how that cobra drew up in…

    Frodes, I love you reviews… and I can’t wait to read it.
    good luck… you can do it.

    okay mix’em up – let’s get the party started and see what happens!

  42. MartiniGirl says:

    tsk I am so innoncent… and pure… in spirit!

    Hello Ms.J – welcome to the WildCobra Addiction..
    Tis crazy how that cobra drew up in…

    Frodes, I love your reviews… and I can’t wait to read it.
    good luck… you can do it.

    okay mix’em up – let’s get the party started and see what happens!

  43. MartiniGirl says:

    see… I must be innocent… it postd twice…

    :whistle:

  44. Sabine says:

    Ha, ha, methinks thoust insist too much. That’s why it posted twice. I think I’ll leave it like that

    :biggrin:

    Girl, innocent people don’t go around saying they’re innocent :wink:

    Okay bottoms up! Love a girl who likes to experiment!

    Ooooo, a Frodes review is on it’s way AND the last episode of Lost is coming on tonight! Wow, tonight is a BIG night!!!!!

  45. MartiniGirl says:

    you are funny
    bottoms up my lord.

    Oh goodness another LOST fan… hehehe you are getting all the LOVE tonight girl!

    I was just over reading the chapter
    :blush:

  46. Frodes says:

    MartiniGirl I don’t blame you!!! I’ve read it 5 times now!!!

    Review is done, Sabine!!!

    And I LOVE LOST TOO!!! But DON’T give anything away because believe it or not, I have not seen any of season 5 or 6!!! I know, I know. It’s because of all of my traveling. When you stay in hostels and there is only one tv room, you don’t always get to watch what you want. And there aren’t TV’s in the rooms either. So I’ve been left out of the loop when it comes to LOST. BUT… I have been successful in not having it spoiled for me so I’d like to keep it that way. My friend has all of season 5 on her PS3 and I just watched the first episode earlier today. Lots of catch up to do!!!

    Started my diet again, today. Ugh. I know it’s for the best because I feel better when I’m on it, but it’s hard to get back into the routine once you’ve left it for awhile. And I even did a short workout. But I did that mostly to get my mind off of the latest chapter cause lately my mind has only been on sex. And Michael. And those two things together, although a good thing, can also be extremely frustrating. LOL!!!

    God, I’m such a loser. :blink:

  47. MartiniGirl says:

    here you are!

    And I was over at the chapter reading your review and tell ign you to get your ass ot da bar.

    L.O.V.E. Shot?

    my goodness girlie – I can give you a really good diet – not too hard , pfretty easy to stick to… take the fat off you tummy in no time..

    but let’s drink first!

  48. Sabine says:

    Frodes, girl, no talk like that in dar bar!!!!!

    Shamone now. And Am I hearing that dreaded word DIE – it!!!!

    Me no likey that word!

    Loving and accepting ourselves no matter what size is where it is AT !!!! Confidence starts in our cabessa, and take it from me, been their done that.

    The virtual drinks are where its at, too !!!! So pass me that L.O.V.E shot will ya!

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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a . . man.”

(Spike to Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

“I just hope that one day they will be fair and portray me the way I really am, just a loving and peaceful guy.” ~ Michael
"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare

"----->His intelligence is instinctual and emotional, like a child’s. If any artist loses that childlikeness, you lose a lot of creative juice. So Michael creates around himself a world that protects his creativity”. ~ Jane Fonda

WARNING: NOT JUST MJ fanfic - NO! It's Cobracrack®. It's better than plain Michael Jackson fan fiction and highly addictive!! One hit and you will be unable to function without yet another and another. Taking a hit of Cobracrack® while looking at a Michael Jackson picture can also prove fatal. At the very least you might experience an extremely intense Mikegasm that will leave you unable to be satisfied by any other man in your lifetime. READER BEWARE!!!! 18 over, please, though age doesn't matter. It's not the adult content that's going to get you, it's the force of MICHAEL! CobraCrackCentral® is not liable for any failed tests, lost jobs or broken relationships. Married women are particular at risk. Common side effects: Reading stories over and over; referring to characters as if they are real people; intense dislike for corny Michael Jackson fan fiction; Insatiable demand for sex; inability to sleep or function due to an infection of the EXTREMELY contagious virus: OvahXspojer (staring at MJ pics for hours at a time and imagining yourself in the scenes from the stories).

If you experience any of these symptoms close your lap top/pull the plug from your computer IMMEDIATELY!

Reader Discretion is highly advised CobraCrackCentral, uh, NOT just MJ Fan Fiction