15
Mar
2010
Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room
Step Right up and Grab a Drink Before You Get Your Hit. Don’t see what you want? You can look at all the drinks on the menu individually — just click on the picture!
[itk-eticker]INTRODUCING THE dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA![/itk-eticker]
Have an Idea for a new drink? Please leave a comment and we’ll see about putting it on the menu!!!!
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A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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MJ
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Bad Boy Shot
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Ms. Chastity
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Chocolate Mike
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Liquid CobraCrack™
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Creamy Mike
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Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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DDD, also served by the bottle
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Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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Holoma’s Soup
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Holoma’s Soup
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L.O.V.E. Shot
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Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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Mikegasm
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Minty Mike
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Mr. M & Mrs. M
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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Prince Royale
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Prince Michael’s Pure
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Sangre
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The Force
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The Foreplay
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The Gentleman
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The Thriller
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Thug Passion
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- A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
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- MJ
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- Bad Boy Shot
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- Ms. Chastity
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- Chocolate Mike
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- Liquid CobraCrack™
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- Creamy Mike
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- Creamy Mike w/ Strawberry Sabah’s Fave
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- Creamy Mike w/ Chocolate – Sabah loves it!
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- Creamy Orgasm (Mikegasm +Creamy Mike)
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- Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
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- DDD, also served by the bottle
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- Golden Boy – Lil Mike mixes/stirs
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- Holoma’s Soup
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- Holoma’s Soup
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- L.O.V.E. Shot
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- Mahba Mike + Sabah, a Perfect Combo
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- Mikegasm
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- Minty Mike
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- Mr. M & Mrs. M
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- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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- Prince Michael’s Unleashed
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- Prince Royale
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- Prince Michael’s Pure
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- Sangre
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- The Force
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- The Foreplay
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- The Gentleman
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- The Thriller
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- Thug Passion
Sorry about this, but please just give security your I.D. – we don’t want no trouble.
Okay now that you’re in, Look our Bar Room. :silly: :cheerful: Annie Decorated it and I think she’s done a FABULOUS job!!!!! Thanks Annie!!!!
After, if you are still walking, talking and coherent you might want to stop by our gift shop!!!!
N O W S E R V I N G :
Hey there handsome, excuse me for a minute I’ll be right with ya’ 
MENU LIST:
N E W ON THE M E N U!:
DDD, also served by the bottle
Dirty Dirty Dirty Diana
INTRODUCING The dirty, Dirty, DIRTY DIANA: Some of you addicts have been pretending. And it’s really not necessary. When you come into the bar, have a seat. Your drink has already been prepared. We’ll even serve you the bottle. After all, it’s got your name on it. :yes: :alien:
Warning: Do NOT Mix this drink with Bad Boy Shots. We’ve heard some stories, let me tell ya!
Bad Boy Shot
THE BAD BOY SHOT: Let’s face it, you’re not a good girl and you’ve never been one. You need something strong in ya and this big, black bottle IS IT. One shot is usually enough though we at CCC already know that’s not all you want. Pure Testosterone, raw masculinity infused with some BAD a$$ attitude – all you need to do is open up, throw this one back and wait for it.
:pouty: :sick: Warning (Drink Responsibly)
MJ
- MJ, Too
MJ: We’ve taken this infusion of all natural MJ bodily extracts and perfectly blended it into this refreshingly, naturally sweet and tangy citrus beverage we all ooooooof course, MJ. And we swear, it taste just like JUICE! We can’t really explain what it will do to you — experience it for yourself. You’ll understand after your very first swallow. :whistle:
A Wet Sabah -- Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
A Wet Sabah: Creamy Sabah w/ just a hint of Michael in her.
In honor of our favorite couple’s special night we at CCC have created two special drinks:
CHASTITY and UNLEASHED
Ms. CHASTITY
MS. CHASTITY: Coy and uninhibited, sweet and sincere. Remember when you were without fear, honest and whole — do you want to feel like that little girl again; do you want to experience, if only for a moment, the blissfulness of youth? Enjoy, Saniia’s Ms. CHASTITY. Experience the quality that captured Michael’s heart. INNOCENCE IS INTOXICATING.
Unleashed
UNLEASHED: Years of discipline, control and abstinence can only result in one thing: UNLEASHED. We were there. We captured it. We bottled it. Taste the flavor of unbridled passion.
Liquid CobraCrack™
Liquid CobraCrack ™
LIQUID COBRACRACK™ There hasn’t been a chapter uploaded for days! Your internet connection is on the blitz and you can’t find your IPod. Your family and friends have completely disassociated themselves from you because you’ve become a walking zombie. Not one of them understands why you’ve been staring at the blank screen of your computer for days now. But if you don’t get some Michael in you and in you quick, you will just explode!
Due to the number of addicts jonesing outside of CCC we rolled up our sleeves and created this TEMPORARY infusion of Michael in the form of Liquid CobraCrack ™. Stock up now while supplies last. Keep some in the back of your fridge, in the garage, under your desk at work and in your nightstand. Never be without Michael again!!! But Be Warned: Liquid CobraCrack ™ is equally as addictive as the real thing and there is a high likelihood of developing a tolerance very quickly. :sad: You really just can’t replace the real thing!!!!
The cool, refreshing boyish joy of Michael in your glass.
MINTY MIKE: Inspired by Sonia: We were just goofing off, experimenting when we took Michael’s cool smile, his refreshingly sincere good nature, his boyish charm and added just a dash of delight and to our surprise, POOF!!! A Minty Mike appeared! One sip and we couldn’t stop laughing!!! Almost scientifically identical to the chemical compound of JOY, this drink will chase away any and all of your blues and put a peppermint — permanent smile on your face. Enjoy!
Creamy Sabah
CREAMY SABAH: Creamy Chocolate Mike w/ just a hint of Sabah. We searched high and low for a non-x-rated picture that we could put up and this is what we came up with — WHEWWWW!!!!
Pure
Prince Michael’s PURE – Cool, Sweet and light as mist, this magical drink refreshingly satisfies your craving for Prince Michael without the calories or the alcohol. Passion distilled to its purest form, PURE WILL cure your thirst . . . but alas not your desire. Feel free to drink it all day and all night but be warned, Prince Michael always leaves you wanting more.
:wub: L.O.V.E.:When it comes to shots, we don’t offer anything that is more electrifying. We are serving the pure essence of Michael. It IS all that he had ever stood for and nothing more. People who met him basked in its warmth. It was in his words, his actions, his demeanor, his behavior and most of all, his smile. He simply exuded it from his pores. He gave and never asked for anything in return and now we offer the same to you.
If you’re feeling down and you need a pick me up; if you have been hit with a dose of negativity and need something to chase it away, we present to you something that will fill you with only the most natural of highs. It is ten times stronger than any of our other drinks and lasts twice as long: L.O.V.E. Have a shot today and experience the love of Michael Jackson. ***If you experience an immediate sense of peace, joy and contentment, don’t be alarmed that’s the magic of Michael in your system.
Chocolate Covered Mike
CHOCOLATE COVERED MIKE: For those of us with a sweet tooth introducing, Chocolate covered Mike. It’s decadently sweet, addictive, satisfying and unbelievably good for you. It’s just too perfect, OMG!!!!
- Sangre
SANGRE: Other establishments serve Sangria. We serve Sangre. Simply put, this sensually, seductive mixture of perfectly blended fruit, aged wine and just a tinsy weensy drop of Michael’s blood will invade your system and change your personality FOREVER. Undercover cameras captured the woman in the picture above seconds after she took one sip – we are not even sure she had a chance to swallow. Michael NEVER knew what hit him but I hear he was smiling for days afterward. Try it – if you’re woman enough. :devil:
The Force - it has a lot of power!
THE FORCE: This drink is served with a resuscitation kit. I don’t’ think I need to say more!
The Prince Royale
THE PRINCE ROYALE: You’re a lady, and you know truthfully that is the only kind of woman who can capture Michael’s heart. You only drink to relax, not to get drunk like some of the lesser women who frequent Da Smooth Criminal. You’re not interested in cheap sex, you want a life time commitment from the object of your affection. Your drink will be served in our finest crystal, the ones etched in gold, on a silver platter in the VIP section of the bar. The smooth and fruity undertones of this vintage wine will peel away the layers of your resistance until you are as free from your inhibitions as any Creamy Mike lover. The only difference is you’ve done it with style. The price of this drink only reflects your superior self-worth. Go ahead splurge. You’re worth it! And Michael will definitely take notice. He enjoys the finer things in life and so do you.
Thug Passion
THUG PASSION: Okay it’s no Michael but you’re strapped for cash. The flavor doesn’t last as long but it’s just a ‘lil something to keep you going until you can get a REAL drink. A favorite of our financially challenged customers. What you see is what you get and damn, come on girls, you have to admit, it looks good as hell.
THE MABHA * Michael chose the name so excuse the spelling : )
THE MABHA: A smooth and tangy combination of Sabah and Michael with a twist and zesty kick at the end. Don’t nurse it, ’cause it get’s flat. Drink it while it still has that sizzle!
THE GENTLEMAN
THE GENTLEMAN WILL stay in you all night and will also be the first thing you feel when you wake up in the morning. Now let’s be clear: It’s not a hangover. It’s better than a hangover. It’s a HANG ON I’M CUMIN’.
Cool, milky, deceptively sweet.
THE MIKEGASM: Hands down, our most popular drink! Cool, Milky and deceptively sweet, you won’t see where the bang is coming from but IT WILL hit ya!!!!! What’s worst, you’ll keep ordering it anyway. We can’t explain why it explodes in your mouth, we just know we like it!!!! Make sure you have a designated driver if you start throwing back this one. We’re not going to take responsibility and you WON’T have just one.
Mr. M, Home Brewed Right Here at CCC daily!
MR. M: This is our signature beer. We brew it on the premises but if you’re watching yourself, you can get our light version instead.
Mrs. M, For Our Lady Cowgirls who WANNA remember the good times!
MRS. M: The light version of our homemade brew, for our responsible drinkers who also want to make it home in one piece.
Holoma's Soup
HOLOMA’S SOUP: This deceptively potent drink has babies popping up all over the place and since Michael loves da kids, we just can’t take it off the menu. It’s spicy and fruity and served with a strangely cool mist circling up top. Don’t mind the woman in the back hovering over the cauldron. She mixes a big batch of it every morning and though we’ve never asked for a specific list of ingredients, she says that it’s all natural and we trust her!!!
Creamy Mike
Creamy Mike w/ Extra Creme
CREAMY MIKE: (Inspired by Annie) Pure milk chocolate, lightened to perfection with thick, heavy cream and a blend of exotic liqueurs, the taste of this drink will linger in your mouth for hours. You’ll find yourself constantly licking your lips and thinking about it even after you’ve cleaned the last drop out of the glass with your finger. So delicious we naturally prepare two when it’s ordered because everyone gulps them down so quickly. BE WARNED: This drink WILL give you a particularly wicked alcoholic sugar rush. A number of women find it very difficult to keep their legs closed even after one small sip.
The Foreplay
THE FOREPLAY: (Inspired by Martinigirl) Trust me. Looks CAN be deceiving. This seemingly happy go lucky drink will put you flat on your back and keep you there. No matter what you’ve heard YOU ARE NOT READY for this drink. The tangy taste of pineapples smothered in Amaretto and Southern Comfort will knock you right off your feet – literally. Once on your back, you WILL stay there for days . . . and nights. I took this off the menu because I lost a couplah return customers. It’s served with a life size cut out of the Michael pic above. A bunch of people ordered, left and were never seen again.
Golden Boy
THE GOLDEN BOY: (Inspired by Enola) From the moment this Martini came into existence we knew it was special. Inexplicably sliding down your throat like icy cold molten lava, we struggled to formulate an adequate description. Fearing, because the drink was so powerful, that we would face multiple law suits if we put this volatile concoction on our menu we decided in the end it would only be safe to offer ONE drink PER PERSON per LIFE TIME. Ladies, ladies, before you protest, please try and understand: The Martini . . . shakes/stirs itself! (Cue dramatic music) ( O-O )
The Thriller
THE THRILLER — (Inspired by MJQuan) It sizzles, it pops, it dances in your mouth and then it gets down in you and makes you wanna dance, too. One sip, and your hand is up in the air, you’re pursing your lips and saying, “Oooooo”!!! This is our most popular non-alcoholic drink. You can take it all day and never get tired. Enjoy!
5,390 Responses to “Da Smooth Criminal Bar Room”
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"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
(Spike to Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." W. Shakespeare
"----->His intelligence is instinctual and emotional, like a child’s. If any artist loses that childlikeness, you lose a lot of creative juice. So Michael creates around himself a world that protects his creativity”. ~ Jane Fonda
oooooooo…i’ll second that “WOW!”….just beautiful :wub: thanks MG
Enola, help yourself ! cookies are like air, they’re for everyone!…A threesome with a Creamy Mike?…you naughty girl. :wink: let me know how that goes!
uh oh… you are all by yourself…
heheheh
not anymore…
damn martini… unsubscribe silly girl…
hey girl, didn’t you have something important todo?…what was it now?…”schmork” or something?…yeah that was it “work schmork”!
drink?
Oh, MartiniGirl,
I don’t think I ever saw that picture before. So handsome!
And there’s my favorite spot on his body…. Hi, favorite spot! Can I kiss you? :wub:
The threesome is highly recommendable, Gracie. :wink:
Later I might try what your cookies are like if they are accompanied by a Creamy Mike with chocolate….
No wait, I think I’ll have a go at that combination right away.
In Annie style! *nomonomonom*
*sneaking in*
yeah gimme one mama..
I want another cookie too!
Geez why can’t I find the unsubscribe button…
OYE!
Okay last drink for a little bit – REALLY – I have to go!
Hey girls, popping in to say hi. Sex in the City, i never watched ONE episode. The only show i ever got into on HBO was Carnivale, which they freakin’ cancelled after the third season. I hardly watched the Sopranos and what was the other one — Six Feet Under. Thing is I don’t watch T.V. so I always forget when the shows are on.
Usually how I get hooked it they’ll be doing one of those marthon days, where they show like an old season back to back, and then if it’s good writing, well . . . .
Hi everyone, hi Colette, I actually found that picture on a site and there’s more but the other ones are really crappy…
here’s the link to that site if you want to see the rest of the photos:
http://starlights-graphics.de/index.php
Hi Bella! :smile:
hi Sabine, how are you?
YIPPEE!
It is time to go home, roll around on the floor with da puppies, have a nice big sour apple martini, and sit on my deck with my laptop waiting for my delivery of CRACK!!
Whoop, Whoop… Uh – I feel another 90s sing song coming on…
I’m super! And doing what you like best :whistle:
boss!
Are you rolling on da floor with my puppies?
I like that best…
OH wait – you are doing what I / WE LIKE you doing best??
*thud*
whoop there it is…
:blush:
Hey is anyone else having a problem commenting? LOL! I guess if you are that means you won’t reply!!!!! I don’t know what’s going on. . . :w00t: HELP!
lemme try again boss – the page is loading better
WTf “your comments are coming too fast, slow down” Um, this is the BOSS talking website PUT MY COMMENT UP. Okay I’m logged out and commenting — can anyone see me!!!?!?!?!!?
I see you Mgirl, anyone else please just say HI :smile:
I don’t know if it’s the 2,814 comments! O-O If anyone else has a problem commenting (you comment and your comment doesn’t appear, please send me an email) Thanks Mgirl for the heads up. I was KNOCKED OUT!
Maybe I should create a new bar room Post?
whew… I was scared!
I am wondering if it is the google friend connect – I logged out and logged back in.. and viola
I have had to do that a couple of times the last week or so… but i always post.
Yeah – you might have to retire this one – just for reading – that is a lot of comments!
what can I say – we like to drink!
Sometimes Google is refreshing their system and you’ll notice google connect and the ads are all outta wack.
Okay, I’ll make a “new” bar room. If anyone is looking for this one “prior comments” just look for Bar Room, they’ll be this one and the new one will be .2
:wink:
It’s like being behind a locked door, Right Mgirl! :lol:
ohhhhhhh I like.
As blog drunk I will take that last swig in dis bar!
here you go boss..
Golden Boy? : )
I just wanted to pop in and say, wow, this page has a LOT of comments!!!! I hope everyone is doing great xoxo (:
Thanks for posting the link Bella, your right they are not very good :lol:
Hi Maria I don’t think I’ve seen you before *waves* welcome to CCC
YAWWWWWWWNNNN!!!! Unfortunately Musicnme, yes!!!! Up all night labelling packages!!!
I fell alseep on a box and what no shipment yet?
:wassat:
This is horrible — I’ll have to make a few phone calls!!!!
:face:
Oh, by the way, Maria has been here from the very beginning, Colette!!!!! She just looks so cute now with her new AVI you probably thought she’s someone else.
:lol: I can’t keep track of everyone
Okay, we’re back here for now!!! Short of uploading all the drinks again, I can’t figure out how to make them appear in the new bar.
:sad: Why didn’t anyone tell me!!!!!
Sooooooooo until I have a couple hours to waste re-uploading everything or I figure out a trick, let’s try and drink it up in our old spot!!!!!
Hopefully no kinks! We’re almost at 3,000 comments!!!!! :whistle: :angel:
*damn*
I must of drank more than usual…
how did I get back here?
I saw the drinks… in da old bar – oh well I can drink anywhere!
I think you can archive comments my queen… and still keep the count
Happy Tuesday Addicts!
Ahh, archive — I thought that was some kind of h’orderves or something :lol:
Good morning addicts! so the OLD bar is the NEW bar? whatever….just glad to be back at any bar! :biggrin:
HI MGirl…it’s Tuesday?.. :wassat: oh yeah, damn holiday weekends always do that to me!
well ladies, had a really busy weekend so today is recovery day….I need a couple shots of L.O.V.E…and someone to share them with.
Hi Sabine, I have had Michael and Sabah on my mind…i only got through the chapter once and i just feel ..uneasy. I have to try to get back over there sometime today and see if i can work it out. OMG, the new poll! :lol: LOL! definitely not ready to vote yet!
Hi Gracie,
Can I pass as a drinking companion?
Interesting that you feel uneasy after reading the chapter. I felt the same way.
Hi Enola! how is my favorite Danish drinking buddy? (yes, you are the only one i know but that doesn’t mean i love you any less!)
UGH! i just came back from a walk and i had forgotten that even though it’s Tuesday, today was trash pick-up day because we had a holiday yesterday which is NORMALLY trash day so I NEVER go for walks on Mondays because of that. well, i already had the kids and the stroller out the door when i realized my mistake so we went anyway but YUCK! :sick: we only walked around 2 blocks, i couldn’t wait to get home!
I need a few “pffts” of HALO mist to get the garbage smell out of my brain!
E, i haven’t been back to that chapter yet but i read a few comments and it looks like others are a bit worried too. I so hope everything works out ok but i don’t feel like they are at a really good place right now, individually and with each other. it’s gonna be a real nail biter! :unsure:
Must be some garbage you have over there!! LOL!
So how ’bout a shot of L.O.V.E.? Maybe that will help too?
Nail biter? Absolutely! Soon I’ll have no fingers left.
ahhhhhh, L.O.V.E makes everything better, doesn’t it?..and the best part is you can never have too much!
AMEN!
Let’s wash the garbage out of your system. Cheers!
What this?
Two addicts downing LOVE shots and leaving nothing @ da bar for the blog drunk.
Hmmmm…
*using her secret magic trick*
ZAPP!!
Look, here’s a shot of L.O.V.E. for you too, MartiniGirl!
whoop.. there it is…
*doing a little dance*
Damn Enola, are you a genie?LOL! I just picutred you crossing your arms and blinking and “zapp!” shots on the bar! :lol:
Hey MGirl…don’t you know the OTHER best part about the L.O.V.E.??? ….it’s never-ending!!! as soon as you pour some out the bottle it just fills right back up! truly magical stuff
:happy: how are you today? oh, looks like you are doing a little happy dance! getting all the right beans in the right columns?
Hiya Mama!
Nope the bean has spilled all over the floor… I gotta be careful I might slip and fall
I was just so happy to see you both!
A genie? Now wouldn’t that be nice!
I would make little Michaels pop up all over the place! :angel:
POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!
*6 different versions of Michael pop up in the bar*
Oops! Did I do that?
I have to figure out a way to get them back where they came from… Hmmm…
Not sure I want to really. I mean, look at them!
Thanks for not assuming I came here on a broom by the way. :whistle:
Listen, about the Michaels, I have to warn you.
Do not feed them after dark and make sure they do not get wet…
If you do, they will…
Okay, I will have to tell you some other day. I really have to go.
Have a nice day, ladies.
:biggrin:
Ha-HA! Enola, here is a cute little poem my mom sent me a while ago…you just made me think of it!:
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings,
We simply continue to fly… on a broomstick.
We’re flexible like that. :lol:
oh my …all those cute little Mikes!…now i’m thinking of Mickey with his little mops in the Sorcerer’s Apprentice!…you better get things under control here before Sabine sees this! :lol:
awww MGirl, beans all over the place?!?!…now you sound like me on bill-pay day!! :lol: happy to see you too girl…i missed you guys!
’til we meet again…*waving bye*
Okay, okay…
The little Michaels are completely harmless, but if you feed them or if they get wet they will all be like this:
If you want to get rid of the BAD ones, just remember this:
A kiss and a roll in the hay will make a BAD era Michael go away.
Whoops, it’s a stampede!
No, I told you not to… nooooo not the super soaker!
I guess I have to attribute it to how good the drinks are at the bar . . . .
:ermm: or how drunk you guys are!
Didn’t you notice the NEW drink on the Menu?????
And OMG, who let all of these little Golden boy Michaels out — there wreaking havoc all over the place ….. and, and why are they all wearing different clothes?
Did someone dress them differently?
WTF!!!
Gracie, I had to ask my sister what day it is!
Tuesday morning is our pick up . . . *squirt, squirt, squirt* *squirting Gracie in the eye* oh, I’m sorry honey!!!!!
Uhhhh, no?
*hiccups*
:blush:
Hi everyone!
Uh, new drink! And quote option! And Bad clothes Mike…
me neither… but we all know I am the drunk…
nope I dont’ see it either..
Hi ya Annie.
Scroll down and look for MJ, I’m having one now.
It’s delic — no, you have to try it for yourself!
:angel:
Aw, Annie…
I think he looks super cute there!!! Bad clothes or not. LOL!!!
Mikegasm, please!!!
Don’t you want to try a glass of MJ Frodes? I swear, I’m surprised people are not knocking down the door for this drink
Annie you mean, not Bad meaning bad but Bad meaning good, right!!!
Hi MIchael! :wub:
:blush: boy, i feel sheepish…was that really there all day? :dizzy: duh..
but hey, sounds yummmmeeeee so, i’ll try one but, even though i know it’s not his style, make mine a quickie cuz i’m on the run!
Here you go Gracie, now careful, I’ve filled it up to da brim.
Now what’s not his style, the juice or the quickie?
You know, Michael was always drinking orange juice.
:wink: